1. #2261
    Quote Originally Posted by Ebildays View Post
    I don't see how an "Opt Out" is sickening when a woman can abort a child if she chooses to. We can white wash abortion as giving women control over their bodies which it does but it also robs a potential child of life and for what reason? In most cases it is because the woman does does not want the potential child or cannot afford to have it. So when a woman aborts for those reasons it is okay because it is her body but if a man wants to "opt out" for those very same reason it is a bit sickening. Now, don't get me wrong because I am pro-choice but I still see abortion as taking a potential life away and for me I see giving men an "Opt Out' as sort of legal abortion but with less denying of life.

    Now if a woman chooses to keep her child she is making that choice knowing what pregnancy is and what is about. She knows fully well that she will not be getting anything from the man so if she wants to go it alone where is the problem? I see this no differently than a woman choosing to have a child with a man that already has children that he does not support. Don't be stupid enough to have sex with someone that will not support you both emotionally and financially in the event you become pregnant. Which is the same thing I say about men who don't use a condom, don't be stupid use a condom.

    The whole point of the thread is to get federal laws to change so that men can opt out of paying.
    It's a massive difference. When a man chooses to opt out. (Not sure that is even a choice) he wants to drop all responsibility of personal finance or emotional support and just being a stable parent. He wants no part of the child's life or does not want to pay any child support even though it would go directly to the child.

    If a woman opts out. She has go through an abortion. It's an amazing mental and emotional stress. It's one of the hardest times in a women s life's. For a man they can just say..Don't make my pay child Support.

    The problem is most women do not know how their situation will be. They may be doing very well and require no child support. However you cannot have a woman sign a contract saying she will not come after you for child support. It just does not work that way. Even if you were to write it down. I doubt it would even hold up in court because shes signing under intense pressure.

    Fact of the matter is while I understand your position. There is virtually almost nothing you can do to block a woman from getting child support if she wants to. Yes I'm going use the..you removed your pants so you should share in the responsibility. If you are that concerned make sure you are wearing a condom. Do not put the entire situation on her.

    But if a woman turns up preg. I find it very sickening so many men would abandon their responsibilities as a parent both as emotional and finance sense. You have a duty to tell any girl before you do anything how you feel in detail. I would assume not many women would be after you if you did that since most of these things happen in spur of moment.

  2. #2262
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    It's a massive difference. When a man chooses to opt out. (Not sure that is even a choice) he wants to drop all responsibility of personal finance or emotional support and just being a stable parent. He wants no part of the child's life or does not want to pay any child support even though it would go directly to the child.

    If a woman opts out. She has go through an abortion. It's an amazing mental and emotional stress. It's one of the hardest times in a women s life's. For a man they can just say..Don't make my pay child Support.

    The problem is most women do not know how their situation will be. They may be doing very well and require no child support. However you cannot have a woman sign a contract saying she will not come after you for child support. It just does not work that way. Even if you were to write it down. I doubt it would even hold up in court because shes signing under intense pressure.

    Fact of the matter is while I understand your position. There is virtually almost nothing you can do to block a woman from getting child support if she wants to. Yes I'm going use the..you removed your pants so you should share in the responsibility. If you are that concerned make sure you are wearing a condom. Do not put the entire situation on her.

    But if a woman turns up preg. I find it very sickening so many men would abandon their responsibilities as a parent both as emotional and finance sense. You have a duty to tell any girl before you do anything how you feel in detail. I would assume not many women would be after you if you did that since most of these things happen in spur of moment.
    All i have to say is this, you play up the abortion side and trivialize the male side.

    Some women regard having abortions as a part of life, ergo there life style. A male may also view dropping out as nothing more than good game, just as my father did (He also moved back to ireland and never assisted my mother, he's currently serving time also)

    But there are always two sides to everything, it's just hopelessly pointless to paint broad strokes of the sexes as a default dead beat dad. Or women who die at the thought of abortion.

    But i agree with your thinking of those shirking parent hood, i'll never forgive my father for leaving my mother with three kids.

  3. #2263
    Quote Originally Posted by Manakin View Post
    All i have to say is this, you play up the abortion side and trivialize the male side.

    Some women regard having abortions as a part of life, ergo there life style. A male may also view dropping out as nothing more than good game, just as my father did (He also moved back to ireland and never assisted my mother, he's currently serving time also)

    But there are always two sides to everything, it's just hopelessly pointless to paint broad strokes of the sexes as a default dead beat dad. Or women who die at the thought of abortion.

