Is it Cheating?

[Seegtease]

This doesen't compute.

It just means she claims to regret hurting him, but she feels like she did no wrong. Which means she'll probably do it again, because it sure doesn't sound like a very good apology.

[Pivotal]

It just means she claims to regret hurting him, but she feels like she did no wrong. Which means she'll probably do it again, because it sure doesn't sound like a very good apology.

I dunno man, it sounds more like she's sorry he found out, rather than for hurting him. She wouldn't have been sorry if he hadn't found out, right?

I might be totally wrong here, but I've been in the same situation before, and I really hated all the obvious bs my ex threw at me. :P

[Seegtease]

I dunno man, it sounds more like she's sorry he found out, rather than for hurting him. She wouldn't have been sorry if he hadn't found out, right?

I might be totally wrong here, but I've been in the same situation before, and I really hated all the obvious bs my ex threw at me. :P

I'll go with yours if it motivates the OP to ditch her.

[Puck]

Nope, and that's the thing that irks me the most, she's insanely smart, was coherent, and told me if roles reversed, she wouldn't be okay with it.

Would she care if you kissed another guy?

[LolretKJ]

You do this often?

Ontopic: who else had to wiki pansexual

I actually did, not going to lie.

[jmmathe1988]

I don't think I would be upset if my girl kissed her best friend passionately, or any girl for that matter. A guy yes, but it just feels different for me I guess if its just another girl. Now if it happened all the time, then maybe I might start to worry she's switching teams...but as long as I was her man I don't think I would mind.

[Deleted]

The thing here is what you two have agreed upon in your relationship. A relationship is a mutual agreement to be with a certain person for a certain value.
It really doesnt matter if either of you is pansexual, bisexual or whatever, that has nothing to do with it.
And its not like she is an animal that cant control her urges if she is pansexual. Thats like saying gay people jumps every available person he/she can.
Pansexual is just about not caring what gender it is that you fall in love/have sex with, you fall in love/have sex with the person, not its gender.

If you both had agreed that its cheating to kiss another person, then its cheating.
If you both agreed that it isnt, then its not.

It all depends on what you have agreed on. If you dont know how far you BOTH can go and what is considered ok, then you should discuss it.

[-Ethos-]

If you need to ask, the answer is always going to be yes.

[Bahska]

Yes it is cheating, give her a little shit for it, make her feel guilty for a while then forgive her. It's only kissing, but make sure she knows you wont accept it a second time.

^^ agreed if she does it again then you should take it a lot more seriously. If you think it's cheating then it's cheating and she should respect that.

[Deleted]

Cheating and you know it!

[gnomergon]

IMO, it is all up to you. It is not our standards that your girlfriend should abide by, its yours. Just as you should abide by any standards she has (just to counter any argument that i'm being sexist >.>)

if it made you feel uncomfortable, then you need to confront her. imo though... this is not as bad as if she had done it to a guy. because guys become led on much more easily, which to me, is far worse than just doing something crazy with her best friend. I somehow doubt she was attempting to seduce her friend.

[Wildtree]

Jesus Christ. stop being puritan.... If you insist on the cheating... well so be it... But I tell you , you are rather puritan..
They were drinking.... They weren't sober. They had a good time, and two girls ended up exchanging a kiss. It wasn't in an enclosed environment and situation that he had zero chance to get ever aware of it. She didn't purposely set up a scenario, it was a spur of the moment.
It's a non-issue to me. We don't own other people. They are not our property.
They didn't kiss because they are in love. They kissed because they had fun and it was triggered by the comfort of a group of people having an awesome time.

So to me it is not cheating, as long as I am actually present.
The question rather is, what relationship basis actually exists here. There seem to be trust issues. That indicates a bad relationship.
If I was HER, I'd ditch him.. If you don't trust me enough, that you question my love to you. If you misread a spur of the moment, where you even took part, with me betraying you. Questioning my loyalty, then GTFO..

[Deleted]

0123456789

[Demidov]

Doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl she's kissing, it's still cheating.

[Buttfear]

She cheated, kick her to the curb and let her do it to someone else.

[NatePsy]

We had a talk the next day, she's extremely sorry for doing that to me, but still doesn't consider it cheating.

If she didn't consider it cheating/wrong, then why did she wait until you left the car? She probably wasn't expecting the friends that were also in the car, to tell you what happened. Sure she can say it won't happen again next time, but if it were to occur next time, you won't find out about it because she's going to be more smart about it.

