no good reason to get married these days

[Sy]

Everyone's different though, my wife needed that so I gave it to her, not every man and women need that showing of commitment.

isn't that what i just said?^^
it was what i meant to say, at least.

[Dasffion]

And thus, no one should get married. Promising to always love someone is akin to promising to always be afraid of them. Things change, you can not predict the future.

What? I don't know what you're saying here. I can most certainly say that I will never love anyone more than I love my wife. I'm not going to say that I might not be attracted to other people but I'm not going to leave my wife over them. So perhaps I worded it poorly. If you think you would ever leave your spouse for someone else you shouldn't be getting married.

[Hraklea]

...and stay with them forever. I'm on my second marriage...

You can't blame me for not getting the point of marriage, can you?

[Dasffion]

isn't that what i just said?^^
it was what i meant to say, at least.

You said that Marriage is telling god and the world, I said it's telling your spouse. Two completely different things.

[Kujako]

I can most certainly say that I will never love anyone more than I love my wife.

No, you really cant. Your wife may change, you may change, or you may meet someone else. Life is not as predictable as you seem to want it to be.

And if you could, then why do you need a legal contract with a penalty claus?

[Dasffion]

You can't blame me for not getting the point of marriage, can you?

Because my first wife was too young when we got married and she felt that she hadn't "lived life" so decided to cheat on me means that marriage is pointless? I don't think so. Admittedly we both rushed into that relationship a little too quickly. I've learned from my mistakes though.

---------- Post added 2013-02-18 at 01:50 PM ----------

No, you really cant. Your wife may change, you may change, or you may meet someone else. Life is not as predictable as you seem to want it to be.

And if you could, then why do you need a legal contract with a penalty claus?

Don't tell me what I can and can't do. I can tell you that I will never leave my wife. I made a commitment to her and I honor my commitments. I won't let anyone come between me and my wife. Life isn't predictable but I'm completely in control of my own actions.

I just told you that I don't need that legal contract "with a penalty clause", she needed it and since I love her I gave it to her.

[Spectral]

Because my first wife was too young when we got married and she felt that she hadn't "lived life" so decided to cheat on me means that marriage is pointless?

That this is so common does kind of invalidate the idea that marriage is a particularly useful way to demonstrate commitment.

[Kujako]

I can tell you that I will never leave my wife.

That's not the same thing as always loving her more then anyone else.

[Dasffion]

That's not the same thing as always loving her more then anyone else.

I suppose not but still, you don't know me, you don't know anything about me. You can't tell me that I'm not going to love my wife forever and I don't appreciate you saying that I might not.

[Kujako]

you don't know anything about me.

I can assume you are an ape like decedent of the homosapien family who can move freely through three dimensions but only linearly through the fourth, thus making you unable to predict the future.

[Spectral]

I suppose not but still, you don't know me, you don't know anything about me. You can't tell me that I'm not going to love my wife forever and I don't appreciate you saying that I might not.

But you did say you're on your second marriage. Sure, there's a great chance you'll remain married to your current wife for the rest of your life, but lots of people think that and then wind up divorced. I don't think it's really an indictment of anything other than that people are more certain of things than is warranted by evidence.

I can assume you are an ape like decedent of the homosapien family who can move freely through three dimensions but only linearly through the fourth, thus making you unable to predict the future.

This is a much more clever way to put it!

[Cthulhu 2020]

No, you really cant. Your wife may change, you may change, or you may meet someone else. Life is not as predictable as you seem to want it to be.

And if you could, then why do you need a legal contract with a penalty claus?

You seem very convinced that at best everyone changes and that women will take half of your money, and that at worst women just want to marry you so they can take half of your money. The only marriages I've known that have ended with the woman taking half of the man's money are on TV. Most people I know keep their assets separate but share them, or marry with some kind of prenuptial. Alimonies aren't nearly as bad as TV seems to have taught you. I've known some that have ended with brutal child support, but I actually know more guys that are living off of their wives than marriages that end in child support.

I have to wonder if people ever ponder why they're self proclaimed "forever alone". If I approached all of my relationships with such cynicism I don't think I'd ever be happy.

[Sy]

You said that Marriage is telling god and the world, I said it's telling your spouse. Two completely different things.

i disagree, because for some people marriage isn't needed at all for telling your loved one (and/or for feeling and trusting in their commitment).
you said yourself that you already did that, before you decided to marry because your wife felt different, since the celebration/definition of marriage is of big sentimental value to her.

