Romance in WoW

[Deleted]

Hi Guys my first post on here! I am currently researching the issue of romantic relationships in WoW for my dissertation at University about reality/virtual reality. As a player iv heard about these things and seen a few articles on it on various sites. I've made a few threads on other forum sites and thought i'd post on here due to its popularity and to increase exposure.

I just wondered if any of you guys have ever had a relationship in game and how it formed? was it in game only or do realtionships move in RL
if you havent had a realtionship would you ever consider or feel like having a one from the game?

I would really appreciate any help with the topic, hopefully you guys can help me out by sharing some thoughts or stories about this

Ps. As I'm writing my dissertation I would like to use your posts in my writing but will keep all names anonymous

---------- Post added 2013-03-03 at 06:44 PM ----------

Seems raiding and dungeons are coming up frequently in peoples responses, why do you guys think these are so good at contributing to relationship formation in WoW?

[Darsithis]

I'm not sure if you mean a relationship through the game and only through the game, or in real life. Mine was real life, and he got me into playing World of Warcraft.

[Deleted]

I'm not sure if you mean a relationship through the game and only through the game, or in real life. Mine was real life, and he got me into playing World of Warcraft.

I was initialy referring to relationships that form and develop in game, whether it ends there as an in game only romance or spills out into RL, you have raised a point I hadn't really thought of (and I can't believe i didn't), that being people who know each other already forming relationships through the game. Was it anything in particular about the game that contributed to the formation of your relationship? (if you don't mind me asking)

[phantomoftheopera]

Before my semester started her and I played quite often together and we ended up forming a bond. I realized I had feelings for her when I looked forward to our conversations since they were much more than WoW centered. WoW was sort of our virtual world where we could do things together. I told her how I felt, she felt the same way. This was a month ago, since then I have returned to class and her and I don't even play WoW often anymore, mostly chat on Skype, which is far more enjoyable. We write letters to each other and are pretty involved in each others daily life. Even though we realize it will be some time since we will be able to be together, we have decided it is worth the wait. I am not sure if that's what you are looking for, but you can message me any questions, I'll be happy to answer them.

[Hughes]

I was initialy referring to relationships that form and develop in game, whether it ends there as an in game only romance or spills out into RL, you have raised a point I hadn't really thought of (and I can't believe i didn't), that being people who know each other already forming relationships through the game. Was it anything in particular about the game that contributed to the formation of your relationship? (if you don't mind me asking)

This was a few years ago. I knew the girl because we had been in the same guild for a long time. Eventually, became good friends with her and some others and did a crap ton of instances in BC. Eventually, we started duoing quests (during the whole Sunwell thing) and it grew from there. She said she liked me, and we talked alot. Usually stayed up for hours talking to each other while playing WoW.

Unfortunately, things went downhill. My stupid jealousy over some of her friends (which all lived in the same area, RL friends, I was younger/dumber/insecure) caused the downfall. Eventually found out some things I wish I didn't about her personal life.

After that I did not speak to her for about a year, eventually we got back in touch, but strictly as friends. She has since quit WoW.

[Pyro1990]

I was initialy referring to relationships that form and develop in game, whether it ends there as an in game only romance or spills out into RL, you have raised a point I hadn't really thought of (and I can't believe i didn't), that being people who know each other already forming relationships through the game. Was it anything in particular about the game that contributed to the formation of your relationship? (if you don't mind me asking)

I met my current GF of more than 2 years in the game. We started out as good friends talking to each other all the time and playing together. It wasn't all to long before both of us had "more feelings" for each other but we were both to shy about it to act on it. Then eventually a little while after she broke up with her prior BF (maybe 1-2 months after) I worked up the courage to ask her out and we've been dating since.

[Pejo]

I believe my case will be outside of your dissertation as it did not begin romantically in game.

8 years ago, I met my lady in a ZG run that we were both invited to as a guild tryout. We weren't particularly close for a while, hell I didn't even know she was a girl until we did some guild ubrs runs on vent. After a while, we brcame friends in a smaller group and finally started talking on messenger. Later she was going shopping nearby me so I offered to meet up with her. Her friend and her came up and we hit it off. We did the long distance relationship for 5 years with some WoW in between. We got married 1.5 years ago. So yea, didn't start off romantically but ended up going that way.

