A question for the guys

[Beach-Babe]

In recent events I have started to question what most guys refer to as the "brocode".

About 6 months ago my long term boyfriend (2 years) broke up with me, we have just started to casually chat again but there is still that awkwardness there. The other night I was at a mutually friends birthday, my ex didn't come however, his friends did. After a couple of drinks and it being quite late a lot of us ended up crashing the night. Like normal people call dibs on the couch or the air mattress and so on. I managed to get a couch which I was sharing with a close friend of my ex. Both of us being a bit drunk we ended up hooking up (not 100% sure who instigated it). This is where I am unclear on this so called "brocode", in the morning I was pulled aside by another mate saying it was a dog move and how dare I even think about doing that ever again, (people began to question it when they woke up and we were awake talking while some what cuddled up). This lead to the guys getting into an argument of you can't date someones ex and so on.

Since then we haven't spoken to each other even though it was a good night and we really hit it off.

So guys, and even girls if you have experience what is your opinion on this situation and was I in the wrong.

And no before anyone asks we aren't in highschool we are early to mid 20s

[TheBeardedOne]

most brocode types are oversized children, ignore them, they have nor right to tell two adults how to live

[Pull My Finger]

Why exactly did they have a problem with it? I don't quite get it.

[Pendulous]

If the people calling you out are that old, it sounds like they need to grow up, seriously. If people want to say there's these unwritten rules (well, I guess they are written now), fine, but they don't apply to everyone. Plus, six months. Who cares?

[PizzaSHARK]

They're being idiots.

[Zhangfei]

It was a silly move but the friend technically broke the "brocode" by making a move on you. You're not at fault for this. The only reason you could be is if, and this is likely, the friend of your ex is lying and saying you led him on and seduced him.

[vizzle]

They pulled you aside? About the bro-code? But you're a girl, right, or are you guys both males?

This really confuses me. Regardless of your gender though, it doesn't matter, you've been broken up with your ex long enough.

[Deleted]

There would be much more of a problem if it was only, say, a month instead of the six months. Also, the guy that told you it wa sa dog move should sound off and act like he's got a pair (unless he also chewed out the hookup, as anything else would be hypocritical).

[Valedus]

You're not at fault unless you did it out of spite or something immature like that, which you didn't. But... if he was a buddy of mine, I wouldn't be too happy. I wouldn't say that "brocode", which this is only one part of, is something that you grow out of in age. If your buddy has an issue with you banging his ex, don't do it. I'd have an issue with a buddy banging my ex, unless the breakup was messy and she was a complete bitch.

Edit: Whoops. mean't to say didn't.

[Rooflesstoofless]

Sounds more like one of them broke their own code, not you.

[vindicatorx]

this is a personal rule of mine I will not have sexual relations with a girl any of my friends have dated or slept with. Also, you not being a "bro" are not governed by the bro code. The friend you slept with however is and is in fact the one who violated the brocode.

[Itisamuh]

The bro code was broken by him. Friends aren't supposed to go after each others' ex's unless given the okay beforehand. As for you, no offense, but you'll probably be labeled a tramp by that group from now on just for getting it on with your ex's friend, even if the casual hook-up alone wouldn't do it. It's the same concept as a home wrecker, except instead of a family or marriage, it's a circle of friends you'll be setting against each other. Nobody wants the drama that can come from that. If your ex doesn't care, then it's all good I suppose if you don't mind random hook-ups, but you'll both be at fault if there's a problem.

[Evil Inside]

Technically the friend broke the code, not you. So you're in the clear.

[PizzaSHARK]

You're not at fault unless you did it out of spite or something immature like that, which you did. But... if he was a buddy of mine, I wouldn't be too happy. I wouldn't say that "brocode", which this is only one part of, is something that you grow out of in age. If your buddy has an issue with you banging his ex, don't do it. I'd have an issue with a buddy banging my ex, unless the breakup was messy and she was a complete bitch.

Why? You broke up with her, she ain't "yours." Why the jealousy?

[Julian Rayne]

I don't understand (or want to understand) dudebro culture. But it seems to me that he's blaming you for his "misdemeanors".

[WarpKnight]

You didn't break the brocode. But you might be seen as the vengeful ex type. Either way, I wouldn't get too worried about it, can't change what happened.

[Darthcullen]

Yeah just of personal preference, I never get together with my friend's ex's. Just a sort of subtle respect. If I really liked a girl that was an ex, then I would talk to my friends about it. Yes you will more than likely be labeled a tramp/easy hoe whatever, but honestly, you got drunk and slept with a guy on a couch.... you kinda brought it on yourself.

[zorkuus]

Technically the friend broke the code, not you. So you're in the clear.

This if anything. I don't care what my ex-girlfriends do but I'd prefer my friends not do it with them, and they propably agree.

[Valedus]

Why? You broke up with her, she ain't "yours." Why the jealousy?

Oh, I blame 2:20 AM. Thought she meant she broke up with him. Meh. Bedtime, lol.

[KOMO1211]

how else is the special bond of eskimo brother supposed to be formed