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  1. #181
    The Unstoppable Force Bakis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RICH1471 View Post
    I guarantee they would hate me but things would get done very quickly, also, my new 6 week old baby rat has bigger balls than Piers Morgan.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, enjoying a beer and literally sprayed a mouth full at my keyboard when reading this


    Larger than my
    But soon after Mr Xi secured a third term, Apple released a new version of the feature in China, limiting its scope. Now Chinese users of iPhones and other Apple devices are restricted to a 10-minute window when receiving files from people who are not listed as a contact. After 10 minutes, users can only receive files from contacts.
    Apple did not explain why the update was first introduced in China, but over the years, the tech giant has been criticised for appeasing Beijing.

  2. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bakis View Post
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, enjoying a beer and literally sprayed a mouth full at my keyboard when reading this


    Larger than my
    I had a male rat with human sized balls, I am not kidding. I could tell the mood he was in just by the size of them, if they were normal size he was in a good mood, but if he was in a foul mood his balls would be the size of plumbs with the colour to match.
    Last edited by mmoca51a6f9f4d; 2013-03-25 at 06:56 PM.

  3. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyve View Post
    Last night I made a rather bold claim that if I was put into power, that within four years I would be able to turn around the United Kingdom (UK) from its current situation, and put us back on the path of prosperity, rather then austerity.
    That long?

    Economy:
    One of the first things I would do as Prime Minister is to visit all of our Creditors, Loan Providers, the International Monetary Fund & the World Bank and broker a deal that would see our interest rates lowered, and even frozen for the first four years of my term.
    UK interest rates currently appear to be low and the creditors have no reason to freeze or lower them even further. Doing so may therefore caue more hrarm than good as they wonder what you know that they don't.

    The second thing I would do is begin the process of totally restructuring the Taxation System. All Tax would now move to a V.A.T. system. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is an additional tax applied to certain products at the purchase. All Tax would be paid here, and no longer would the Government take their Tax cut directly from your Wage.
    VAT is too easy to avoid. Income tax isn't. You want a simple tax system? You want something akin to a Wealth tax, or a flat rate Income Tax that kicks in after the first 15-20k.

    The new tax system would also be a flat figure (Around 20%) meaning that overall the amount of tax people pay is drastically lower then what they do today.
    You will also need to calculate how much revenue you actually need as well.

    The two combinations of more money from work, and lower tax would give people more money to spend in local businesses and communities. Due to increased spending on the market, businesses and people begin to regain confidence in the system, and many can start to hire more workers, reducing the amount of people on Job Seekers.
    Many companies already have huge monetary reserves. They aren't spending. They aren't hiring.

    The Government would receive a smaller contribution (only marginally) from Taxes, but because of confidence in the market would grow, our credit rating would be restored to AAA allowing us to make even smaller repayments on any nation that refused to give us a interest freeze or suspension.
    Which would be all of them.

    Welfare, International Aid & Support:

    The current welfare system has bred entire generations of people who feel it is okay to scrounge off of the system, and do nothing for the money.
    True. The problem with this lot you aren't considering is that they are a tiny, miniscule portion of those on welfare. The government hypes them up because it makes changes much more acceptable to people. Its easier to say "We're making this change to encourage these few thousands of people to find work" than it is to say "We're making this change because we think these millions of people should actually choose between food, shelter and heat. They're poor - they should suffer".

    There's also the small factor that there often aren't the jobs available. If you have 5000 people out of work, and 50 jobs available...what then?

    Alternatively, people could sign onto Job Seekers Plus, a new system that allows people to earn £70 a week (£140 a fortnight) but they're required to work in their local community for 4 days a week. This would mean them painting fences, cleaning streets, clearing gum of the sidewalk, repainting road layouts, and other tasks that would improve the country, and the visual appeal.
    You mean...put all those people who actually have jobs doing all that work out of business?

    International Aid would not longer be safeguarded at 0.7% of our GDP which it currently is under the conservatives. We would cut all international aid to 0.0% and retain the 0.7% to fund better health programs, education and support for the sick and elderly.
    The International Aid funds improves visibility, allows for overseas trade and investment, helps improve security and often fills a moral need. Is it worthwhile spending money in Africa if it means you don't have to send in the troops or worrying about extremists rising up or opens up contacts and opportunties for trade and investment? If the overseas budget costs you 5$ but allows for $100 from trade and military savings, would that be a good investment?


    Immigration:

    Immigration is an important part of the community. The UK has been largely successful when we were tolerant of other cultures, but today the immigration system is to lenient.

