Is it Cheating?

[Themius]

Its another made up term. Everyone is either a man or woman, even if they are a transexual man they are still a MAN therefore its an unnecessary term unless it also means she has sex with inanimate objects, animals, and plants or something

If they are a transexual man then wouldn't they be a woman? Legally and well.. as far as their gender is concerned they are a woman.

Pansexual means little more than attraction to any male or female, even if their sex now is different than the sex they were born with. I think it's a fine term actually. For instance I really can't imagine myself with FtM (though holy shit I have seen some cute/hot FtM who have thrown me for a loop) just saying...

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Also, she DOESN'T consider it cheating because it was her best friend. I was not okay with that response, to me it doesn't matter.

What the fuck is that?

Don't even put up with that shit.

[DEATHETERNAL]

How could it possibly not be cheating? Drop her.

[Shyzhi]

Ontopic: who else had to wiki pansexual

I did

Personly, If my GF kissed another girl or boy id see it as cheating. (Unless its family..) a kiss lower then 2secs? xD its ok :P most kisses dont last 2secs ;> anyway. to me its cheating and i dont know if i could personly forgive someone for it. As it would make me paranoid who elses she kisses and stuff.

[Charge me Doctor]

Well, if you wanted to go wasted, this kind of shit can happen. Deal with it. And yes, this is cheating.

[Rezhial]

Yes it is cheating, give her a little shit for it, make her feel guilty for a while then forgive her. It's only kissing, but make sure she knows you wont accept it a second time.

This is probably your best bet.

This is something I personally would not mind, but it obviously would come down to how you feel about it.

[Roose]

If you get to make out with her too then it is OK.

Cheating or not, if she is doing this and you ask her to stop, then just move on because she obviously is not on the same page and never will be.

[Nero Duskwind]

So, here's the scenario. My girlfriend, her friend and I are all sitting in the back of this car. My best friend and another friend are sitting up front, we are all drinking, having a good time. The girls are GONE, and i step out for a bit to get some fresh air. I'm gone for...3 minutes? I come back, I find out my girlfriend made out with her friend, after her friend kissed her. My friends up front swear it was for a good minute, it wasn't a peck, it wasn't that she was in shock, she seemed to go with it, for a good solid minute.

Things to consider:

1. She is a pansexual (my girlfriend).
2. Anyone guy who comes in here saying I should stop worrying because it's hot, stop. I don't care, simply because it's a stupid stereotype to put on girls.
3. When I asked her if it was then okay to make out with a straight girl-friend of mine, she said no it's not okay, why? Because she's straight and so am I.

If you have to come here to ask, you probably already know the answer to your own question.

If she's not okay with you doing the same thing she just did, it's time to end it. Being "Pansexual" isn't an excuse for her to dictate a relationship that is open on her end alone.

[weedsurge]

if she and her friend are below 7/10 then they shouldn't be making out and you need to put a stop to that. if they're 7/10 or hotter then you should encourage it and possibly even film it.

[Nero Duskwind]

Yes it is cheating, give her a little shit for it, make her feel guilty for a while then forgive her. It's only kissing, but make sure she knows you wont accept it a second time.

If she's already rationalized it in her head that she did nothing wrong because it was with her best friend, then nothing the OP can do or say will make her feel guilty about it.

[Sadgazm]

Yes it's cheating. Because it bothers you and you're in the relationship. Every relationship is different because of the personalities of the people in it. For you the line was crossed so she needs to respect that line. I'd personally be pissed then get over it. If she didn't know the line she does now. Mistakes can happen when you have different boundaries but now she knows your limits. A second mistake and you should probably find a new girl.

[nyc81991]

If you have a problem with it than yes.

[Realsykes]

We had a talk the next day, she's extremely sorry for doing that to me, but still doesn't consider it cheating.

I think that's what's pissing me off the most, simply because she told me if roles reversed, it would be.

We are still together, I mean I love her, she loves me, that's one hell of a smack to the face but as some people pointed out it's not a deal breaker, in fact I'm glad it was her friend and not someone else, of which she told me WOULD be cheating.