    But i agree with your thinking of those shirking parent hood, i'll never forgive my father for leaving my mother with three kids.
    The only reason I do that. Because the total lack of emotion in regards to females this thread has. It named "Boy this sure makes me want stop advocating Men's Rights" and the responses from men generally would like to opt out. Dropping all their responsibilities like that is a tad shocking.

    Having a kid is a life changing situation. Everything changes. If the father is not there in emotional or physically sense. I think providing some money to buy food for the child would not kill him. Of course there are many many fathers who are not dead beats. My own Father ended up paying Child Support to my family for a very long time.

    It just seems there is a total lack of appreciation for what the female is going through. People seem more focused on removing their rights rather then the actual welfare of the child.

  4. #2264
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    The only reason I do that. Because the total lack of emotion in regards to females this thread has. It named "Boy this sure makes me want stop advocating Men's Rights" and the responses from men generally would like to opt out. Dropping all their responsibilities like that is a tad shocking.

    Having a kid is a life changing situation. Everything changes. If the father is not there in emotional or physically sense. I think providing some money to buy food for the child would not kill him. Of course there are many many fathers who are not dead beats. My own Father ended up paying Child Support to my family for a very long time.

    It just seems there is a total lack of appreciation for what the female is going through. People seem more focused on removing their rights rather then the actual welfare of the child.
    I understand your point of view, and applaud you for staying patient in this thread.

    Regardless though, i concur on CSP. Some people just dont like to admit to there mistakes, and indeed end up being bitter at being reminded of it and attempt to discredit the people who campaign for it - or it just ends up in a contest of one ups.

    People are forgetting the child though, something i feel disappointed about.

  5. #2265
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Wafffles View Post
    Also, I'd like to point out that no one ever 'expects' to get an STD, especially while cheating. As if her natural inclination is to be like, "not only am I gonna cheat on my insufficient boyfriend, I'm gonna get the clap too! Just to shove it in his face! Ha!" and the only thing stopping her are your 'expectations' to the contrary.
    As I outlined in this post the only time this happens is with psychopaths.

    However it does happen! World-wide of HIV transmission. Do note, HIV is one of the many STDs in existence. Chlamydia, for example, is also a meanie. It can cause infertility.

  6. #2266
    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    The only reason I do that. Because the total lack of emotion in regards to females this thread has. It named "Boy this sure makes me want stop advocating Men's Rights" and the responses from men generally would like to opt out. Dropping all their responsibilities like that is a tad shocking.

    Having a kid is a life changing situation. Everything changes. If the father is not there in emotional or physically sense. I think providing some money to buy food for the child would not kill him. Of course there are many many fathers who are not dead beats. My own Father ended up paying Child Support to my family for a very long time.

    It just seems there is a total lack of appreciation for what the female is going through. People seem more focused on removing their rights rather then the actual welfare of the child.
    You're reading this wrong.

    Nobody is saying they WANT to opt out. What people are saying is: In the case that they wouldn't want children, they would like to have a choice not to want children even if things go wrong.
    And 'if things go wrong' constitutes TWO things: A: Contraception fails, followed by B: The woman decides to keep it even though the man doesn't want to.

    This is NOT the same as a father walking away from his family. This is NOT the same as a mother abandoning her children. This is about a decision made before a child is even born.

    Nobody should be allowed to just abandon their children without due cause and legal protocol. But everyone should be allowed to choose whether they WANT those children to begin with or not. And if SHE wants a child and HE doesn't, he cannot force her to remove it... And she shouldn't force him to stay.
    If HE wants the child, and SHE doesn't, then he cannot force her to keep it... And that's something that will remain the way it is for now because NO FAIR ALTERNATIVE EXISTS.
    Last edited by Stir; 2013-01-24 at 08:48 PM.

  7. #2267
    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    It's a massive difference. When a man chooses to opt out. (Not sure that is even a choice) he wants to drop all responsibility of personal finance or emotional support and just being a stable parent. He wants no part of the child's life or does not want to pay any child support even though it would go directly to the child.

    If a woman opts out. She has go through an abortion. It's an amazing mental and emotional stress. It's one of the hardest times in a women s life's. For a man they can just say..Don't make my pay child Support.

    The problem is most women do not know how their situation will be. They may be doing very well and require no child support. However you cannot have a woman sign a contract saying she will not come after you for child support. It just does not work that way. Even if you were to write it down. I doubt it would even hold up in court because shes signing under intense pressure.

