Would you ever date an slightly autistic person?

[Deleted]

I don't think i personally could. I thrive on emotional feedback: i guess i'm what could be called a needy person. A relationship with a person who can't catch the emotional clues or doesn't give clues about their own emotions would be a very sad relationship for me.

[Letmesleep]

I have no idea. I've only met one autistic person in my life and he was male. I suppose nothing is impossible; if they had qualities I look for and I found them physically attractive, I don't see why I wouldn't give them a chance. Being autistic isn't an automatic 'no' just like not being autistic isn't an automatic 'yes'.

[PizzaSHARK]

I think it'd depend heavily on the situation and specific person. I expect being with an autistic person would require a lot of additional time, energy, and patience that being with a "normal" person wouldn't, but if you really do care for them, I don't think that would be a barrier to entry.

Having kids would require more consideration - does my partner's autism prevent them from being able to handle kids safely and normally? I don't care about genetics, but if their condition makes them dangerous around babies, it might be a better choice to adopt a kid that's a little older than make some of our own.

[Senathor]

Preferably not.

[Deleted]

Some people, I'd bet, you wouldn't even notice they were autistic unless they told you.

Uh huh, the guy I worked with, it was pretty obvious from the start something was off with him. No sense of when it was appropriate to touch someone nor where it was appropriate to touch someone. I didn't know him closer than him just being some guy at the work yet he tried to touch me like I only let my boyfriend or really close friends do. He was just downright creepy, he didn't even understand where it was appropriate to touch someone.

[Atrea]

No girl as ever taken an interest in me and I was simply wondering peoples opinions on the matter.

Not to say that you aren't an interesting fellow - I don't really know you, after all.
However, something you need to consider: if you want a girl to be interested in you, you need to be, well, interesting.

Your sig leads me to believe you're kind of an abrasive person, which certainly doesn't weigh in your favour.
You probably spend a lot of time on your computer too, am I right?

These are not things that make ANYONE interesting.

Try picking a hobby you enjoy, and meeting people who also enjoy it. Go from there.

What I'm trying to say is, your disability may not necessarily be to blame.

[PizzaSHARK]

I see no reason for not dating someone autistic or otherwise challenged. A deaf person or blind person, autistic or physically handicapped person, I see no reason why not Some people, I'd bet, you wouldn't even notice they were autistic unless they told you.

I dunno man, autism doesn't seem like something that comes in many shades. Seems like it's either "definitely autistic" or "rainman autistic." I wouldn't listen to someone saying they're "very slightly autistic" unless it came from a reliable, accredited source (i.e. not internet self-diagnosis.)

[Deleted]

I've known a few people with asperger's syndrome (that is, mild autism-spectrum) and I'd say that it depends on the person.

I know one girl who's great fun to be around and who doesn't really have any obvious "issues", she's a bit quirky socially but so are lots of people. Of course, there are others who are absolutely hopeless, knew one "aspie pride" guy who never held a job and just spent all day every day playing video games and bitching about how "neurotypicals" were keeping him down and how he was really so much smarter than all these "neurotypicals".

[jahasafrat]

I don't inherently have any qualms about autism, I decide who I'm interested in on an individual basis.

My cousin overall is quite a looker, but she has a migratory goiter and tourettes. Yay or nay?

My first instinct is yay, but how big is this goiter and how much does it migrate?

[Atrea]

I dunno man, autism doesn't seem like something that comes in many shades. Seems like it's either "definitely autistic" or "rainman autistic." I wouldn't listen to someone saying they're "very slightly autistic" unless it came from a reliable, accredited source (i.e. not internet self-diagnosis.)

Yeah, it seems an all too common occurrence these days.

"I'm a shut-in that lacks social skills, and instead of owning up to it, and addressing why, I'm going to blame it on a vaguely-defined mental illness that I self-diagnosed after reading the Wikipedia article."

I always take claims of "slight autism" on the Internet with a grain of salt.

