How To Find a Female Friend

[Liagala]

Lose the filter. Really, that little part in your brain that says "Oh man, I should watch what I say. I don't want to offend this person, because she might be interested in me." What' you're doing is: Needlessly making yourself unavailable. In half the people, this filter is what stops you from even talking to someone. The shy people. In the other half, this filter might get you a date or two, but sets you up for a painful break-up later. If you have to withhold your actual thoughts from someone to get them to like you, then they don't actually like you anyway.

Listen to this man. It's frustrating as shit for a woman to think she's met a guy she thinks she likes, only to find out a few dates in that he was just trying to look good. It's even more frustrating to like a guy and have it fade away because you think he's not interested, only to find out a year later when you're dating someone else that he was just too afraid to talk to you. Just relax, and have fun. If she's going to like you, she'll like you. If she won't, no magic formula is going to change that. You still get the same results, but without a lot of the headache and stress that goes with it.

How can you tell if a girl's interested in you? We're pretty easy to read, honestly. Guys get it wrong and think it's difficult because they start overthinking stuff. When we like you we'll pay attention to you, far more than we do anyone else. That's it. The details of how we're paying attention will vary from one girl to the next - some are shy and will keep shooting glances at you from across the room no matter who she's talking to, or will happen to be standing nearby whenever you find yourself not actively talking to someone else. Others will be more aggressive and sit next to you at any opportunity, laughing at your jokes and talking with you all evening. What she does specifically doesn't matter - if the majority of her attention is on you, you win. End of discussion.

[Ethes]

Ran into my girlfriend at university during my exchange program in Japan. She's crazy, so am I! So thats perfect!
Still happy and living together!

[konway]

1. Be attractive
2. Be good-looking
3. Don't be ugly

[Kivimetsan]

I thought it said "How To Find a Shemale Friend"... disappointed is an understatement.

Just do what you do now and someone will come along, worked for me and im happy with my girl

[Deleted]

Some people don't want to share their lives with anyone. Some people are content with being alone at least most of the time. I mean, you can always have short relationships, one night stands, friends with benefits, and shit like that. For some people though, the concept of sharing all privacy with someone else just doesn't fit, or that someone would have to be a way too extraordinary a person.

Then of course there are those of us who just want no - more - drama. Fighting, bickering, crying, making up. *hgnnrhhgh*

No thanks. I rather enjoy the solitude.

I was around 20 or so when I realized finally I'd stop chasing this unrealistic fantasy that I had of a relationship. I'm 33 now. Sure, there've been a few days here and there when I've thought it'd be fun to share deep shit with someone, but let's face it, those moments were quite ephemeral. As I said before, you can have relationships, without being in a relationship.

[konway]

Some people don't want to share their lives with anyone. Some people are content with being alone at least most of the time. I mean, you can always have short relationships, one night stands, friends with benefits, and shit like that. For some people though, the concept of sharing all privacy with someone else just doesn't fit, or that someone would have to be a way too extraordinary a person.

Then of course there are those of us who just want no - more - drama. Fighting, bickering, crying, making up. *hgnnrhhgh*

No thanks. I rather enjoy the solitude.

I was around 20 or so when I realized finally I'd stop chasing this unrealistic fantasy that I had of a relationship. I'm 33 now. Sure, there've been a few days here and there when I've thought it'd be fun to share deep shit with someone, but let's face it, those moments were quite ephemeral. As I said before, you can have relationships, without being in a relationship.

Sounds like you had a few dysfunctional relationships and decided all relationships must be dysfunctional. Or you never really had a relationship and base your views on tabloids and reality TV...

[Deleted]

Sounds like you had a few dysfunctional relationships and decided all relationships must be dysfunctional. Or you never really had a relationship and base your views on tabloids and reality TV...

A normal relationship is filled with fighting, bickering and heartache. It's not constant, of course, but there's still plenty of it. It's not dysfunctional. It's just not something I want. I've had my fair share of it already.

Incidentally, I don't read tabloids, and I don't watch reality shows with romantic relationships.

[konway]

A normal relationship is filled with fighting, bickering and heartache. It's not constant, of course, but there's still plenty of it. It's not dysfunctional. It's just not something I want. I've had my fair share of it already.

Incidentally, I don't read tabloids, and I don't watch reality shows with romantic relationships.

I think your vision of a "normal" relationship is extremely distorted. I've had plenty of relationships, there was never much fighting, bickering or heartache. If the relationship ever reached a point where there was a lot of that, we ended it and moved on. It's not that difficult.

Plenty of people settle for relationships like that because for various reasons; they're lazy, terrible at picking partners, don't think they deserve better, don't know what they want, etc. That doesn't make it normal though...

[Deleted]

I think your vision of a "normal" relationship is extremely distorted. I've had plenty of relationships, there was never much fighting, bickering or heartache. If the relationship ever reached a point where there was a lot of that, we ended it and moved on. It's not that difficult.

