Is it wrong for someone to re-marry after their spouse dies?

[Oerba Yun Fang]

I don't see why. I honestly don't think your late spouse would want you to be alone the rest of your life. Death is inevitable. One of you is going to die before the other, and if you could find happiness with someone else, I think they'd want you to.

As for kids, I know many people who absolutely adore their stepparents and love them as if they were their biological parent.

[breadisfunny]

I don't see why. I honestly don't think your late spouse would want you to be alone the rest of your life. Death is inevitable. One of you is going to die before the other, and if you could find happiness with someone else, I think they'd want you to.

As for kids, I know many people who absolutely adore their stepparents and love them as if they were their biological parent.

there are also kids who feel exactly the opposite.

[frogger237]

Ask this question: Would your spouse really want you to be lonely and unhappy the rest of your life?

If the answer is yes then your spouse is a dick and you could find someone better.
If the answer is no then you should try to seek happiness after they pass on. Just dont do it right away.

[Pull My Finger]

What does "wrong" mean anyway? Who decides that? Who's concern is it? Who does one have to answer to? And what are the consequences? I can't really grasp the sense of the question.

[icedwarrior]

What does "wrong" mean anyway? Who decides that? Who's concern is it? Who does one have to answer to? And what are the consequences? I can't really grasp the sense of the question.

Morality? Methinks you're over-analyzing this a bit too much.

[Deleted]

It's not wrong, wtf.

My grandpa was 70 years old when my grandma died. He then found another woman that made his remaining 10 years enjoyable, how can you even argue that? Ffs.

[breadisfunny]

It's not wrong, wtf.

My grandpa was 70 years old when my grandma died. He then found another woman that made his remaining 10 years enjoyable, how can you even argue that? Ffs.

some religions will not allow you to remarry once your spouse dies.

[Deleted]

some religions will not allow you to remarry once your spouse dies.

Some religions can suck my dick

or in other words: "till death do us part"

[Pull My Finger]

Morality? Methinks you're over-analyzing this a bit too much.

That's one way to look at it. But then again, the simple reference to "morality" doesn't answer a thing - in fact, it poses the exact questions I just asked. You should have a pretty well-defined conception of what morality is if you're going out of your way to adhere to it.

The question still is: what's the point/use/sense?

[-Zait-]

After a respectful period of time has gone by.

[Letmesleep]

The decision to re-marry after a spouse has died is different for everyone and while many people think there's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy again, some people feel that they are betraying their lost spouse by remarrying. My grandmother decided never to seek love again even though she still had (and still has) a significant amount of life left in her, while another elderly woman I know eventually remarried.

I don't personally feel it's wrong in any way, and actually would encourage someone to seek it once they are ready. I suspect refusing to remarry can have a lot to do with being unable to cope with grief and bury the past than it does loyalty. I'd argue if the two people were in love, that the one who died wouldn't want the survivor to go the rest of their life alone. My grandmother really struggled with loneliness while the other elderly woman is now loving her life again. Both suffered from the loss of their husband and both grieved for a significant amount of time. One of them saw no point in suffering and resolved to be happy, while the other needed to rely on a small dog in order to somewhat fill the void.

There's something to be said about being sensitive to other family members after a loss, but if the two people really did have a healthy marriage it's not like the survivor is going to just start playing the field the next day. Ultimately, I can't see very many children who would want their parent to suffer loneliness till the end of their days. If you're going to live, at least do it well; mediocrity is a waste of suffering. People have a right to be happy, and refusing to seek it again because you feel a person who has already passed is going to disapprove is misguided. Again, I think it's grief that's holding people back, not necessarily loyalty.

Truthfully, I think many people, myself included, has a small piece of them that expects our family members to never remarry. I think THIS is wrong, though, because we're asking someone else to live a life of solitude in order to validate the memory of someone we lost. It doesn't have to be that way, though; you can fondly remember the past while embracing the future. Just because someone new enters the picture doesn't mean you stopped loving the person who died. Remember the lost, cherish the lost, but don't let them control the remainder of your life. They wouldn't even want that.

[Buxton McGraff]

"till death do us part" Pretty much sums it up.

[Bakis]

Is it wrong to get another girlfriend after your first crush?..

[Adam Jensen]

Ugh, I accidently voted yes because I'm a dumbass.

No, it's not wrong. It's an individual thing. Some people seek a new lover because they can't stand being lonely, some stay alone because they don't want to let go of their spouse. Neither one is right or wrong.

[Oerba Yun Fang]

there are also kids who feel exactly the opposite.

I know - I'm one of them. The only stepfather I've ever had, I've absolutely hated with all my being. That doesn't mean one shouldn't try. If my mother were happy with him I could put my feelings aside to let her be happy, but she wasn't. If she finds another man she's happy with, more power to her. Kids shouldn't be barring you from doing what you want to do with your life. They may not be happy about it but ultimately they'll find room.

[Karazee]

My college roommate married his girlfriend when they were both about 26. When they were both about 28, he died from a nasty form of cancer. She eventually remarried a few years later. I had no problems with her doing that at all, but to be honest, it's always bothered me a little bit. Not sure why, I obviously don't expect her to stay single forever... but for some reason I just never accepted it 100%.

[Splenda]

.........Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.....

I had something like this happen to me. My fiance died a few months before our wedding. It took me 12 yrs to kiss another woman.

A lot of people answering in this thread have no idea what true love is, nor how even the thought of being with someone new is repulsive for a long time. If I hadn´t been through it, I would probably be posting the same thing though.

I'm sorry for your loss.

But no one here is saying that you should go out and start sleeping around the day after- we're saying it's not wrong, should you- however many years down the road- want to find someone new.

[raechuul]

It's not wrong. But some people can bring themselves to do so, and some can't.

[Deleted]

If your spouse really thinks you shouldn't re-marry after he/she dies, he/she seriously needs to stop overestimating his/her importancy...

Really, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.