"Best Friend"

[koodledrum]

Rather than mucking about in a place where you knew you would get a thousand "friendzoned" replies you could actually, y'know ask the girl herself, the chances are she's not exactly gonna flip out and smash your face in with a rolling pin - believe it or not she'll probably prefer that you're being open & honest.

As for the "friend zone" and it's legitimacy, I would suggest to you that it does exist, but that it's banded about all too often as some mythical answer to protect the guys feelings as generally, the real reason she's not hooking up with you is that she doesn't find you attractive.

[Cirque]

Just ask her jokingly next time she says that "so I've been totally friendzoned then" and see what she says.

Love doesn't just happen. You gotta work for it. She doesn't like you? Tell yourself 'yet'. Keep it up, flirt some, but not too much. It's rare for 2 people to just magically like each other from the get-go. Usually feelings start on one side. It's hard to resist affection by someone, so that's how the other side may start to develop feelings of her own.

I "friendzoned" my fiancee back then. We're getting married next year. He just kept it up.

[Kirse]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

You do sound young. In most cases I have seen in my 32 years, girls either flirt or make it clear that they want to just be friends. It's possible that she also doesn't want to ruin the friendship by having a relationship, so it's important to look for clear signals that she feels otherwise.

Me and Cirque are living proff that some friendships can become more. I was friends with my (now) husband for 5 yrs when I was in another relationship. We moved in together as roommates, and I developed a romantic interest in him that I didn't think was returned. I almost moved out over it because it seemed inappropriate, when he admitted to feeling that way about me. It took a lot of work to change how we related from one another, and we would have screwed it up if we had tried it when we were younger (we were 20 at the time).

Because it can be so weird and relationships come and go so frequently, I would try to remain just friends unless you're pretty certain that it will work out. Great friendships are hard to come by and you don't want to make things awkward. Maybe give it some time and pay more attention as to whether she shows interest beyond friendship.

---------- Post added 2012-12-15 at 01:30 PM ----------

Rather than mucking about in a place where you knew you would get a thousand "friendzoned" replies you could actually, y'know ask the girl herself, the chances are she's not exactly gonna flip out and smash your face in with a rolling pin - believe it or not she'll probably prefer that you're being open & honest.

I would do this if/when it feels right, but give it some time. If she says no, you should be prepared to work hard to never cross the line in your friendshp after that point because it'll likely ruin it. Don't flirt, sulk, or bring it up repeatedly. If she cares about your feelings and you are able to let the idea of a relationshp go if you're rejected, things should eventually be able to return to normal. You may need to back off a little for a while, depending on her response.

[Ethes]

In fact, sex is a core component of what most people would define as "love," and it's why relationships where sex is infrequent, unpleasant, or some combination of the two are not healthy, successful relationships.

Ehm, not exactly. Sex is a byproduct of love, not the otherway around.

[Quirin]

I'm going to give out more info, this is all online by the way, as in we play WoW together.

She has also admitted that she has feelings for me which is another reason she broke up with her BF. But she doesn't want to do anything or talk about it. She just wants things to go back to the way they were before aka. best friends.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

I'm going to give out more info, this is all online by the way, as in we play WoW together.

She has also admitted that she has feelings for me which is another reason she broke up with her BF. But she doesn't want to do anything or talk about it. She just wants things to go back to the way they were before aka. best friends.

You're not getting any of that sweet, sweet ass.

[chocobo606]

I'm going to give out more info, this is all online by the way, as in we play WoW together.

She has also admitted that she has feelings for me which is another reason she broke up with her BF. But she doesn't want to do anything or talk about it. She just wants things to go back to the way they were before aka. best friends.

let me get this straight, she broke up with her boyfriend and one of the reasons for it was because she has feelings for you? But she doesn't want to talk about those feelings, and she just wants to stay best friends... for now?

In my opinion, I think she likes the attention you give her but has no interest in you. Maybe she tells a lot of people they're her best friend. but that's just a guess, I could be totally wrong. It's hard to answer something like this without knowing the type of girl she is and what she does and blah blah blah.

