So there's this girl...

[The Troll Rogue]

Hey everyone.

Recently I've started talking to this chick (both of us are 21, just for reference) and I really like her but I'm having some troubles. We've known each other for about 3 weeks now and we've hung out 3 times so far (she lives about 40 minutes north of me so I can't just go see her whenever I want to) and each time has been amazing. Whenever I'm around her I suddenly just feel so much better about any and everything. Anytime I get a text from her I instantly smile and even if I'm having a terrible day at work just the thought of her helps me get through it.

Now we've already talked about us and she knows how I feel about her and she told me that she likes me too, but she doesn't want to hurt me because she feels like she's not a good person, which I argue against completely. I want her to see that I'm willing to take the chance with her because I feel like she won't hurt me and that we'd be great together. My friend is really big into horoscopes and stuff like that and says that on paper we are literally perfect for each other, but that's just on paper. Now my problem is that it seems like I'm getting mixed signals from her. Whenever we're together, like I said, it's great. All 3 times we've been together has ended in me and her in each others arms cuddling or something. Last time we hung out at her house she fell asleep with her head on my chest and her arms around my waist and I wouldn't have traded that night for anything.

I think my question for you, oh glorious people of Mmo-Champion, is what do I do? How to I let her know that I WANT to be with her and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove that? She's not the type of person that takes someone telling her a bunch of mushy stuff well. She's more focused on how she feels when she's around that person, which from the times we've been together has seemed like she's pretty comfortable around me and obviously likes me by the way she interacts with me. I just want to have her in my life, and as more than just a friend. What do I do?

[Mizzow]

Keep doing what you're doing, and let things progress

Time is a magical thing friend

[Deleted]

Just tell her, worst thing that can happen is she says no.

[The Troll Rogue]

Just tell her, worst thing that can happen is she says no.

Exactly, that IS the worst thing. I haven't felt how I feel about her before. I honestly haven't been in a relationship that hasn't lasted more than a week or 2 just because it dies away, but with this girl I feel so much different.

---------- Post added 2012-09-10 at 03:44 PM ----------

Keep doing what you're doing, and let things progress

Time is a magical thing friend

Yeah, that'd be a good thing if I didn't know that there were other guys trying to do the same thing. I want to make a move before I lose my chance with her.

[Palmatum]

Exactly, that IS the worst thing. I haven't felt how I feel about her before. I honestly haven't been in a relationship that hasn't lasted more than a week or 2 just because it dies away, but with this girl I feel so much different.

---------- Post added 2012-09-10 at 03:44 PM ----------



Yeah, that'd be a good thing if I didn't know that there were other guys trying to do the same thing. I want to make a move before I lose my chance with her.

Well it's either that or live your life wondering " What if? ".

Just get on with it and ignore horoscopes...

[The Troll Rogue]

Well it's either that or live your life wondering " What if? ".

Just get on with it and ignore horoscopes...

I'm not big on horoscopes honestly, although mine depicts me pretty accurately. I don't follow them but like i said our mutual friend is really big into them.

[mikencarly]

I'm not big on horoscopes honestly, although mine depicts me pretty accurately. I don't follow them but like i said our mutual friend is really big into them.

Just go for it no regrets here been married for 12 years now best chance ever! better to know now then waste your time away imho.

[Deleted]

Well it's either that or live your life wondering " What if? ".

Just get on with it and ignore horoscopes...

This a million times, especially the horoscope thing.

[Deleted]

awww she wants to be chased. cute

[strangerdanger]

Just give it some time.. Don't rush into telling her how you would die without her or any nonsense like that or it may just scare her off.

Don't let jealousy about other guys trying to be with her cloud your judgement. If it's meant to be, it'll happen.

[Cirque]

Get on dates, make the move I'd say.

And consider, also, why she's saying this. It may be worth asking more about that and get to know more of it and show her you're interested and you're ok with whatever.

[GeordieMagpie]

Wait a week or so, or just do it now. Ask her out on a date, something nice but simple. Not "I would die without you, come visit the Titanic with me and die with me" or something. You get the point, worst case scenario is she says no.

[Kalis]

...she told me that she likes me too, but she doesn't want to hurt me because she feels like she's not a good person...

That's what I say when I think the other person wants something more from a friendship than I do - I'm not saying that's what she means, but I'd relax and see how things play out if I was in your position.

For some girls it's 'slowly, slowly, catchy monkey' that works best.

