What's your personal deal breaker in a relationship?

[Darkrulerxxx]

I'm referring to someone who has ceased to care about their appearance and fitness. That has a broad range of meaning, including weight gain, substantial loss of tone, and other subjective measures.

---------- Post added 2013-01-26 at 04:43 PM ----------



I recommend against dating an Evangelical then; they will try to convert you.



On the contrary, if someone really, truly, honestly believes that people don't share their faith are going to hell, there's no excuse for them not to do their level best to convert someone. Think about it - if you really, honestly believed that not converting someone would doom them for eternity, wouldn't you at least feel obligated to try?

Personally, I'm an atheist that's disinclined to be particularly tolerant of bad ideas that stem from faith, such as creationism and homophobia.

You're obviously not even remotely ready to comprehend marriage and the issues that fall behind it because by that time when you have invested over 30 years of your life married with your partner. issues like him/her being overweight or out of shape will not concern you so much, especially if you two have children.

I know this because i am married, and have been around with other married couples (counselor to married people)

---------- Post added 2013-01-27 at 09:48 AM ----------

Man this thread is depressing. people giving up relationships for absolutley minor flaws.

i agree, i could care less about it, only the root qualities such as personality and intelligence only affect my decision making

[Spectral]

You're obviously not even remotely ready to comprehend marriage and the issues that fall behind it because by that time when you have invested over 30 years of your life married with your partner. issues like him/her being overweight or out of shape will not concern you so much, especially if you two have children.

Not everyone wants children. Someone not sharing your values doesn't mean they don't comprehend marriage. Just because you have an out of shape wife and it doesn't bother you doesn't mean that everyone shares the same emotion.

I know this because i am married, and have been around with other married couples (counselor to married people)

Well shit, I must have never met any married people! Thanks for your brilliant insight.

i agree, i could care less about it, only the root qualities such as personality and intelligence only affect my decision making

Motivation to live a fitness oriented life style is a root quality.

[Deleted]

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[Deleted]

issues like him/her being overweight or out of shape will not concern you so much, especially if you two have children.

Actually issues like being overweight will concern me greatly. Unless they're one of the tiny percentage of people that have a valid medical reason - it outwardly displays a total disregard for their own health, the inability to say no to food and absolutely no drive to keep themselves fit. All terrible qualities I don't want passed onto my children.

[Myrrar]

You're obviously not even remotely ready to comprehend marriage and the issues that fall behind it because by that time when you have invested over 30 years of your life married with your partner. issues like him/her being overweight or out of shape will not concern you so much, especially if you two have children.

I know this because i am married, and have been around with other married couples (counselor to married people)[COLOR="red"]

That's not really fair or accurate.


If I was really interested in someone and they happened to be overweight it wouldn't be a deal breaker. But I like to hike, go camping, I live at theme parks, water parks and the beach in the summer...I'm active. If we had nothing in common because he was physically unable or didn't want to do those things we aren't compatible.

A lot of things change after you've been together for a very long time and establish a real adult relationship, but if during that time your partner starts disliking all the things you enjoy you grow apart. Being active and in shape is just like anything else. If 90% of your free time is either doing something you want to do or doing something your partner can't and isn't willing to do it's not a good relationship, no matter what the hobby is.

Plus, some people just really like to take care of themselves. Women who are constantly doing personal maintenance wouldn't want to date a slob. People who are really active and care about health and fitness wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't. Just the way it is, and it's not somehow a horrible thing.

[Garnier Fructis]

I just remembered two that I didn't list earlier, and I don't know how I could have forgotten. These are things that are such deal breakers they make my blood boil.

1. Loud people
2. People who think out loud to themselves

[Themius]

Smoking, overtly racist, extremely religious, drug addict, alcoholic. Two of these are redundant but I felt they needed to be separated.


The love of his life wouldn't put on weight.

Why? Because people never change?

[Mimi-KT]

Bad teeth for sure.

[Deleted]

Drama, I can't stand it. Also childish behaviour. A lack of sense of humor is a nono aswell (the line between the last 2 may be crossed in appropriate situations)

[Rukentuts]

Why? Because people never change?

And people divorce because they change.

[Spectral]

Why? Because people never change?

People that change basic, important qualities often cease to be compatible partners. I'd be disinclined to do stick with someone that decided that marriage was their queue to get fat.

[Raphtheone]

I see her doing the helicopter I'll walk out the door never to come back.

[Deleted]

breathing.
I prefer my dates to not be breathing.

[Angrybathtub]

Unintelligent, bad personal appearance, drugs (weed or whatever, I hate that shit to death), and reputation. I don't want to be in a relationship with a girl who was the high school or college cum-dumpster.

[Deleted]

Attitude problems, excessive use of drugs, being a real bitch, selfish, arrogant, that kinda thing is a big turn of

[Themius]

People that change basic, important qualities often cease to be compatible partners. I'd be disinclined to do stick with someone that decided that marriage was their queue to get fat.

People want what they want, but if one marries a person and then divorces them because they got out of shape, that's ridiculous. "I loved you but when you decided to not stay in shape anymore I decided I didn't love you anymore since that 1 aspect of you is now gone."

[zito]

"I loved you but when you decided to not stay in shape anymore I decided I didn't love you anymore since that 1 aspect of you is now gone."

Clearly they were in love with any fit body he/she could get his/her hands on and not the actual person.

In other words really shallow. Were all shallow but seriously that is just awful.

[detectivekr]

You're obviously not even remotely ready to comprehend marriage and the issues that fall behind it because by that time when you have invested over 30 years of your life married with your partner. issues like him/her being overweight or out of shape will not concern you so much, especially if you two have children.

I have to agree with this. Granted, I'm not married, but my concept of what marriage lines up with what you said. A lot of wedding vows I've heard include things like "through sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer," etc. Generally point being, this is a committed relationship where people will ride the highs and lows together.

If people are willing to just jump ship from a marriage over something superficial like weight gain, I have to wonder if they truly love each other, and if they should have even gotten married for that matter.

Maybe I am being too idealistic, and if that's the case, that might explain the high divorce rate. I guess, if people waited to get married until those vows were actually true, maybe there would be less marriages overall, but they'd be more meaningful and successful.

[Skarsguard]

Religion well there Religion and my lack of would probably do it in for me.

[Noah37]

If she doesn't let me in the backdoor... haha just kidding. If I can't have fun with someone. I love film, musics, plays, just everything in the sort of area. I like watching good films as well as bad ones and discussing all the aspects about it. So I guess we need to have similar interests with things.