Mom cheated on dad

[Goronfighter]

Alright, I woke up this morning with my dad sitting next to me and when he saw I was awake he had me read an email on my mom's tablet. Showing that she is cheating on him and everything. Well he calls her while shes at work and she told him it's over.
Now i'm 17 this is my senior year in high school and this is really going to throw me off my school work. I don't know what to do I don't know what to think
any advice?

[checking facts]

my advice is: don't let it bother you. your mom will always be your mom. your dad will always be your dad. they don't have to be together to be your parents.

also, don't follow your mom's example. cheating is bad. if you don't like your partner anymore, just break up. betraying someone's trust is the worst thing you could ever do.

[Zazzmi]

Dad sounds like a real peach of a father.

Tell them BOTH to leave you out of their problems and grow up.

[Martinussen]

not to sound rude, but some more details on you and your parents relationship would be nice. There are different ways to react to this depending how your current relationship with your parents is.

[Lastblow]

yeah that sucks pretty bad but it could be worse.

[Tradewind]

But no really, not much you can do about it...just stay out of the way.

[Rukentuts]

Nothing you really can do. Just make sure he kicks her cheating ass out and not the other way around.

[smelltheglove]

why in the hell would your dad have you read that? only reason i can think of is to "win" you over to "his side". dont play into that shit, there will be no winners in this. just do what you need to do to keep going.

also inb4 "can i haz mom's phone number?"

[Sparkiee]

I know its quite comon but thought id share my experience with you.

Mum and dad split up since ive been 6, always had problems between each other and even more since my step dad came into our lives, i love them all and there all great people in diffrent ways but your going to have to try and deal with the problems that arise in a mature way, not going to sugar coat it, as much as you ask them to try and keep you out of it odds are you will be in the middle of it, sad to say.

For me personaly i look back on alot of the things and it helped me mature at such a young age, might not be the same for everyone and theres probably some people who have had a horrible time with the parents splitting up but its really all about how you deal with it in your head to an extent.

Honestly hope everything works out for you, just be mentaly ready to deal with any problems and things, deal with them like a mature adult and you will be fine my friend.

Edit:

Another thing, dont feel pressured about choosing between them. When i say this i generaly mean about who to live with if it comes to that, its your choice. Your almost 18, make sure whatever decisions you take are the right ones for YOU, your parents will always be there for you and if they decide to hate you or whatever for choosing one or the other thats there problem, they will always love you and visa versa whatever happens.

Hope this helps you out

[Theinquisition]

Nothing you really can do. Just make sure he kicks her cheating ass out and not the other way around.

This.

I agree 100%

[-aiko-]

Nothing you really can do. Just make sure he kicks her cheating ass out and not the other way around.

Indeed. She made her choice, your dad shouldn't put up with any of her shit.

[Somebodyelse]

Alright, I woke up this morning with my dad sitting next to me and when he saw I was awake he had me read an email on my mom's tablet. Showing that she is cheating on him and everything. Well he calls her while shes at work and she told him it's over.
Now i'm 17 this is my senior year in high school and this is really going to throw me off my school work. I don't know what to do I don't know what to think
any advice?

It's absolutely none of your business...That's really sad, but really really not YOUR problem, so...Don't let your parents be asses with you by bringing you IN that conflict...stay away from it...Find comfort with friends and let the "grownups deal with their shit"

[DEATHETERNAL]

If your mother did what you say was told to you, and your father did nothing that would similarly justify a divorce (I assume you would have stated that was so if it was), stick with your dad and focus on your work. Try to not let the harm your mother has so stupidly wrought upon your family hold you back or damage your relationship with your dad.

I was a senior in college when my mother unjustifiably left my father and filed for divorce. I did not let it interfere with my studies by breaking it down to the simplest, truest denominator I would think of; that it was my mother that was messing everything up and that my father did not deserve any of this and neither did he have a meaningful, wrongful hand in causing it to happen. I maintained the same relationship as before with my dad and maintained minimum contact with my mother. Simply accepting reality and the causes of that reality simplifies things greatly instead of trying to accept two different realities (that neither parent was at fault and both should be looked at the same as before) with one of those realities being false.

While your father is the one ending the marriage, he has the one reason that justifies doing so and so is not to blame. Stick with him, accept that your mother is the cause of this (barring your father having done something equally as wrong as stated above that I assume you would have mentioned if true), maintain whatever minimal contact (if any) with your mother as you see fit, and continue your life making sure you do not make the same horrendous choice your mother made.

It's absolutely none of your business...

The gross misconduct of a parent that greatly affects his life is always the child's business especially when the "child" is of the age of the original poster.


I am sorry for your loss, Goronfighter. No child should have inflicted upon them what your mother has inflicted upon you.

[Itisamuh]

Nothing you really can do. Just make sure he kicks her cheating ass out and not the other way around.

This pretty much covers it.

[Wildtree]

Nothing you really can do. Just make sure he kicks her cheating ass out and not the other way around.

There's always 2 sides of a story.... I wouldn't be just that quick with judgement. There could very well be reasons that drove her into that situation.
Cheating is usually just that, a cheat. something happens, but it usually ends as quick as it started, if not faster. Apparently mom wants to end the marriage.
And that's rather an indicator that there are other issues. Usually... I say that now again.. USUALLY, mothers sacrifice almost everything for their children.
It's super safe to say that 99 out of 100 women will remain in a dysfunctional marriage just because of the kids.

Dysfunctional.. I am pretty convinced that the father is a douche bag. He has ZERO business digging in his wife's email. That is her private sphere and even marriage doesn't make that invalid. I would never ever dig into my woman's stuff... Hell, I hand her the purse when she needs something out of it. I refuse to open it and take anything out of there, even if she is right next to me, and could see what I do.
Additionally, telling the kids about a break up has to happen. No question. But not THAT way. That's a no go, period.
What ever happens between a man and a woman is their deal. Keep them kids out of it, and stop playing the guilt trip game, trying to lure the kids on either side.
That's bullshit, that's a no go....

And I say that as a parent, as a married man, who went through a divorce before. No, cheating was not a reason. But we have a kid too. And his well being trumps the couples inability to continue the relationship. Hence why I consider the father a douche... Dunno how much it factors into the marriage breakup and her decision, but I can see it as significant.
He certainly did a great job throwing his kid into an emotional turmoil...

[Rukentuts]

There's always 2 sides of a story.... I wouldn't be just that quick with judgement. There could very well be reasons that drove her into that situation.

Blah blah blah, she could have been an adult and left him. Any pity goes out the window when she crossed that line.

[Tradewind]

Blah blah blah, she could have been an adult and left him. Any pity goes out the window when she crossed that line.

Agree with this 100%. Even if there's problems, sort it out like an adult or split up. Don't go fucking things.

[Osmeric]

It would have been worse for you had you been younger.

Try not to choose sides; parents are people who are trying to make their way through the fog of life, just like yourself.

And remember, this isn't about you, so don't make it harder on either of them.

[KCguy]

my advice is: don't let it bother you. your mom will always be your mom. your dad will always be your dad. they don't have to be together to be your parents.

also, don't follow your mom's example. cheating is bad. if you don't like your partner anymore, just break up. betraying someone's trust is the worst thing you could ever do.

Easier said than done right? Not sure why people always say these cliche things. It's pointless. Don't let it bother you? He will think about it, a lot.

[Wheater]

See a therapist or counselor if it's really bothering you. Just try to wrap your head around how people aren't perfect and more importantly, not all women are cheaters. With any luck your dad will kick her out and you'll be better off.