Yeah, uhh... "Relationships" which end when there's too much fighting aren't really relationships. I've had plenty of those kinds of "relationships", which are conveniently ended when or before there's too much drama.

I'm talking about stuff that will last until one of you dies, or in other words, real relationships.

[MAGAmobile]

You live your life and take risks you think are worth taking, even if the motion of it is terrifying. Lose the whole waiting for the right person etc because there are several people out there who are the right person for you. You'll never meet a single one unless you actually go out and do something about it unless you're very lucky. There is no magical or perfect opportunity to meet someone until you drop your fears, swallow your pride, and try.

[Nario64]

I met my girl on PlentyofFish.com. It's a little touch and go out there but if you're patient you might pull in a good catch.

[nightshark]

My advice is to be happy with yourself. It's cheesey advice but it is true. If you are depressed about being forever alone then you will not be happy in a relationship either. But you can fool yourself to believing it will change everything.

I have been in 4 "relationships" during my life - by that I mean people I dated 6 months or more. Some of those, I was genuinely unhappy with my life, or the woman was and it only made us bring each other down.

Also be extremely careful of women who have had a lot of partners and move on easily. No matter how much they make you feel like you have an amazing connection, they will do the same to you. Guaranteed.

[aztr0]

Best advice is don't go searching for it. Live your normal daily life, go where you usually go, do what you usually do. That way you meet a girl/boy in a place you visit or have hobbies at, and a good chance they're interested in the same area. Also makes it easier to make small talk and plan activity's if it goes well. This gives people the illusion that you have confidence (if you don't) since you know what you like and where you like to go and have a sense of direction.

What if living a normal life is staying at home in their parent's basement all day? Look, if you do the same things over and over again and expect a different result, that's not going to happen. If you've been alone for a while now and haven't had much luck with getting a companion, obviously there's something about you that you need to change. Ex. if you are a shy person, you will need to get some courage up to ask. This isn't movie, if you're a male looking for female, chances are a woman will not be making their first move, unless you're filthy rich.

Where can you go to meet someone? Best shots are friends of friends and in extension, their friends. I was invited to a girl's bday party, and my friend wanted me to invite him too so he can get in with the crowd. Now he has made an extension of female friends from this one encounter. All he did was get to know my friend, who introduced him to her friends, and those friends introduced him to their other friends. The cycle continues. And if you don't have any friends to connect with, GL.

How do you find the confidence? If you like the girl enough, you just do. I can't really explain it anymore plainly. Every girl I've called my girlfriend, I just took her hand and made my move. I was nervous, sure. But you have to do it, if you want her.

How do you know if she's into you? Chances are she's interested if she continues to go out with you when you call her to do stuff, I'm talking about weekly meetings, not once in a blue moon. If she's not, then she'll deny you. And if you're friendzoned, you'll know. Obviously, you want to take note of the conversations and try not to draw into quick conclusions.

[theWocky]

How old are you, OP?

After I got divorced, I had a lot of... fun on the dating sites :P

No shortage of women and if you're a guy who can listen and ask questions, you will make a friend quick.

Go for an afternoon coffee - it makes for a relaxed environment as it is public, less noisy than a pub or night club and safe and easy to bail if it doesn't seem to be working out. Well, that worked for me.

[Asphyxiate9]

I'm shy and quiet, obviously I open up after a while to someone but unfortunately it feels like I'm almost guaranteed forever alone status unless I meet someone online where I feel like I can be myself from the get-go.

I don't like talking myself up or anything but I feel like I'm relatively good looking, and can tell girls are interested quite often but I guess my shyness and quietness is a massive turn off. I guess they don't realise / don't want to wait for me to open up.

That being said though, I only am able to meet females through friends or games lol :/

[xindralol]

I hear chloroform works well.

someone speaking from experience?

[Peso]

How old are you, OP?

After I got divorced, I had a lot of... fun on the dating sites :P

No shortage of women and if you're a guy who can listen and ask questions, you will make a friend quick.

Go for an afternoon coffee - it makes for a relaxed environment as it is public, less noisy than a pub or night club and safe and easy to bail if it doesn't seem to be working out. Well, that worked for me.

I'm Eighteen.

[Gestopft]

A normal relationship is filled with fighting, bickering and heartache. It's not constant, of course, but there's still plenty of it. It's not dysfunctional. It's just not something I want. I've had my fair share of it already.

Incidentally, I don't read tabloids, and I don't watch reality shows with romantic relationships.

I have been with my wife for 5 years and we have yet to have a yelling match. We understand how to compromise and talk things out before they start to fester.

[-Zait-]

I've had gf's and I have chick friends, but I'm not forever alone (x

[Deleted]

I've had a few "real" relationships, a couple of fwb, a few one night stands and a whole bunch of female friends through the years.

Right now I'm incredibly single though (new in town, no gf, only a handful of friends through which I can meet new people so far).