    Fact of the matter is while I understand your position. There is virtually almost nothing you can do to block a woman from getting child support if she wants to. Yes I'm going use the..you removed your pants so you should share in the responsibility. If you are that concerned make sure you are wearing a condom. Do not put the entire situation on her.

    But if a woman turns up preg. I find it very sickening so many men would abandon their responsibilities as a parent both as emotional and finance sense. You have a duty to tell any girl before you do anything how you feel in detail. I would assume not many women would be after you if you did that since most of these things happen in spur of moment.
    No, being able to opt out is not a real choice but one that some men would like to see.

    For some an abortion is a hard time but for some it is a sigh of relief from a mental and emotional stressful situation. I am not willing to paint it so black and white because it is not for some one women abortion is as easy for them as getting an unwanted mole removed while for others it hunts them for the rest of their life.

    Now this may sound harsh and cold but the child needs no where plays a part in what I am proposing because there is no child. What there is a choice between to adults and if one adult is okay with being the sole support for their child where is the problem? Yes, situations change but that is life and it would be no different than a woman going to a sperm bank. Her situation can change as well but she is aware of that and has taken that into account before she made her choice.

    And like I have said before this is just an option that some men would like to see not something they can actually do.

    As a woman I don't find it sickening, what I find sickening is that they would hide this belief from women until an unwanted pregnancy happens. By that time the choice for the woman to start a relationship with the man has passed and she had become emotionally invested in someone that will not be a support system for her. In a perfect world both men and women would be on the same page but since this is not one I don't see a problem with having to compromise.

  8. #2268
    Quote Originally Posted by Ebildays View Post
    As a woman I don't find it sickening, what I find sickening is that they would hide this belief from women until an unwanted pregnancy happens. By that time the choice for the woman to start a relationship with the man has passed and she had become emotionally invested in someone that will not be a support system for her. In a perfect world both men and women would be on the same page but since this is not one I don't see a problem with having to compromise.
    I fully, completely, and totally agree with this. Just wanted to say. A +1 to you.

    Infracted.
    Last edited by mmoc58a2a4b64e; 2013-01-24 at 09:56 PM.

  9. #2269
    Quote Originally Posted by Ebildays View Post
    I want to start off by saying that divorce is rarely the fault of just one person. And there may be many factors that lead up to your parents divorce that you may not know about.
    Yeah, I've pretty much accepted that it's likely both my parents' faults for the divorce. Neither of them cheated; they just didn't get along well.

    Society does tell men that their job (worth) in life is to provide for a wife and children. It also tells men that they should be emotional or show weakness, because of this women are told (believe) that a man shows his love by his actions. Actions meaning how much he spends on her by taking her out to dinner, buying her nice things, and spending money on her in general. The more a man loves you the more he will spend on you, so by asking a man to buy you expensive things a woman can reinforce to herself how my a man loves her. The problem with this now is that women have their own money, can buy nice things for themselves and in some cases afford something better than a man can give her. So the actions by which men have been "told" to show their love and emotions by are not really needed by most women. Women now want to see a man's emotions and they want to see a man doing something that is normally woman's work like washing clothes or cooking dinner. But society still tells men that doing those things are some who wrong and not "manly" so it drives the disconnect between men and women even more.
    Funny thing is I actually do most of the cooking and the cleaning. It can be a bit of an annoyance sometimes, but it's worth the cuddles I get.

    But on point, I go by what I think is the most meaningful, not what is expensive. It's pretty much ingrained in people (or attempted at least) that it's the thought that counts, so it can be a bit confusing sometimes. I just get my gf something I know she wants, like last year for her birthday I got her the new pokemon game since she's a really big pokemon fan and it's one of the things we do together, and she enjoyed that quite a bit. I also remember for one Valentine's Day I made her a card and wrote in French telling her how much I love her, but she had forgotten what she learned in French so I had to translate it for her. I found that one pretty amusing.

    I think it's just more of the sense of obligation or perhaps expectation that I don't really like. I'll do something if I feel like it, which I pretty much always do, but a feeling of obligation just seems to take any sense of love out of gifts.

    I think the best group for men to look to for advice about male identity would be gay males. For the most part this group of men have left the traditional male identity of husband/father and made their own. We don't see gay males as worthless to society because they are not married or have children, now at one point people did I will admit. It is as if by being gay they have been able to shed not only ideas about male identity but gender roles as well.

    Now this is just my ideas on this issue and I am not saying they are fact even if it sounds like it.
    I'm pretty sure some gay guys are like this, though I can't really look to my gay friend for it since he's pretty much like a stereotypical girl. He wants to be spoiled rotten and taken out on fancy dates.

