Should I go for this girl:

[Deleted]

Well, because it happened in the past, had nothing to do with him, and she doesn't owe him anything when it comes to her past.

So you would not ever judge anyone on their past, Because you werent a part of it and it has nothing to do with you?
Such a load of big bull, though i guess not for you.

[MuskiER]

That's always a terrible idea. Especially if the kids are all from different people.

I knew one once who was on number 3, it didn't last long at all because she refused to use any sort of birth control, saying it was "too expensive."

She was on kid #5 last I heard, all from different people.

Pretty sure kids are a lot more expensive per month, but fuck it, I'm not mathematician.

Not if its from one father? :/

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

So you would not ever judge anyone on their past, Because you werent a part of it and it has nothing to do with you?
Such a load of big bull, though i guess not for you.

Don't be stupid.

Things like THIS, THIS INSIGNIFICANT FUCKING THING, that doesn't have any bearing in a current relationship, unless she says she's going to continue doing it, then that's a whole other story.

If you spend your life worrying that you can't measure up to other men, I can see where this is a problem. Otherwise, it's not.

Must be rough for you, I guess.

---------- Post added 2013-01-26 at 11:00 AM ----------

Not if its from one father? :/

I did say "especially if," implying that it's always a terrible idea.

[Deleted]

Love how you assume LDS is a globally known abbreviation.

[Kisho]

Love how you assume LDS is a globally known abbreviation.

Yeah I have no idea what that means either.

So she did some 'weird' stuff a few years ago, big deal. It happens. She didn't know you back then so you have no right to worry about it. If you want to be with her, be with her. Trust her. Because if you can't trust her, then just walk away now. The relationship will go nowhere without simple trust.

Also, no, she's not a 'slut' because she's had a threesome. That's an utterly closed-minded thing to think, yet I unfortunately see that sort of thing from several replies already. The only thing that matters is this: do you want to be with her? Does she want to be with you? If yes to both, then work it out. Her past is just that: the past. Nothing more.

[Knight Gil]

Things like THIS, THIS INSIGNIFICANT FUCKING THING, that doesn't have any bearing in a current relationship, unless she says she's going to continue doing it, then that's a whole other story.

Just because something is past and has no bearing in a current relationship doesn't mean it isn't important or relevant. For example, would you date someone who has cheated in the past hoping that person wouldn't do it again? Not a very smart move. And while I'm not opposed to casual sex (as long as both parties know it's only casual sex) (and even though that's not my kind of thing) I understand why someone having threesomes or less than ordinary sex lives would turn some people off.

In a relationship, knowing who each other is matters. If your partner's past matters to you, but your partner refuses to let you know about his/her past, then you shouldn't be with that person in the first place. It isn't rocket science. It's a matter of basic compatibility.

I just wonder, would it matter if you would've had a threesome before?

Now this is a somewhat good point. Reading the OP's post, he looks something like a hypocrite.

Girl A: Girl A, not married and has slept with 4 different guys, one at a time, over 3 years.
Girl B: Girl B not married and has two threesomes over 3 years.

In the end both A and B have slept with 4 people. Who cares if it is one at a time or during a threesome?

However, this logic is silly

There is no -real- reason that attitudes towards male and female sexuality are different beyond cultural history and pregnancy/kid-looking-after stuff (not relevant here) - get over your gut feelings (which are normal) and use reason; Sex is sex, you might enjoy a threesome, a girl can too.

The core of this cultural reaction is essentially the same which says a guy who sleeps around is typically considered a legend, but a girl who sleeps around is typically considered a slut. Both are just enjoying themselves, and shouldn't be judged differently based on their gender.

Some people are into blondes. Some are into tall people. Some are into witty people. And so on. Why when it comes to sex, some people avoid acknowledging that people have the right to be into more conservative people (or the exact opposite)?

And it's not 100% true that a guy who sleeps around is a legend and a girl would be a slut. To a degree, yes, but not completely. There are many girls who get turned off by highly sexually active guys. And just like some guys congratulate other guys by going to bed with lots of women, so do some women, towards women.

[Deleted]

I don't see why her past sexual experiences matter.

[theWocky]

I have no idea why people are so friggin' hung up on what their partners did or didn't do prior to them getting hitched. After I got divorced, I shagged my brains out for about 10 years solid. Any women who has an issue with my past will soon be an "ex".

I also had at least 5 or so women who were consenting "shag" buddies.

Also, why all this "sacredness" on sex. It's just sex. Then again, I'm more open than most and very hedonistic in nature.

You know the weird things about "church" girls? I would take them home on the first date and they would have the same urges as any other girl. Of course, they would use the excuse that it couldn't work as I didn't have "Christian morals". Suited me fine, to be honest.

[Deleted]

I don't see why her past sexual experiences matter.

Same here. Past is the past with some limitations. If by other chance she is still doing it now, as in cheating on him would be a different story.

The limitations: If she has a "reputation" proven that she was very sexual active with multiple partners and she has the tendency to cheat and you are looking for a girlfriend to wife material then she might not be the girl. Some guys might get a kick out of it and enjoy it, but the vast majority won't. At least thats where I personal would draw a line.

[Rocko9]

Love how you assume LDS is a globally known abbreviation.

Yeah I have no idea what that means either.

[Church of the] Latter-day Saints. Mormons.

