how to stop feeling emotions

[Slummish]

Strangers on the internet with random advice > Paid professionals with qualifications and experience, and a perfect track record.

Riiiiiight?

I doubt I have a perfect track record, but the rest is spot on. Read the OP's response to me and then let me know what you think about my line of questioning...

---------- Post added 2013-01-28 at 10:27 AM ----------

I know theres pictures of me when i was four, before school when i was smiling
throughout school i was bullied, there really isnt a photo of me smiling until i graduated highschool,

You don't have to answer this really if you don't want to, but I would be curious to know (I'm not building a profile, it's merely for personal exploration)... How do you feel when you see news reports about incidents like Littleton, Colorado's Columbine High School or the Virginia Tech shootings?

Can you empathize with assailants that return to the schools where they were tortured and exact vengeance upon the perpetrators? Do you see a certain level of justification in acts of violence such as this?

[Stir]

You don't have to answer this really if you don't want to, but I would be curious to know (I'm not building a profile, it's merely for personal exploration)... How do you feel when you see news reports about incidents like Littleton, Colorado's Columbine High School or the Virginia Tech shootings?

Can you empathize with assailants that return to the schools where they were tortured and exact vengeance upon the perpetrators? Do you see a certain level of justification in acts of violence such as this?

That's rubbish reasoning. I think most people can sympathize with the shooters' motives (if they're not closing off their minds to them in an attempt to shield off their personal emotions from the truth of such horrible things; it's much safer, emotionally speaking, to point out 'bad guys' than it is accepting that the bad guys are often, if not usually, victims themselves), and therefore, with the emotional state of the shooters. I don't think many people can actually sympathize with the act. They're kind of related, but you're confusing anger with utter powerlessness leading to aggression. Sure; utter powerlessness can, and will, lead to anger (and can possibly result in aggression), but they're not entirely on the same level.

Of course there's a certain level of justification in acts like these. Anyone with half a mind would agree to that. It's just that the level of justification is by no means enough to actually go through with it, for most people.

[mvaliz]

Short answer: Don't try to "stop" feeling. You learn to understand how to USE your emotions.

Longer answer: Emotions, at their core, exist to notify you of something. Think of them as an "alert" function. When you get angry - instead of wallowing in that anger, quickly identify what it is that is making you angry - then take IMMEDIATE steps to fix that which is making you angry. Even a SMALL step will help quench the emotion ringing in your head. If you can't help it (a forum argument - for example) then go for a walk or do something else to make you regain some control of your life.

Emotional problems, particularly depression and anger, stem from feeling like your identity is being threatened or that you feel a very large loss of control of your life. The idea is to simply regain that control, and that can be achieved by doing anything as simple as going for a walk, to cleaning your house, to working on a hobby or even helping a friend/family/yourself.

[Ifeanychukwu]

Medication.

A million times no. I had anger management/depression issues years ago... I must have been prescribed every medication they had, nothing worked. What did work though was a change of scenery (moving to another city). I know moving may not be an option but you can start by trying to cut out everything that makes you angry. Like someone else above said, it's all about understanding what triggers the anger, then finding a way to deal with it. You've gotta do this on your own. Don't rely on medication.

[mvaliz]

Strangers on the internet with random advice > Paid professionals with qualifications and experience, and a perfect track record.

Riiiiiight?

You'd be surprised. Sometimes the simplest of minds can see what the professionals cannot - particularly if a problem isn't as severe as to need a professional. I've sadly learned this lesson through life. You'd think the profs know everything - but sometimes just SEEING what the problem is is more important than over-analyzing the problem. Many of the profs are just crammed so full of knowledge that they don't have any room to grow anymore or, worse, refuse to grow because they spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on that information and that shiny diploma that they don't want it to go "to waste".

Now, I'm NOT saying professionals are bad - most of them are great. But you honestly don't need to hire a professional repair man to replace your dryer belt in your dryer. You go to an professional when things are squarely way beyond your control. Going to a forum and internet-research is actually a logical first-step. If that fails, THEN consider a professional. We're in the information age - knowledge is ALL around us! And somebody who might've had the same problem as the OP might be able to share their experience with them. ^_^

[Nathiest]

Careless. ......................................

[kronpas]

Just throw it in here, dont know if anyone brought it up yet: try some Asian martial art classes - it doesnt only help you vent of anger/rage physically but also teaches you how to remain calm, composed so not to abuse your strength. Only if you want to pratice it seriously though, many people I ve met didnt even care about the mind training aspect :\

[Felicia]

Become a Vulcan.

This is the only solution.

But on a more serious note. I was gifted with my father's volatile temper, luckily I'm also extremely patient. Unlike him. So I found my self getting mad, and wanting to throttle most everything. Someone said it before, I find it easiest just to go do some manual labor when someone/something pisses me off. For me, it's cleaning. My husband knows when I'm mad because the house will be spotless, and the degree of cleanliness will show how mad I was.