[whathump]

Uh huh, the guy I worked with, it was pretty obvious from the start something was off with him. No sense of when it was appropriate to touch someone nor where it was appropriate to touch someone. I didn't know him closer than him just being some guy at the work yet he tried to touch me like I only let my boyfriend or really close friends do. He was just downright creepy, he didn't even understand where it was appropriate to touch someone.

Sounds like he never learned to develop boundaries or social skills. Probably was sheltered or something, or no one ever bothered being blunt with him. Definitely sucks for the people having to deal with him.

[Deleted]

Autistic persons are as different as anyone else, so I wouldn't know about you personally, but the diagnosis itself wouldn't really stop me. I did date someone with Aspergers, he was just weird in some ways (as if I'm not, lol :P), that's all.

[Deleted]

I dunno man, autism doesn't seem like something that comes in many shades. Seems like it's either "definitely autistic" or "rainman autistic." I wouldn't listen to someone saying they're "very slightly autistic" unless it came from a reliable, accredited source (i.e. not internet self-diagnosis.)

Actually it does come in many shades.

I've known several individuals who had Asperger's or some other autism-spectrum disorder (professionally diagnosed) and there were pretty big differences between them.

On top of this it's also a matter of the individual's attitude toward it, some seem to use it as a crutch ("Oh, I don't have to give a fuck because I have Asperger's, now back to mah vidya n welfare") while with others they are perfectly well-balanced normal people who tiny oddities in their behavior (like the girl I mentioned in my previous post, the biggest quirks I've noticed in her is that she cares very little for the opinions of others and she doesn't quite seem to grasp the concept of "awkward silence" but rather looks at it as "phew, everyone stopped talking").

[Fus Ro Yay]

yes i would.

[Xanjori]

Sounds like he never learned to develop boundaries or social skills. Probably was sheltered or something, or no one ever bothered being blunt with him. Definitely sucks for the people having to deal with him.

It's not that simple for people with aspergers. My GF has been told multiple times how to act, but it doesn't help, if shes in a social situation she becomes easily confused and often "locks down". When there are a group of 3-4 people and talking she will just go silent and be unable to keep track of anything thats being said, its not that shes being rude its just that she actually cant help it.

[Ayarea]

Not thinking in labels, if I like a person I see them as a person with personality traits, not a disorder.

[whathump]

I know one girl who's great fun to be around and who doesn't really have any obvious "issues", she's a bit quirky socially but so are lots of people. Of course, there are others who are absolutely hopeless, knew one "aspie pride" guy who never held a job and just spent all day every day playing video games and bitching about how "neurotypicals" were keeping him down and how he was really so much smarter than all these "neurotypicals".

That guy would make me facepalm so hard if I knew him.

[Shagina]

It's called the autism spectrum for a reason, you can be anywhere on the scale. People completely on one side are "normal", people completely on the other side are Rainman. Anywhere in-between can have a few weak symptoms, a few strong symptoms, a lot of weak symptoms, etc. My doctor would not give me the Aspergers diagnosis because that would put me into special programs in school and he was afraid that would make things worse for me, rather than help. I have worked a lot on learning to read social cue's, making smalltalk, approaching new people and adapting to the people around me. I'm still not very good at it, but I function well enough that most people won't think it's anything more than general shyness. People are people, everyone got problems to deal with. A diagnosis (or lack of) won't make me judge a person, how they act will.

[whathump]

It's not that simple for people with aspergers. My GF has been told multiple times how to act, but it doesn't help, if shes in a social situation she becomes easily confused and often "locks down". When there are a group of 3-4 people and talking she will just go silent and be unable to keep track of anything thats being said, its not that shes being rude its just that she actually cant help it.

Maybe it's because I figured out that point about not touching people early on. But yeah, the exact same thing happens to me whenever I'm in a group like that. I end up feeling I can't get a word in or even then I wouldn't know what to say, so I just end up staying silent the whole time. Some skills I've never been able to learn, like body language or any other subtleties.

[PizzaSHARK]

I know one girl who's great fun to be around and who doesn't really have any obvious "issues", she's a bit quirky socially but so are lots of people.

So how is she even autistic, then? How are the doctors certain that her quirks are due to a variety of autism, rather than just a personality trait?