[Deleted]

so then your just looking for a girl to fool around with? then why does that matter? i mean if your at this point and you dont love her....

Love someone after a couple of weeks? I don't think you've ever loved someone if you think every girl you get attracted to and spend some time with is "love".

[Reeve]

*May contain explicit material* (I'll do my best to keep it clean, but get my point across)

As some may or may not know, my ex fiance broke us up 2 weeks before the wedding last summer and it was quite a low point in my life in the following months. I've been going on quite a few dates and trying to put my self out there to meet someone whose really compatible with me and my lifestyle.

I've been hanging around this new girl for a few weeks now and I think she has a good personality. I live in Utah with a lot of judgmental LDS peers (I'm also LDS, but don't live by the "standards" as most would put it). This girl has a bit of a past, like me, which is awesome cause she's way more open to the real world, real problems, and not just living in a happy-bubble-life (girls here will pass up dating someone because they don't go to church, had a drink, a smoke, sex, or if the guy came home early from one of those 2 year church mission things. Any monday-detail could be a deal breaker).

We're to the point where we are getting very physical and will continue on that path, and she is really someone I could be with. Earlier today however, I learned she's had a 3-some with 2 guys, 3 separate times a few years ago. 1 of the guys was the same all 3 times and would just invite a different buddy each time.

Now I don't want to jump to conclusions, otherwise I'm no better off than anyone else and honestly it's not my place to judge what she's been through. The thought of me dating or even marrying someone who's sucked down multiple dicks at the same time is just a little unsettling. I don't want to use the term "cum-bucket", but I trust you get my point. I also may not even care come due time and it won't matter at all...but hearing about it so recently makes it pretty fresh on my mind.

If you were in my same position, what would you do? Would you be ok if your spouse had multiple orgys with the opposite sex before you met? I could either stop our relationship from continuing that direction, have casual and meaningless sex with her, or try to actually date and court her...get to know her family and vice versa, all that jazz.

Lots of people have tried different things in different phases of their lives. It has nothing to do with you, or what she's like now, and is frankly not really your business. Enjoy her for who she is now instead of dwelling on what she's done in the past.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Just because something is past and has no bearing in a current relationship doesn't mean it isn't important or relevant. For example, would you date someone who has cheated in the past hoping that person wouldn't do it again? Not a very smart move. And while I'm not opposed to casual sex (as long as both parties know it's only casual sex) (and even though that's not my kind of thing) I understand why someone having threesomes or less than ordinary sex lives would turn some people off.

Has everyone gone completely fucking daft? Who's talking about cheating? I'm not. Is the OP? Upon further review, no.

Once again, I'm talking about THIS ONE FUCKING THING, THAT IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to the current relationship, barring her stating that she wants to continue inviting other fellas in on her romps.

Fuck me.

There are past things to consider. Does she have an STD? (Everyone should always be tested in any new relationship before going elbow deep) Does she swing around a sack full of crazy? Does she have a history of cheating?

This thing... reiterated, once again... THIS ONE THING THAT SHE DID YEARS BEFORE SHE EVEN KNEW THE OP THAT HAS NO BEARING ON THE CURRENT RELATIONSHIP... doesn't matter, unless you're an insecure mess, in which case she should dump you immediately, anyway.

[Rocko9]

You are clearly resenting this woman in much the same way the typically LDS resent all those who commit those mundane sins.

I ain't Mormon, but I wouldn't be in a relationship/marry a girl that has slept with a bunch of dudes (more than 2 is a bunch to me).

[Knight Gil]

Also, why all this "sacredness" on sex. It's just sex.

Believe it or not, some people (even those who don't go to church, or are atheists) see sex as more than entertainment, they see it as the creation or maintenance of a special physical and emotional (even spiritual) bond between two people, which they value. And there is a scientific basis to it, too: oxytoxin.

If sex is just sex for you, fine. Go on with it. If sex for someone else is a sacred thing, fine too. What I can't stand is people trying to impose their view of what sexuality and relationships should be on each other.

Has everyone gone completely fucking daft? Who's talking about cheating? I'm not. Is the OP? Upon further review, no.

I'm just giving an argument on why the past matters.

Oh, by the way, stop using caps to try to get your point across, and I might read the rest of your post.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

I ain't Mormon, but I wouldn't be in a relationship/marry a girl that has slept with a bunch of dudes (more than 2 is a bunch to me).

Well, unless you're a pedobear and try to hook 'em at 14, I have bad news for you.

---------- Post added 2013-01-26 at 11:58 AM ----------

If sex is just sex for you, fine. Go on with it. If sex for someone else is a sacred thing, fine too. What I can't stand is people trying to impose their view of what sexuality and relationships should be on each other.

Finally something in this thread I can agree with.

[Rocko9]

Well, unless you're a pedobear and try to hook 'em at 14, I have bad news for you.

/facepalm there are plenty of girls who don't like the idea of sleeping around

[orderschvank]

he wants an innocent girl apparently, GL lol

[Deleted]

he wants an innocent girl apparently, GL lol

There is a middle ground between innocent and having 2 cocks going at her at the same time. I would go with Silent Bob's advice.

[Luko]

I think Silent Bob has some words for you.



It's the best suggestion that comes to mind.

God damnit you beat me to it, lol. Totally only came here for that. (Stupid work in the morning)