Since I've been living with the parental units again for a few months, since I'm moving to Florida. I clean everyday, just to keep myself distracted.

But manual labor has been a temper saver for me :P

[Reeve]

Become a Vulcan.

Without the proper training, becoming a vulcan would just exacerbate the problem.

[Grummgug]

The definition of maturity is having control over your emotions. Immaturity is when emotions have control over you. Its a good thing to control your emotions. Probably the best way to train yourself to have an open mind about everything. Dont jump to conclusions. let a little doubt enter your thought process.

[Harpocrates]

participate in pon-farr every 7 years

[Haven]

Buddhism. Just read up on their techniques, they've had some practice. Also, read Paul Ekman's "The Nature of Emotion". He's done brilliant research on the subject, detailing how the emotions originate, what triggers them, what forms your predisposition to certain emotions, and how to control yourself better and be aware of your own state.

[Gritches]

You want to stop feeling emotions? Sounds like the easy way out.

Don't get me wrong; the easiest solutions are usually the best, but it's not really possible to stop feeling emotions completely and totally. Believe me, I've tried.

What's happened every time you've told someone about this? Odds are, almost everyone told you to see a psychiatrist. Weird, considering how many people have so many bad things to say about shrinks any other day of the week. But why would they give you such crappy advice?

The answer is simple - because, when given the opportunity, people will almost always take the path of least resistance. To pass the buck onto a psychiatrist takes a few seconds and *poof*, problem solved for all they know or care - because that's what's easiest for them.

Psychiatrists are BS. They'll try to help you for 45 minutes then write you a scrip and shuffle you out the door - because that's what's easiest for them.

If you go to any other established source of psychiatric support, they'll do the same shit as the psychiatrist for about 10 minutes, then tell you to see a psychiatrist - because, once again, it's what's easiest for them.

It isn't just psychiatric professionals either. I dare you go through your day with both eyes open and observe other people (even on tv) and just watch how almost any action anyone takes or fails to take is a result of the "path-of-least-resistance" mentality.

My point is: People WILL disappoint you every single time. It's not just because they're a-holes (well, lots are), it's because people are people.

Do NOT make the mistake of relying on them. They can't help you and neither can I. You have to help yourself.

One thing you mentioned that makes you angry is injustice. I've been there, and it's because bad shit happened to you that you did nothing to deserve, right? I'm telling you right now, if you don't take any other observation or piece of advice from this, just take this one: the feeling of injustice is the key.

Anger is a secondary emotion. Nothing just "makes" us angry; something frustrates us, which then makes us angry as the brain's reaction; something annoys us and makes us angry, etc.

The frustration caused by a recurring or constant sense of injustice will broil in your gut and rot your soul from the inside out.

The only way you'll get rid of it is to come to terms with the fact that the world is the way it is. It is a very tough pill to swallow. It's not a 180 degree turnaround, it's not easy, and it goes against everything that seems good and right.

But what happened, happened. You can be just as pissed off as you feel like being about it, but nothing you say or do or don't do is going to change that fact.

What's going to happen may or may not happen, but if you're 18-19 you ain't seen nothing yet, and that is a fact. There isn't tea and scones after every hurdle in life - there's just another hurdle that's even higher.

And finally, what's happening now is happening and is going to continue to happen. There is very little any of us wee peasants have control of in life, which is a sad but true fact.

Now, sit up, straighten out your back, and think of the people, places, and things in your life. Odds are, the things and people that make you angry aren't imaginary and they aren't opinions, which would make them facts. My point: facts are facts because facts do NOT change or cease to exist and ARE real.

So what are you going to do about these facts? Allow them to destroy you? Or are you going to confront them and stop being a passenger to your own emotions?

The choice is yours, and I hope I've at least given you someplace to start. Don't just sit down and hope for someone to come make things better; take charge, analyze your own mind, and don't throw your life away when you're perfectly capable of standing on your own two feet helping yourself.

Be strong.

[Spikeydeath]

I doubt I have a perfect track record, but the rest is spot on. Read the OP's response to me and then let me know what you think about my line of questioning...

---------- Post added 2013-01-28 at 10:27 AM ----------



You don't have to answer this really if you don't want to, but I would be curious to know (I'm not building a profile, it's merely for personal exploration)... How do you feel when you see news reports about incidents like Littleton, Colorado's Columbine High School or the Virginia Tech shootings?

Can you empathize with assailants that return to the schools where they were tortured and exact vengeance upon the perpetrators? Do you see a certain level of justification in acts of violence such as this?

I think its an awful thing that happened, murder is never an answer