[The Casualty]

I'm going to give out more info, this is all online by the way, as in we play WoW together.

She has also admitted that she has feelings for me which is another reason she broke up with her BF. But she doesn't want to do anything or talk about it. She just wants things to go back to the way they were before aka. best friends.

She and her boyfriend broke up. She likely feels pretty low and you are there to give her attention. To make matters worse, your "best friend" relationship is entirely on WoW.

Enjoy it for what it is if you want, but don't invest your heart and time or your toon won't be the only thing to get burned for standing in the fire.

[Luko]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

Please don't give into the internet trend of "friendzoning." Seriously, it's nothing more than a glorified status for people who for one reason or another couldn't get the girl.

Look, if she called you her best friend, it's because you're her best friend. If you plan to try and take it deeper than that, the first thing you need to do is completely get it out of your head that her wording of "friend" has anything to do with your chances. It's totally separate. Chances are, she's never even considered you as a romantic interest and its up to you to change that.

Just show her a good time. Let her feel safe and secure and let her know through your actions that she's always got shelter with you, but don't leave it at that. You've also got to be able to entertain her and keep her on her toes. Basically, you've got to impress her beyond what you already have. Just do us all a favor and dont do anything weird to jeopardize the friendship like sending her weird letters or pouncing in for an unexpected kiss just because you made her giggle.

Just have fun with it.

/edit. Just read the "its only online" thing. Eh well, most of what I said still applies...

[Exerionx]

You sound pretty friendzoned, she's coming to you because she just broke up with a loved one.

Support her but don't get really emotional about the whole breakup, just listen about it. Try not too act over-friendly and give that 'best friend' connection.

[-Zait-]

Your in the friend zone. Don't be a scumbag who manipulates her into being with you. Worry about being a good friend and giving objective advice to make her happier, and you might start going out. Make sure a good amount of time has passed between if you go out and her breaking up with her bf, you don't want to be the rebound guy.

[Deleted]

Before she broke up with her BF, she said I was her best friend too so.. lol

Hey did you get with that chick or not?

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Hey did you get with that chick or not?

From what he's posted, I'm guessing not.

[skatblast]

Hi welcome to the friend zone

[Deleted]

From what he's posted, I'm guessing not.

Well they should get together for real and stop pussyfooting.

[Tziva]

All of my serious partners, including my current spouse, were good friends first.

That said, I also have numerous good friends for whom I did not have romantic feelings for and never would have been interested in dating.

So, it could go either way. I would suggest continuing the friendship if you actually enjoy her company and not because you have ulterior motives or expectations. If something develops in the future, then great. If it doesn't, then at least you have a cool friend out of it. If you're only hanging out with her because you hope for it to be more, then it's better for both of you if you stop -- you for wasting your time, her for being mislead to think you're there to be her friend and not just waiting by to court her.

[Luko]

Well they should get together for real and stop pussyfooting.

Something I've noticed with these online relationships lately; 80% of it IS pussyfooting, and I'm not even talking entirely about the introductory period either, but long into the relationship. I wont pretend to understand it but there's very little "for real" to it at all. I mean that in a totally non traditional aspect of the phrase.

[Deleted]

Something I've noticed with these online relationships lately; 80% of it IS pussyfooting, and I'm not even talking entirely about the introductory period either, but long into the relationship. I wont pretend to understand it but there's very little "for real" to it at all. I mean that in a totally non traditional aspect of the phrase.

I know, it's weird as hell but hey life is like that...you gotta take a chance on people in a non conventional way to fully understand their needs and hopefully fulfill your own

[Quirin]

She doesn't want to pursue a relationship, but I will keep being her friend and see what happens.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

She doesn't want to pursue a relationship, but I will keep being her friend and see what happens.

I'll reiterate, to save you time and effort.

You're not getting any of the sweet, sweet ass.