    We'd close the borders to all immigrants immediately, including those traveling within the European Block. As a country our finances are stretched already with the people we have here now, and adding more into the country only makes it worse.
    Illegal. You'd be sued. You can't close the borders to EU citizens. Further, immigration is a good thing in many ways. Look at how foreign students affect universities and international relationships. And think of all the people who are foreigners who you actually want to come and live in your country. A full block is shortsighted.

    Immigrants would also be ineligible to receive Job Seekers or any other form of Welfare for 15 years after gaining their citizenship.
    Let them starve?

    Anyone who is an illegal immigrant would be deported immediately, despite their 'Human Rights' along with anyone found harbouring Illegal Immigrants.
    You'd deport your own citizens...where? You'd send people back to countries to be tortured and killed and it wouldn't bother you?


    We'd operate a system that allows more students from abroad to come into the U.K. at fairer prices on conditions that they work within the UK for several years in local areas of expertise, i.e.: Those training to be Doctors would need to work within the NHS for 4 years before being allowed to complete their qualification in full.
    You seriously have no clue how this would operate and like most of your policies overlook how the real world actually works. You wouldn't get 4 years of free work from these people. They'd simply head to the US or France or somewhere else.

    I'd love to know what some of you think about a few of these ideas, and feel free to ask any questions!
    Mostly seem to be quite bad and shortsighted.

    EJL

  4. #184
    The Unstoppable Force Bakis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RICH1471 View Post
    I had a male rat with human sized balls, I am not kidding. I could tell the mood he was in just by the size of them, if they were normal size he was in a good mood, but if he was in a foul mood his balls would be the size of plumbs with the colour to match.
    Guess we need to add "owner of a rat with testicular cancer" in addition to your stereotypical brit in the other thread
    But soon after Mr Xi secured a third term, Apple released a new version of the feature in China, limiting its scope. Now Chinese users of iPhones and other Apple devices are restricted to a 10-minute window when receiving files from people who are not listed as a contact. After 10 minutes, users can only receive files from contacts.
    Apple did not explain why the update was first introduced in China, but over the years, the tech giant has been criticised for appeasing Beijing.

  5. #185
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyve View Post
    Which, reminds me. I would implement a new voting system: Proportional Representation. You can Google it to find out more, but basically the percentage value of the vote earns the percentage value of the seats. If 10% of the people vote Liberal Democrat, then 10% of the seats on Parliament go to them!
    Proportional Representation has some major downsides.

    EJL

  6. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bakis View Post
    Guess we need to add "owner of a rat with testicular cancer" in addition to your stereotypical brit in the other thread
    I would recognise cancer, he just had bigger bollocks than me, I can admit that.

  7. #187
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    I think your overestimating yourself, a country can't be "fixed" that requires it to be broken to begin with (wich the UK obviously is not)
    Also I think its pretty laughable that you think you can "fix" it in 4 years, most politicians who claim things like that loose 75% of their voters in those 4 years.

    Still an impressive post, it has a few good idea's, most of wich I've seen in political policies all over the world right before the elections

  8. #188
    umm can we not post pictures of rat testicles?

    you'd get banned for posting something that looks a lot better >.>

  9. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by RICH1471 View Post
    I would recognise cancer, he just had bigger bollocks than me, I can admit that.
    Size doesn't matter, certainly not genitals (why would you want to have the weakest spot of your body be a big target?)

  10. #190
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    Quote Originally Posted by JfmC View Post
    Size doesn't matter, certainly not genitals (why would you want to have the weakest spot of your body be a big target?)
    This is true also, when I was a child my neighbour had a pet pig everyone called Billy Big Bollocks, one day my brother threw a stone that hit the pig square on the nuts causing it to go crazy and smash down the fence trying to get him.

  11. #191
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyve View Post
    Last night I made a rather bold claim that if I was put into power, that within four years I would be able to turn around the United Kingdom (UK) from its current situation, and put us back on the path of prosperity, rather then austerity.

