1. #1

    A friend of mine has stage 4 brain tumor

    Ive known this guy for 3 years through work we are good friends, he has been taking a week off work already and yesterday i found out that he has stage 4 brain tumor.

    The doctor said to him to expect the worse and i spoke to his wife and she said they gave him 6 weeks to live.
    But they will operate on him tomorrow, not to remove the tumor, but to try and give him more time.

    Do any of you guys know anything about brain tumors? or stage 4 cancers?
    I been reading about it online and i've found out that nobody has ever survived more than 2 years with a stage 4 brain tumor.

    i went to visit him yesterday and he was in good spirits, talking happily but i know deep down he knows time is almost up. But he has to put on a brave face for his family.
    Have any of you been through this before with a friend or loved one? What do i say to him? what do i do??

  2. #2
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    Ahh man that really sucks. I have never experienced anyone close to me getting cancer before but i can imagine how hard it must be for you (and his family). one of the things i would do is try to make him happy by doing activities with him that he enjoys without making it seem like you are doing it just because of his condition, in my experience i enjoying things allot more when i know people are not just trying to cheer me up, its weird buts it's just how i feel for some reason :P.

  3. #3
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    A friend of mine was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour and given 6 months to live, that was 3 years ago. Do not underestimate modern science or the will to survive.

  4. #4
    I had brain surgery for a possible tumor. Turned out not to be a tumor at all. Brain surgery itself was a huge deal. Taking an optimistic stance was critical to having the courage to face the procedure. Recovery and long term psychological impact in the aftermath was much harder.

    I hope for the very best outcomes for your friend.

  5. #5
    I am Murloc! Terahertz's Avatar
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    My grandma passed away half a year ago due to lung cancer, even though she quit smoking 2-3 years ago. She already had breast cancer before that, which she fortunately survived, but the lung cancer became too much for her.

    It's pretty hard to deal with. You can't really plan your feelings ahead. Only thing you can do is to stay happy around your friend, ask him what he wants to do and how he wants you to react. My grandma didn't want us to cry and she tried to stay humorous as long as she could. I don't know how a brain tumor will pack out, but when my grandma went to the hospital, she couldn't speak anymore, so be prepared for that and ask him stuff before that stage happens.

    When I went home, all I told my grandma was "tot ziens" which means "see you'. It was really hard for me to say that to be honest, but I didn't know what else to say.

  6. #6
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    Just don't go all morbid on him, he has a set amount of time to live not time to wait dying, keep up the positivity however hard it might get.

  7. #7
    Just act the way you always done. If there's something people hate when they are ill is when you change your personality for their sake. Like Pryre said pretty much. Good luck to you and your friend, this is horrible news for anyone .
    ~ stuff, the best thing ~

  8. #8
    The Forgettable Forgettable's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superstarz View Post
    Ive known this guy for 3 years through work we are good friends, he has been taking a week off work already and yesterday i found out that he has stage 4 brain tumor.

    The doctor said to him to expect the worse and i spoke to his wife and she said they gave him 6 weeks to live.
    But they will operate on him tomorrow, not to remove the tumor, but to try and give him more time.

    Do any of you guys know anything about brain tumors? or stage 4 cancers?
    I been reading about it online and i've found out that nobody has ever survived more than 2 years with a stage 4 brain tumor.

    i went to visit him yesterday and he was in good spirits, talking happily but i know deep down he knows time is almost up. But he has to put on a brave face for his family.
    Have any of you been through this before with a friend or loved one? What do i say to him? what do i do??
    Help him achieve his bucket list!

  9. #9
    The Insane Underverse's Avatar
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    There are many many many experimental therapies out there. I would suggest having him look for one, and enroll in a study asap. There is always a *chance* that your friend's immune system will start recognizing the tumor as foreign, as it should. But one should never rely on chance especially when that chance is so small.

    Oncolytic viruses especially show promise for brain tumors but I'm not sure they've entered mainline therapy yet.

    In short, if your friend does not want to give up, there are options. None of them are sure to work. But things aren't yet hopeless (at least from the description you gave).

  10. #10
    My aunt had a brain tumor taken out sometime last year. It wasn't as serious though. They knew about it for a while and watched it and finally decided it was time to take it out.

    Before the surgery she had a "head shaving party" since they were going to shave her head anyway. She had a bunch of friends and family over drinking beer and eating wings, and everyone was having fun. Then it was time to shave her head and once that started happening some of the girls started crying.