[Deleted]

I believe my case will be outside of your dissertation as it did not begin romantically in game.

Quite the opposite ur story is great, any relation between the game and romance is relevant. Ur story has helped open up my research in ways i didn't expect which is always a good thing

[PuppetShowJustice]

So. I have a story but it's from a different MMO. I assume it's not welcome since everything above specifies WoW?

[Deleted]

So. I have a story but it's from a different MMO. I assume it's not welcome since everything above specifies WoW?

Ye my research is specifcally focused on WoW but it would be good if you shared anyway as it would help me generate some ideas on the subject

[Forsedar]

Five years ago, I met the girl I'm currently engaged to - through WoW.

It didn't start off romantic, or even one of the parties hitting on the other. It was just two people playing the game that happened to be in the same guild. We didn't get a long. She used me for dungeons and I used her to cure my boredom.

Now we live together (and still play). So yes, they do happen and CAN turn out well!

[Deleted]

I'm currently in a relationship (about 6-7 months now) with the Guild Leader of my first guild. Known her for about 6 years online and we were always pretty close.. but always purely friends. Then about 8 months ago we both went through some really shitty personal stuff and found support in eachother.. and here we are despite some difficulties (different country.. and a notable age difference).

The romantic part of the relationship started online (after talking one night in wow and swapping phone numbers we continued supporting eachother through WhatsApp and later Skype), and about 3 months ago we met up IRL and hit it off even better than we hoped for.. currently very happy .

Edit: To clarify on how our relationship currently works, she has a fulltime job and I work every other weekend (still studying but currently on halt because I was unable to find an internship), I have just come back from spending 5 weeks with her and am currently trying hard to switch some shifts around again so I can go again .

[Aspect of Death]

I would never try to form a relationship ingame, due to many reasons. One of the biggest problem would be that "she" would most likly live countrys away from me, and i would not be able to "be with her". And that would not work for me.
Even if i got "feelings" for someone who lived in another country, i wouldnt be able to meet her other than few times a year (as christmas, easter etc when i have vacation from university).
And another thing, dont think i would move to another country for a woman either^^
I have good female friends ingame, one of them i have been playing with since Vanilla, we were in the same guild then, and we still are. She is awesome, and we joke around, but i wouldnt make a move on her due to ^ those reasons.

[Darsithis]

I was initialy referring to relationships that form and develop in game, whether it ends there as an in game only romance or spills out into RL, you have raised a point I hadn't really thought of (and I can't believe i didn't), that being people who know each other already forming relationships through the game. Was it anything in particular about the game that contributed to the formation of your relationship? (if you don't mind me asking)

It gave us an activity to bond over, of course. We spent a great deal of our first few years together leveling characters and raiding in a 25 man raid team.

[DeadlyAccuracy]

My GF and I met ingame around 5 years ago (second half of TBC), we were introduced by some mutual ingame friends. At the time, my main char was MT in a guild that cleared all endgame content, however i was also playing around on a lower lvl char (first one i'd made when i first started playing) , while she was still lvling her first character to max lvl.

At first , while quite polite and making little jokes , we were kind of wary of opening up due to having numerous "bad" encounters with other players of the same nationality as us. In short time we started playing and talking more, even without the mutual friends present; we learned more and more about each other , told stories from our past - briefly put, we enjoyed spending time together in game, chatting and doing 5 man content in 2 , pvping , questing, anything really. We started opening up about stuff that was going on in every day life, confiding in one another and giving advice where appropriate, around that time we also talked for the first time outside WoW, through messenger,which helped us keep in touch when we didn't play. We continued like this for ~6 months , with odd days , sometimes a week, when we didn't have any contact , though many nights were spent together online, as good friends with mutual respect that cared and helped eachother cope better with life in general. I was also aware that she was in a long time relationship , that she was struggling to keep the relationship afloat, that she had a lot of things on her mind. If i had to make a summary of the situation i'd describe it as : 2 good friends, and at the same time damaged people, keeping eachother afloat , with WoW as a medium, something we had in common, as a "place" to explore together, something unreal but yet real .