[Hraklea]

...means that marriage is pointless?

"I can most certainly say that I will never love anyone more than I love my wife." [...] "Because my first wife was too young when we got married and she felt that she hadn't "lived life" so decided to cheat on me" [...] "we both rushed into that relationship a little too quickly"

But now you're sure! C'mon, man...

I don't want to be an smart @$$, but you're not helping your case at all... I don't see why I would make any sort of celebration about "staying with my gf forever" if my gf and I might not be with each other forever because we might change our minds.

[Kujako]

You seem very convinced that at best everyone changes...

Nope, I'm saying they can change, not that they will. If you love someone for your entire life, great, be with them. I just dont see the point in a contract. If its a tax thing, incorporate.

[Dasffion]

I can assume you are an ape like decedent of the homosapien family who can move freely through three dimensions but only linearly through the fourth, thus making you unable to predict the future.

So you can predict the future and say that I might fall in love with someone else? I don't think so. I know myself, I know how to control my emotions. I know that I love my wife and I'll never love anyone more than her. Since I have free will and control of myself I can pull myself out of situations where I might start to have feelings for someone else. Therefore I can tell you with utter confidence that I won't love anyone more than I love my wife.

[kurais]

Lol feminist natzi alert. No thanks I don't want to be a good little "drone"

Did you watch ANY of the video that was posted? This "femnazi" as you put it explained mens feelings succinctly and trashed all over the culture of modern women.

[Dasffion]

"I can most certainly say that I will never love anyone more than I love my wife." [...] "Because my first wife was too young when we got married and she felt that she hadn't "lived life" so decided to cheat on me" [...] "we both rushed into that relationship a little too quickly"

But now you're sure! C'mon, man...

I don't want to be an smart @$$, but you're not helping your case at all... I don't see why I would make any sort of celebration about "staying with my gf forever" if my gf and I might not be with each other forever because we might change our minds.

I like how you left out the part where I said I'VE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES. I did not rush into this marriage.

[Woeful]

I suppose not but still, you don't know me, you don't know anything about me. You can't tell me that I'm not going to love my wife forever and I don't appreciate you saying that I might not.

You're right we don't know you, and we can't know if you will love your wife forever.

Do you love grape jelly as much as you did when you were a kid? What will happen when you and her lives together change both of you, in possibly ways that you don't like. Lets say you experience a major health condition. You pull through, but now she treats you differently. I am being kind here.

Things change. You can't just make up your mind you are going to love someone for the rest of your life. Based on personal experience, I can say, that I don't love my wife the same day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year. The relationship grows, it expands in some ways and contracts in others. As it develops you change, and so does she. Eventually you are married to someone you can't stand. Someone who was once cool, but is now up tight over her job, her career, your health, the health and well being of your children. Frankly she might not be very likeable, let alone lovable.

Through this have you developed a core relationship that outlasts these hardships? I hope so brother. Cause if you do, you will realize that marriage and love are never straight lines, and what you love about her now is totally different than what you will love about her then.

Oh and lets hope that she feels the same way about you. Seriously. All your love doesn't mean dick if she bails on you.

[Gamdwelf]

You're right we don't know you, and we can't know if you will love your wife forever.

Do you love grape jelly as much as you did when you were a kid? What will happen when you and her lives together change both of you, in possibly ways that you don't like. Lets say you experience a major health condition. You pull through, but now she treats you differently. I am being kind here.

Things change. You can't just make up your mind you are going to love someone for the rest of your life. Based on personal experience, I can say, that I don't love my wife the same day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year. The relationship grows, it expands in some ways and contracts in others. As it develops you change, and so does she. Eventually you are married to someone you can't stand. Someone who was once cool, but is now up tight over her job, her career, your health, the health and well being of your children. Frankly she might not be very likeable, let alone lovable.

Through this have you developed a core relationship that outlasts these hardships? I hope so brother. Cause if you do, you will realize that marriage and love are never straight lines, and what you love about her now is totally different than what you will love about her then.

Oh and lets hope that she feels the same way about you. Seriously. All your love doesn't mean dick if she bails on you.

I like grape jelly as much as i did when I was a kid.