The thing that gets me is she also has straight guy friends, so does this apply to them too? She never gave me an answer, although I didn't really ask that directly, but she said it would never happen again. The best friend and I have been talking and she feel terrible about it, we talked about my girlfriend, apparently even she thinks she is too unpredictable. Although, I bring up the slightest notion of having second thoughts, she jumps in a nanosecond to say she loves me more than anything.

Also, the other point that worries me is now do I have to worry about what she's doing if she's drinking somewhere else without me? I shouldn't have to worry about that, especially if she is telling the truth about her feelings.

[Rooflesstoofless]

Do you feel cheated on?

Everyone has different definitions and situations that will cause them to feel that way. If you do feel cheated on then you should talk to her about what happened but not make a huge deal about it.

[sugarlily]

<snip> Also, she DOESN'T consider it cheating because it was her best friend. I was not okay with that response, to me it doesn't matter.

Gah, so she has a special sexuality-type that makes any sexual activity with anyone "OK", no matter how her mate or S.O. (significant other) feels. Hmm. Yeah. Sounds amazingly sweet & loving to be with her. But according to her rules, straight ppl cannot do the same? (she said you aren't allowed to do it b/c you're straight) Huh? interesting. amazing rules bent in her favor. how awesome for you. *pukes

BTW, if it is so innocent according to her & not an issue you should bring up for debate or be hurt by, why doesn't she do it right in front of you, but waits 'til you aren't in the immediate area?

I'll sign off with my usual relationship sign-off ~
Always remember this~ it is the list I live by ~ it'll help you too! <3
1.) Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend.
2.) Tolerated behavior doesn't change.
3.) We teach people how to treat us.
4.) We get what we settle for.

[MAGAmobile]

We had a talk the next day, she's extremely sorry for doing that to me, but still doesn't consider it cheating.

I think that's what's pissing me off the most, simply because she told me if roles reversed, it would be.

We are still together, I mean I love her, she loves me, that's one hell of a smack to the face but as some people pointed out it's not a deal breaker, in fact I'm glad it was her friend and not someone else, of which she told me WOULD be cheating.

The thing that gets me is she also has straight guy friends, so does this apply to them too? She never gave me an answer, although I didn't really ask that directly, but she said it would never happen again. The best friend and I have been talking and she feel terrible about it, we talked about my girlfriend, apparently even she thinks she is too unpredictable. Although, I bring up the slightest notion of having second thoughts, she jumps in a nanosecond to say she loves me more than anything.

Also, the other point that worries me is now do I have to worry about what she's doing if she's drinking somewhere else without me? I shouldn't have to worry about that, especially if she is telling the truth about her feelings.

If she can't even live up to her own end of the bargain by getting pissed if you do the same thing, she's just being a hypocrite and doesn't respect you at all. I would honestly leave her at that point, but love is blind to people who are in it, no matter how grim or shitty it actually is.

[Seegtease]

What? Of course it's cheating. If she wouldn't let you do it, why should she be allowed to do it?

Dump her. It'll never last, she'll never be faithful to you. The fact that she is actually trying to justify it while saying you can't do it is absolutely disgusting. Only stay with her if you like being betrayed over and over again. The fact that she's okay with it means it WILL happen again and again.

[Orangetai420]

Yea, that's cheating all right.

[poser765]

If they are a transexual man then wouldn't they be a woman? Legally and well.. as far as their gender is concerned they are a woman.

Pansexual means little more than attraction to any male or female, even if their sex now is different than the sex they were born with. I think it's a fine term actually. For instance I really can't imagine myself with FtM (though holy shit I have seen some cute/hot FtM who have thrown me for a loop) just saying...

To me, pansexual feels like an invented solution for an invented problem.

[Pivotal]

We had a talk the next day, she's extremely sorry for doing that to me, but still doesn't consider it cheating.

This doesen't compute.

To me, it just sounds like she's saying sorry so you'll stop talking about it, to be honest..

Don't you think that if she was truly sorry, she would've thought about it and realized that it probably was not fair to you?