Fastforward 6 months, she grew increasinly jaded in regards to the relationship she was in and the lonely struggle she was fighting and broke away from him, we began drawing closer and admitted to growing feelings about eachother. Add another month , we talked on the phone for the first time. Decided we wanted to meet IRL (we lived about 250km away) for the first time and see how it would go (aside from a few mug shots , sent for curiosity sake, we did not know how the other looked like! ).

We met on a cold and windy autumn day and trying to write something now, i know i wouldn't do justice to the emotions i felt at the time , being on the phone with her trying to spot each other, hearing the same sounds coming from her phone as the ones around me in the bus station , then seeing her and being able to hold her tight. We spent one day and a half together each week for about 4 months before we moved in together. Through good times ,and bad, we've been together for over 4 years now and i can wholeheartedly say that i haven't felt a deeper connection to anyone in my life. While writing all this , i occasionally looked at her sitting in bed and smiled at her -and i suppose posting an image of that smile along with the first paragraph would have been enough

Anyway, from the moment we moved in together we still played wow but seperately, though we plan to change that some time and nerd it out together again Hope this helped somehow

[Sweetpea]

I started playing in Vanilla and all along I've known of couples who met in the game and even got married. Being all, you know, open minded and stuff I just chalked it up to, "Well, that's kinda quirky and sweet." As a woman who has played since Vanilla I've been hit on by more male players than I could possibly keep track of. Everything from light and playful flirting to downright disturbing stalkerish behavior and everything in between. It may be partially due to the latter that I always resisted the notion of becoming romantically involved with someone (a man, most likely :-P ) that I met in game. There were other considerations as well, however. If he lived at a distance from me it would be a long-distance relationship...with someone I had not met face to face. I did not think I could establish the trust and closeness necessary to make the relationship meaningful and I am too old to have an interest in engaging in a faux romance for the fun of it. I had plenty of friends, of course, and I felt very close and affectionate to some of them. But romance was not a consideration.

And then I met "Ziv". It was part of the way through Cata and I'd already noted him as an intelligent and funny guy and an awesome player to boot. My guild had two 10m raiding groups and we were in different ones, but I saw enough of his performance in alt raids and the like to be impressed. And he was just so smart. And witty. And sarcastic. All traits I find most appealing in a man. Eventually, we started becoming friends and to my very great surprise I found myself developing a crush on him! Me! I was quite determined to ignore it, and flirtation was never a part of our friendship, but as time went on it became harder and harder to ignore.

I am not quite sure what point we started referring to ourselves as a "we", but it sort of gradually slipped in. The tipping point came when we were both so frustrated with poisonous guild drama that I finally made a "joke" that the pair of us should run away to another server. And so began the final leg of our unlikely journey. We began "jokingly" solidifying our "hypothetical" plans until it was clear that we weren't really joking. And so, of course, we had to have "the talk". Because one does not simply run off with someone without knowing if you are on the same page. After a very long conversation that lasted all night and into the next morning (he sorta had to call off work because of it >.> ) we were officially a "We". We planned our transfer and it wasn't just an escape anymore, now it was a romantic adventure. We informed our gm and a few other people and posted a goodbye in our guild forums and went forth to find a future together.

That was over a year ago and a great year it has been. Our relationship isn't perfect, no relationship ever is, and there were hurdles to overcome. I am very happy with him and fully confident that he feels the same way.

After lurking on this forum for ages, I finally broke down and made an account the other day. My username is his most commonly used pet name for me.

[Lenarific]

wow caused my divorce :P

[Zaelsino]

I've dabbled in it, but the only relationship worth mentioning paints both she and I as very bad people. >.>

After lurking on this forum for ages, I finally broke down and made an account the other day. My username is his most commonly used pet name for me.

Your stellar choice of avatar leads me to believe "Ziv" has fairly good taste.

[Deathpath]

I havent had any relationship on wow, but people flirt with my female toon. Then i play it on till i get free shit then i tell them im a dude.

[Splenda]

I have had 2 relationships that started in WoW, both carried over to real life. First one lasting 4.5 years, and the breakup was devastating. Second one has only been a few months but we get along better than the first.