    I've decided to lay down a few of my most basic concepts here, as I think it would be interesting to see the response from people, but of course I want to make a few points perfectly clear:

    • I'm not a nationalist in the true sense. I feel there is little to be proud of anymore, and I feel that with international forces, markets and trading, that boundary limitations are a rather primitive system, but I don't wish to abolish them.
    • My points are not racist, abusive, sexist or confrontational of anyone minority. My views are purely based on what I think would be best for the entire nation as a whole, in both the Short, Medium & Long Term. Where possible, I've stated my Short, Medium & Long Term views on certain areas.
    • None of my views are perfect. The scenarios I'll use are based on responses I would predict, as such different opinions will result in different scenarios and different outcomes, so i'll do my best (If you wish) to answer responses from different outcomes.
    • I'm not a Plan A kind of guy. I'll have Plan A through to Z. I'll change my stance, opinions and even beliefs based on the facts presented to me. If a policy of mine doesn't work, I wouldn't continue to enforce it through spite and staunch stupidity.

    With those few points aside, lets get onto the basics:

    Economy:

    The Economy is the life-blood of our country. As an Island our natural resources are rather limited and niche, so we would need a strong import and export function, as well as being an attractive place for businesses to set up.

    One of the first things I would do as Prime Minister is to visit all of our Creditors, Loan Providers, the International Monetary Fund & the World Bank and broker a deal that would see our interest rates lowered, and even frozen for the first four years of my term. This gap in repayments would give us time to enact several of our policies, and provide a series of reliefs for people in the U.K! It is important to note, that a lot of my policies and views are based on this action.

    The second thing I would do is begin the process of totally restructuring the Taxation System. All Tax would now move to a V.A.T. system. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is an additional tax applied to certain products at the purchase. All Tax would be paid here, and no longer would the Government take their Tax cut directly from your Wage.

    If you're earning £45,000 a year, under the new system you would take home every penny (Minus a few contributions perhaps, such as National Insurance), meaning you have more money to spend in your local community. The new tax system would also be a flat figure (Around 20%) meaning that overall the amount of tax people pay is drastically lower then what they do today.

    The two combinations of more money from work, and lower tax would give people more money to spend in local businesses and communities. Due to increased spending on the market, businesses and people begin to regain confidence in the system, and many can start to hire more workers, reducing the amount of people on Job Seekers.

    We would then also be able to cut down the amount of people working for HMRC as we would no longer need to monitor the taxes of individuals, but purely the income that businesses amount. We could also implement a law requiring all businesses to register, for a small fee of £120 generating a small contribution into the Treasury.

    The Government would receive a smaller contribution (only marginally) from Taxes, but because of confidence in the market would grow, our credit rating would be restored to AAA allowing us to make even smaller repayments on any nation that refused to give us a interest freeze or suspension.

    Welfare, International Aid & Support:

    The current welfare system has bred entire generations of people who feel it is okay to scrounge off of the system, and do nothing for the money. This would change with a radical redesign of the Job Seekers System.

    There would be a two-tiered system. People would be able to claim Job Seekers just as they do now, turn up once a fortnight, present their job search and receive a deposit in their bank account three days later. The current payment is £52 a week(or around about), but under the new system, the payment would be £40 a fortnight.

    Alternatively, people could sign onto Job Seekers Plus, a new system that allows people to earn £70 a week (£140 a fortnight) but they're required to work in their local community for 4 days a week. This would mean them painting fences, cleaning streets, clearing gum of the sidewalk, repainting road layouts, and other tasks that would improve the country, and the visual appeal.


    No more cracked walls, messy streets or unruly fields of mud, mess and trash.

    International Aid would not longer be safeguarded at 0.7% of our GDP which it currently is under the conservatives. We would cut all international aid to 0.0% and retain the 0.7% to fund better health programs, education and support for the sick and elderly.

    We would increase the funding (from the savings above) to those with mental disabilities, or other sicknesses. Day Centres where people with these issues would be re-opened, that allow them to attend a place once a week where they can meet with people, talk about their issues, get directed to the right support system and even (if needed) be given a small amount of supplies to get them through the week.

    Immigration:

    Immigration is an important part of the community. The UK has been largely successful when we were tolerant of other cultures, but today the immigration system is to lenient.

    We'd close the borders to all immigrants immediately, including those traveling within the European Block. As a country our finances are stretched already with the people we have here now, and adding more into the country only makes it worse.

    Immigrants would also be ineligible to receive Job Seekers or any other form of Welfare for 15 years after gaining their citizenship. Anyone who is an illegal immigrant would be deported immediately, despite their 'Human Rights' along with anyone found harbouring Illegal Immigrants.

    We'd operate a system that allows more students from abroad to come into the U.K. at fairer prices on conditions that they work within the UK for several years in local areas of expertise, i.e.: Those training to be Doctors would need to work within the NHS for 4 years before being allowed to complete their qualification in full.