    It was like a month after the surgery and they noticed the cut on her head looked like it was probably infected, so she had to go back in and get that taken care of. My uncle said when she had to go back in the 2nd time it was much scarier then the first surgery.
    Last edited by grandpab; 2013-10-23 at 11:23 PM.

  11. #11
    The Lightbringer OzoAndIndi's Avatar
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    I'm sorry.. Just be there for him and be a good friend. I doubt he expects you to somehow know how to react or what to do, or able to do, other than just being present. I hope he gets to be one of the lucky ones who has a lot more time than what they suggest.

  12. #12
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    Better than a stage 5 tumor

  13. #13
    Herald of the Titans chrisberb's Avatar
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    Really sorry to hear that man. I had a High School friend who died of tumors all over (brain included) a few years back, he was 22 =\
    Just be there for him!

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by superstarz View Post
    Ive known this guy for 3 years through work we are good friends, he has been taking a week off work already and yesterday i found out that he has stage 4 brain tumor.

    The doctor said to him to expect the worse and i spoke to his wife and she said they gave him 6 weeks to live.
    But they will operate on him tomorrow, not to remove the tumor, but to try and give him more time.

    Do any of you guys know anything about brain tumors? or stage 4 cancers?
    I been reading about it online and i've found out that nobody has ever survived more than 2 years with a stage 4 brain tumor.

    i went to visit him yesterday and he was in good spirits, talking happily but i know deep down he knows time is almost up. But he has to put on a brave face for his family.
    Have any of you been through this before with a friend or loved one? What do i say to him? what do i do??
    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. The type of brain tumor will have a lot to do with his prognosis. Stage 4 is always obviously going to be bad. Do you know what type of cancer it is?

  15. #15
    A good friend of my uncle's was terminally ill with some sort of cancer (I forget which, and I've never met him personally) and was expected to die within a few days time...he is still alive today over two years later. There is always a chance...there is a chance the diagnosis was wrong, there is a chance he could indeed be given a couple more years time if not, and who knows, maybe there will be a new procedure to try by then, they come out with new shit all the time but the media never seems to report positive stuff like that. I've never been in this situation, personally, but the best thing you can do IMO is be there for him and be the good friend you have been all along. I really don't think there is such a thing as being too positive about him making it through, because even if he doesn't, it will be better for everyone if his final days aren't spent amongst people that are all doom and gloom. And again, it's not at all improbably from where I'm sitting that the doctor's prognosis could be at least partially wrong, doctors are wrong about shit all the time, for both better and for worse...but his situation can't get much worse. Sorry about your friend and I hope he sees it through.

  16. #16
    Deleted
    sounds to me like he is at peace with the inevitable conclusion to what he has.
    all that you can do now is be there for him, help him enjoy as much as possible what little time he has left.

  17. #17
    My Father in law died of this a few days before this past Christmas.
    The only advice I can tell you is to take advantage of any and all time you can with him.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Annapolis View Post
    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. The type of brain tumor will have a lot to do with his prognosis. Stage 4 is always obviously going to be bad. Do you know what type of cancer it is?
    Hi, i dont know what kind of cancer it is, we havent really spoken about it because everytime i visit his young children are there and he never speaks about it.
    but from what his wife and son says.. its the worse one possible. and drs are giving no hope

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by superstarz View Post
    Hi, i dont know what kind of cancer it is, we havent really spoken about it because everytime i visit his young children are there and he never speaks about it.
    but from what his wife and son says.. its the worse one possible. and drs are giving no hope
    The worst primary brain tumor is often considered glioblastoma multiforme. That might be what your friend has. This is a pretty good resource for information on it: http://www.braintumor.org/patients-f...ultiforme.html.

    I should say it isn't necessarily this, but GBM is known to hit quickly and have a prognosis of less than a year. Again, sorry about your friend :/.

  20. #20
    Banned JohnBrown1917's Avatar
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    I had a brain tumour(in the cerebellum, to be exact) when I was 14. Thankfully, I survived it with very minor brain damage.
    I still have to get a yearly MRI scan to make sure that it hasn't grown back.
    My mother also got cancer when I was young(not sure what stage), they did say it was terminal. But she decided to go for a experimental treatment, and she's still alive now, and has been out of the hospital for 9+ years now.



    As for how to treat your friend, just treat him like normal. Although I'm kinda bad at stuff like this myself. So I don't think I can give any good advice on this.

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