[Seegtease]

Jesus Christ. stop being puritan.... If you insist on the cheating... well so be it... But I tell you , you are rather puritan..
They were drinking.... They weren't sober. They had a good time, and two girls ended up exchanging a kiss. It wasn't in an enclosed environment and situation that he had zero chance to get ever aware of it. She didn't purposely set up a scenario, it was a spur of the moment.
It's a non-issue to me. We don't own other people. They are not our property.
They didn't kiss because they are in love. They kissed because they had fun and it was triggered by the comfort of a group of people having an awesome time.

So to me it is not cheating, as long as I am actually present.
The question rather is, what relationship basis actually exists here. There seem to be trust issues. That indicates a bad relationship.
If I was HER, I'd ditch him.. If you don't trust me enough, that you question my love to you. If you misread a spur of the moment, where you even took part, with me betraying you. Questioning my loyalty, then GTFO..

Not everybody who isn't okay with an "open relationship" is a "puritan." It's quite natural for people to like our partners to be faithful to us emotionally and physically. The fact that you don't seem to is because you are the different one. The fact that you phrased it "two girls ended up exchanging a kiss" tells me you don't understand the gravity of the behavior. She's just as interested in men as she is in women. She draws no distinction. She could have done the same thing with a guy.

The only objective way to look at this for some people who do not grasp the concept of pansexual (or bisexual) is to imagine she was kissing a guy instead of a girl. Imagine it was a guy, and ask yourself if he should be hurt? Then we pile on the fact that she told him it would NOT be okay if he kissed another girl. Yes, she thinks it's okay for her to do it, but not okay for him to do it.

This is not okay.

[Realsykes]

Not everybody who isn't okay with an "open relationship" is a "puritan." It's quite natural for people to like our partners to be faithful to us emotionally and physically. The fact that you don't seem to is because you are the different one. The fact that you phrased it "two girls ended up exchanging a kiss" tells me you don't understand the gravity of the behavior. She's just as interested in men as she is in women. She draws no distinction. She could have done the same thing with a guy.

The only objective way to look at this for some people who do not grasp the concept of pansexual (or bisexual) is to imagine she was kissing a guy instead of a girl. Imagine it was a guy, and ask yourself if he should be hurt? Then we pile on the fact that she told him it would NOT be okay if he kissed another girl. Yes, she thinks it's okay for her to do it, but not okay for him to do it.

This is not okay.

This exactly.

You're right, I don't own her, but we both agreed upon something when we entered a relationship together, and that was to be faithful. Like I said before, If you are the type to want to fling around, a relationship isn't for you imo.

If she wants that type of stuff, then by all means, leave. I'm not going to stop her, because she obviously does not want what I want, and it'll cause more problems, but she has told me time and time again that she loves me more than anything. I'm the first guy, out of 20+ guys/gals that she can honestly say she loves/loved. I'm her everything, world etc etc. If I acted like I OWNED her, I wouldn't let it happen, I would baby her in terms of her life, and I don't.

also, to everyone nagging at the idea of pansexual, it just means she looks past gender, and loves the person for who they are, not for their gender, it's not a copout.

[Seegtease]

This exactly.

You're right, I don't own her, but we both agreed upon something when we entered a relationship together, and that was to be faithful. Like I said before, If you are the type to want to fling around, a relationship isn't for you imo.

If she wants that type of stuff, then by all means, leave. I'm not going to stop her, because she obviously does not want what I want, and it'll cause more problems, but she has told me time and time again that she loves me more than anything. I'm the first guy, out of 20+ guys/gals that she can honestly say she loves/loved. I'm her everything, world etc etc. If I acted like I OWNED her, I wouldn't let it happen, I would baby her in terms of her life, and I don't.

also, to everyone nagging at the idea of pansexual, it just means she looks past gender, and loves the person for who they are, not for their gender, it's not a copout.

Yeah. Basically just make sure she wants the same kind of relationship as you. You want a closed, exclusive relationship. You know she doesn't want you to do the same with other girls, but believes it to be okay when she does.

Either she wants it exclusive or she doesn't. She doesn't get to pick half and half in a way that favors her freedom and your limitations. Maybe she's not yet mature enough for a serious monogamous relationship.

[Fernling306]

Considering her sexual orientation more than anything else, I would say she absolutely cheated.