    Alternatively, people would be allowed to emigrate to the UK as long as they had the funds to live for five years immediately available to them, or their skills are in demand within the UK, very similar to how Australia operates.

    These are but a few controversial, yet vital changes I would make. There are of course thousands of other changes, such as scrapping the entire MP Expense System, docking mass pay for MPs, securing our Infrastructure and enforcing better pricing on Public Transport with more investment or face compulsory purchases.

    I'd love to know what some of you think about a few of these ideas, and feel free to ask any questions!
    So for an extra £30 a week you are required to work four days a week doing jobs you would give to criminals? While it may look impressive on your CV, it feels a bit like slave labour to me.

  12. #192
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by RICH1471 View Post
    This is true also, when I was a child my neighbour had a pet pig everyone called Billy Big Bollocks, one day my brother threw a stone that hit the pig square on the nuts causing it to go crazy and smash down the fence trying to get him.
    This is now a thread about rat testicles. Compared to Thatcherism on crystal meth, this might be an improvement

  13. #193
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyve View Post
    Then I would be making it clear that it is not my party, but the ignorance and deliberate attempts of the other parties to sabotage our plans to restore power and credibility to the U.K. I would also make it clear to all how Labour had screwed over the country, revealing all the memos, facts and proof that what happened to the U.K. was a purposeful attempt to retain power by Brown, Blair, Balls and the rest of them.

    I would hold them personally accountable, and have them sentenced for High Treason against the Crown.

    Dictatorship yeah wonder what can go wrong with that, last time we saw someone try dictatorship on a grand scale in Europe we ended up with WWII

    ---------- Post added 2013-03-25 at 07:44 PM ----------

    All this bat shit crazy stuff can be found with the teabaggers as well just start up teabaggers of UK and you will be set. Just ask for a few millions from Koch i am sure they spend $$$ on bat shit crazy stuff like this gladly.

  14. #194
    This troll or just a person who has no idea about how the governments and EU for example works. Or the world for that matter?

  15. #195
    High Overlord Seme's Avatar
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    One of these days I would love to see a politician or political party stand up and say "We don't know what's best for everyone".

    Instead what we get is people like the OP who come along, assume they know best and anyone who objects is an idiot (or as they like to call them; "uninformed"). They'll have 4 or so years in control forcing through some items that serve their agenda, other items will be half implemented due to that annoying obstacle called the "opposition" and other items just wont happen as they were nothing more than campaign speak.

    After 4 or so years, you'll be out of office, the "opposition" will be in and will repeal what you did and start implementing their own items that serve their own agenda.

    And so the cycle continues.

    But one day, someone will come along and say "I don't know what's best for everyone, but I'm willing to listen to and try to do what's best for as many as we can" and we build from there...

  16. #196
    The Lightbringer Rend Blackhand's Avatar
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    I now know that rats and pigs can have huge, King Kong balls.

    Truly, this thread has been educational.

  17. #197
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    dont even know where to start.....you'd bankrupt us in less than a year, you'd never be able to implement any of that.

    Also, immigration is a net contributor ot the economy, ie, immigrants contribute more in than they take out with benefits. And there is a larger proportion of natives on benefits than the proportion of immigrants.

    Try reading less daily mail.

  18. #198
    Quote Originally Posted by Talen View Post
    You'd deport your own citizens...where? You'd send people back to countries to be tortured and killed and it wouldn't bother you?
    Why have any immigration regulation with this thinking? If a country undergoes enough hardship and turmoil, it's fine to open your floodgates to its citizenry despite having more than enough hardship/turmoil of your own to deal with? Sorry, but that's not how the real world works, for one who cites it in their defence.

  19. #199
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alenarien View Post
    Why have any immigration regulation with this thinking? If a country undergoes enough hardship and turmoil, it's fine to open your floodgates to its citizenry despite having more than enough hardship/turmoil of your own to deal with? Sorry, but that's not how the real world works, for one who cites it in their defence.
    Just for clarity, are you comparing people being tortured and killed in their home countries (see: Syria, Pakistan, Afghanistan etc) to people struggling to pay their Sky TV bill? Where in the UK is it common place for girls to be raped and shot simply for wanting to go to school?

    I think comparing the "hardship / turmoil" of people from these countries, to our first world problems is a little naive?

  20. #200
    I had to cringe a bit when reading "make UK more like Scandinavia" and then reading something so far removed from that in the OP.
    "In order to maintain a tolerant society, the society must be intolerant of intolerance." Paradox of tolerance

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