At what age did you stop seeking your parent's approval?

[Shinra1]

AT what point did you
a) stop seeking approval
b) stop fearing disapproval/rejection/abandonment?

[Krothar]

Do you ever?

I stopped asking permission to do certain things around the age of 17.

However, even at the age of 24, not living at home, I still like my dad to approve of what I'm doing. Might not stop be doing whatever I'm doing, but I'd prefer it if the important people in my life approve of whatever I'm doing.

For B - I don't think anyone ever 100% stops fearing rejection or abandonment. Might not effect everyone the same, but its still there.

[Warlord Booty]

I haven't to a certain extent. I'm young and I don't know what I'm doing half the time, so I like that I still have a decent line of communication with them and they've always been nurturing enough but firm enough that I do seek a level of approval and fear screwing up. Partially, it is due to working for my uncle while in school, so it's not just a throw away job, I actually want to do good, but also not sure if this is my career path.

[Shinra1]

I haven't to a certain extent. I'm young and I don't know what I'm doing half the time, so I like that I still have a decent line of communication with them and they've always been nurturing enough but firm enough that I do seek a level of approval and fear screwing up. Partially, it is due to working for my uncle while in school, so it's not just a throw away job, I actually want to do good, but also not sure if this is my career path.

I'm the same but I feel like I need to stop seeking approvable, a lot of my choices in my life have been for them. I want to be me.

[icausewipes]

12-16

/10 chars

[Shinra1]

12-16

/10 chars

How did you do it?


I'm finding it hard to move on or let it go.

[Thage]

When dear old dad decided a proper response to his midlife crisis was to beat the shit out of me on a daily basis.

[Kurioxan]

12-16.

Very earlier, but my parents always gave me high levels of autonomy and had a good education from their part i believe.

[Catta]

I dont do much of what I do to gain their approval but I like when what I do gains their approval - my line of study for example.

[Deleted]

I stopped when I was 16 and realised I made a terrible mistake going for a school and direction my dad approved. If I didn't listen I would've been better equipped and would've gotten my bachelors degree... wasted so many years...

[Shinra1]

When dear old dad decided a proper response to his midlife crisis was to beat the shit out of me on a daily basis.

Where was your mum?


And I'm sorry to hear that.

[Zafire]

I was 16 when I basically started doing whatever I wanted (Coming home at 2am on school nights, etc), but they wouldn't let me fly to California until I was 18. So I said 16-20.

[Thage]

Where was your mum?

Same situation I was in, mostly, 'til one day she had enough and got the cops on him.

[Primernova]

Never sought it.

I seek approval from no one.

[Shinra1]

Same situation I was in, mostly, 'til one day she had enough and got the cops on him.

Good for her and I'm glad it worked out for you. I knew a guy once who was in a similar spot to you only his mum failed to reach the same epiphany yours did and eventually she paid for it with her life. Very saddening indeed...

- - - Updated - - -

Never sought it.

I seek approval from no one.

BSBSBSBSBSBBSBSBSBSBBSBSBSBSBBS

[Deleted]

14 - 15 if I remember correctly.

But they didn't approve of anything I did because I was a shitbag at the time.

[Deleted]

My parents are terrible people, they should seek my approval instead. As it stands though I have not seen them in years.

[Rob D]

I might say your question is a big vague.
Asking the parents approval for what? I mean I was hoping they would approve the woman I planned to marry (they did), that they approved of me leaving them to move into the USA (they at least accepted it as something I had to decide on), but otherwise... Most people will continue to hope their parents approve of certain things until the parents die. And even after that they might wonder if the now deceased parent would approve of that.
Also I never feared rejection or abandonment from my parents. Disapproval of certain choices would be the same as approval, that it might never stop.

But as I said, your question is very vague. Or I am simply too tired to really comprehend it.
If you mean at what age I started to not seek my parent's approval for all things, then it might be in my early teens, where instead of asking my parents if I can go out, I'd just tell them. Or mid teen when I just had to call them to inform them that I would stay overnight with a friend, instead of asking them if I could.

[Shinra1]

I might say your question is a big vague.
Asking the parents approval for what? I mean I was hoping they would approve the woman I planned to marry (they did), that they approved of me leaving them to move into the USA (they at least accepted it as something I had to decide on), but otherwise... Most people will continue to hope their parents approve of certain things until the parents die. And even after that they might wonder if the now deceased parent would approve of that.
Also I never feared rejection or abandonment from my parents. Disapproval of certain choices would be the same as approval, that it might never stop.

But as I said, your question is very vague. Or I am simply too tired to really comprehend it.
If you mean at what age I started to not seek my parent's approval for all things, then it might be in my early teens, where instead of asking my parents if I can go out, I'd just tell them. Or mid teen when I just had to call them to inform them that I would stay overnight with a friend, instead of asking them if I could.

Approval for important decisions like job or degree course. In your example about your would-be wife, would you have severed ties with them had they rejected her?

[Chirri]

a) I dunno, 12-16?
b) ...younger than your poll offers

A's awkward though, as I'll always want my parents to approve/be proud of my choices, but their acceptance or rejection of my choices doesn't factor into my decisions and hasn't for a very long time. Which I guess ties into B, because the whole question sounds like it's one wrapped in actual, honest fear of rejection, and a parental love that comes only with lots and lots of qualifiers which is utterly alien to the way I was raised.