    On a side note some women did get pregnant on purpose but it is not to trapt a man into child support payments but due to the antiquated belief that child will keep a man in a relationship. So it is more to trapt a man into a relationship, which woman have been doing since......forever. It is nothing new or something that just came into popular fashion.
    Yeah, I think this is the main idea behind it. I can just think of old things like shotgun weddings where you are forced to marry the girl you get pregnant as perhaps enforcing this view. I'd just view getting pregnant on purpose and keeping the child against the partner's wishes as a huge breach of trust that basically would ruin any relationship.

  10. #2270
    The Unstoppable Force Mayhem's Avatar
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    just wanted to point out that "use woman for sex" was a missuse of language that happened because english isn´t my first language

    i´m not advocating man using woman for sex and nothing else, if some of you came to that conclusion, and if i read it right, some of you did, i can asure you that was not my intention

    greets and good night, read you all tomorrow
    Quote Originally Posted by ash
    So, look um, I'm not a grief counselor, but if it's any consolation, I have had to kill and bury loved ones before. A bunch of times actually.
    Quote Originally Posted by PC2 View Post
    I never said I was knowledge-able and I wouldn't even care if I was the least knowledge-able person and the biggest dumb-ass out of all 7.8 billion people on the planet.

  11. #2271
    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    Because I agree that as a basic human rights for women. They should be allowed to get finances from a child both people equally contributed to making that would make me a male feminist. It's basic human rights. A woman typically goes through nine months of hell to have the child. After that if the male decides to split. Like some other posters hinted they would like the option.

    What is wrong with a female getting money for the child. It's not going to her partying lifestyle. It's basic food and things for the child.
    9months of hell? you have to be kidding

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-24 at 05:09 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by DisposableHero View Post
    Yes but as you go up the income ladder your percentage of disposable income grows. I made my statement in full knowledge of the fact that lower income earners pay less child support. The fact remains, the poorer you are, the less you can afford to have anything taken away.

    Martin Brodeur's $132,000/year in child support at the time of the settlement represented less than 3% of his salary with the New Jersey Devils, not even considering endorsements, it likely barely registered in his take home pay and didn't change his lifestyle at all despite being $11,000/month. My father in law's settlement was closer to 7% of his income and he had nothing to spare. Its true he payed less because made less, but it hurt him a hell of a lot more than it hurt Mr. Brodeur, which was my point.
    What about Nas? pretty sure kelis made more money than him in the last 5 years and he still has to pay a crazy amount.

  12. #2272
    Quote Originally Posted by Rukentuts View Post
    Or they could just say no. People have actually said 'no' to sex before when there was no protection available.
    I just offer oral in that case.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-25 at 02:07 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    I am deeply disturbed by the number of men who actively believe Women Get Knocked up on purpose. You know you could always try wearing a condom if you are sincerely that worried about it. It's far more likely the man will knock the woman up on pure accident then her doing it on purpose. Again some men want to drop their responsibility off at the door and sign a little wavier reading no child support.

    So pretty much they want to have all the fun without the aftermath of the finances. It's seriously disturbing to read through some messages as some guys truly believe a women is out to poke holes in the condom. The Irony is the people posting this likely do not have kids of their own. Situations like that are rare much more common for a male to try to convince the female to have sex without the condom.
    I am deeply disturbed that you think congress should be a woman only club.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-25 at 02:09 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by FusedMass View Post
    Yeah any guy that supports some female basic right aka getting child support when they desperately need it. Are total and complete Feminists..also because they do not agree with you. Makes total and complete sense..
    lolwutttttttttttttt

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-25 at 02:16 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Manakin View Post
    I understand your point of view, and applaud you for staying patient in this thread.

    Regardless though, i concur on CSP. Some people just dont like to admit to there mistakes, and indeed end up being bitter at being reminded of it and attempt to discredit the people who campaign for it - or it just ends up in a contest of one ups.

    People are forgetting the child though, something i feel disappointed about.
    The problem is, many people here look at the females perspective PRE CHILD BIRTH, and only look at the mans situation AFTER THE CHILD IS BORN.

  13. #2273
    Ugh. This thread made me want to play The Tom Leykis Show on my Tunein. Thank you everyone. )

  14. #2274
    Quote Originally Posted by Spectral View Post
    Complete and total fiction. Where do people get this shit from?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JymN5yu-K_o

    Feminist.

  15. #2275
    The Lightbringer Kouki's Avatar
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    Im sure this comes as no suprise to most of europe russia lybia iraq

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