[Deleted]

Now we've already talked about us and she knows how I feel about her and she told me that she likes me too, but she doesn't want to hurt me because she feels like she's not a good person, which I argue against completely.

Now... to me this reads that she's already kind of gently told you that no, she is not interested in that kind of relationship. It might just be a little white lie, because she does seem to genuinely like you as a friend at least.

But you never know! As others have said, time might be your friend here. You can also just ask her again simply and bluntly, then you know if it's going to be a no, maybe or yes. Also worth getting into *why* exactly she thinks she's not a good person in that regard.

[Deleted]

I kinda feel you got friendzoned and she is banging someone in her town. Atleast she is being honest about it telling you she ain't a good person.

[Kalis]

I kinda feel you got friendzoned and she is banging someone in her town. Atleast she is being honest about it telling you she ain't a good person.

This is the 'bull in a china shop' version of the answers given by Fizzywix and myself.

[Levicopter]

Now we've already talked about us and she knows how I feel about her and she told me that she likes me too, but she doesn't want to hurt me because she feels like she's not a good person, which I argue against completely

If I might say...
View of a female: She likes you as much as you like her!

As she said she is afraid she might hurt you, and she does not want to because you're important to her.
Let her know everything you wrote here. I think she might be a bit scared about her feelings? Maybe she is also kind of sceptical as she thinks you might reject her?(of course, I am not saying that you would! Just taking it from that point!) Especially as you both know each other for 3 weeks, that could also be a reason why she might be kind of afraid of her feelings.

If you tell her, how much you care, and how much you would appreciate at least trying...

Good Luck♥

[shadowboxer123]

We've known each other for about 3 weeks now and we've hung out 3 times so far (she lives about 40 minutes north of me so I can't just go see her whenever I want to) and each time has been amazing.

I'm going to be blunt, and I don't mean any disrespect. But 3 weeks and hanging out 3 times is not that long. I'm glad that you guys like each other and that everything has gone well, but truthfully that doesn't mean that that EITHER of you really knows the other person. If she is having problems committing to a relationship, that might be part of the problem.

Now we've already talked about us and she knows how I feel about her and she told me that she likes me too, but she doesn't want to hurt me because she feels like she's not a good person, which I argue against completely.

But how do you know? You have only known her for 3 weeks.

How to I let her know that I WANT to be with her and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove that? She's not the type of person that takes someone telling her a bunch of mushy stuff well. She's more focused on how she feels when she's around that person, which from the times we've been together has seemed like she's pretty comfortable around me and obviously likes me by the way she interacts with me.

In my experience, once a woman knows for sure that you are going to place her on a pedestal and do ANYTHING to get her, that kills a lot of attraction. If she knows for sure that she can have you, and has other options, then she might explore the other options that are harder to obtain. I mean she knows that she can have you at any time, right? So that lets her check out other options and if they don't work out she can come back to her safety net.

My point is that I don't think that you should go to her and profess your undying love and that you will do anything to win her over. Not yet. Maybe there will come a time when you can do that (although I think there are better ways to win a woman over) but doing that within 3 weeks time is way too soon, IMO.

If you guys are having a good time, focus on the now. Leave a little bit of mystery for her. If she knows beyond all doubt how you feel, there is no mystery at all.

So like someone else said, keep doing what is working. Keep having fun and good times. Don't come off as needy or that you are going to place her on a pedestal.

Regardless, best of luck!

[Pugslie]

Being a girl myself, I feel like this is the sort of thing I would and have said to somebody whom I enjoyed being around but I didn't want to have a relationship with. Her telling you she feels like she's not a good person is not a lie exactly, but it's another way of saying, if she leads you on in a relationship and ends up finding what she's looking for somewhere else, she'll probably step over you to get it. Now this is just me, and just how I see it, but the best way to figure it out is to be direct, ask her out, or give her all your feelings, don't hold back, but if she blocks you with an indirect wall again, you should take the hint.

[The Troll Rogue]

The reason she thinks she's not a good person because all of her past relationships have been terrible, either abusive verbally or physically, the guy just turns out to be a dick, or they don't give her the affection she deserved. I hope and pray that it isn't the "friendzone" theory because I honestly don't know what I'd do if it was. I can tell she does like me whenever we're together as I said, but when we text or something it just feels so distant, and I realize it's hard to actually portray how you want to say something without saying it. I'm thinking I'm just going to go for it and talk it over with her again and see how it goes, but the last thing I want to do is push her away. I'm so conflicted!