Child Bride Kills Husband and his 3 buddies

[Ehrenpanzer]

How many times do I have to paste this?

Arranged marriage should not be confused with the practice of forced marriage such as vani. In an arranged marriage, while the meeting of the spouses is arranged by family members, relatives or friends, the spouses agree of their own free will to marry. By contrast, in a forced marriage, one or both spouses are coerced into the marriage - the union takes place without their freely given consent (under duress, threats, psychological pressure etc).

If the spouses aren't free to say no or yes, then it is, by definition, a forced marriage and not an arranged marriage.

Not at all..in fact arranged marriages have been split into 4 different groups


-parents or guardians select, the individuals are neither consulted nor have any say before the marriage (forced arranged marriage)
-parents or guardians select, then the individuals are consulted, who consider and consent, and each individual has the power to refuse; sometimes, the individuals meet - in family setting or privately - before engagement and marriage as in shidduch custom among Orthodox Jews
-individuals select, then parents or guardians are consulted, who consider and consent, and parents have the power to refuse
-individuals select, the parents or guardians are neither consulted nor have any say before the marriage (autonomous marriage)

[Dragoncurry]

HAHAHAH OWNED!!! Get em girl!

[Destruktion]

Death sucks, but this seems to have been justified.

[Deleted]

Is your MO trying to drive people into a fit of rage by pretending to not understand them? Because again, i agree with you and what you are linking, however i condensed a paragraph into two lines.

You say you agree with me but say:

I agree. This situation in this story is an Arranged Marriage.

Yeah, no. You don't agree with me then since it is a forced marriage, not arranged.

[King Shark]

You don't understand.

In a forced marriage The child is forced to marry someone else.
In an Arranged marriage, the child is forced to marry someone else.

In both cases, the child is forced to marry someone else, however a Forced marriage is the girl's family does not consent to the marriage or they are coerced into the marriage whereas in an Arrange marriage, the girl is forced to marry the guy and both the parents of the guy and the girl agree to the union.
The problem is with the wording of the article.

Well then read mine, because the wording is crystal clear.

[Mjau]

Look. I can see that you are a nice guy and you are approaching this from a sincere place in your heart.

However your morals do not apply here. Nor do top layer objective morals such as "killing is bad" or "Rape is bad".

The society that you are looking in on has a different set of morals and a different set of expectations. You really don't seem to be understanding that. In her society, that is the way 50% of marriages are made. In her town, that is the way 100% of the marriages are made. It is, within her society, a social expectation as a female, to look forward to who she's going to be paired with and maybe hope that its someone that she would love.

I do not agree with her society. I do not agree with her societal expectations. However it does not matter what i think about the situation. My opinion does not change reality.

She, within the context of her society, acted out of line and committed murder.

Let me try to put this into a similar situation using western situations and morals.

A girl and a boy fell in love. At this point in their life they are living together. At a point the boy proposes to the girl. She agrees. Later that same night she murders him. Her reason was, "He forced me into a situation where the only possible answer was yes because if i said no he would of kicked me out. I don't have a job and i have no family to go to."

She is absolutely 100% correct with what she said. However the guy did absolutely nothing wrong and he fully conformed to societal grounds. Maybe there is some future alien society they have a morality where you should not force a woman into a situation like that, however who are they to say that the woman was right in this case?

My hypothetical example is more than likely just as stupid to you, as the concept of the real case to a lot of Nigerians.

No I get that. But she didn't want to be a part of it so she did something about it. Wether she wanted to make a statement or not, I think she did something good by standing up. There are probably many more in her situation. How are things ever going to change if everyone accepts everything in their life because of traditions and society. How far back would the world be if people always just went a long with stuff, no matter how unhappy they were.

My morals very much apply here because this is about our views on it. Since I'm not nigerian or a part of that society my view is that it is disgusting to force someone into a marriage. My opinion is that murder is also wrong however her situation somewhat justified it. I don't agree with how they treated her.

[-aiko-]

You don't understand.

In a forced marriage The child is forced to marry someone else.
In an Arranged marriage, the child is forced to marry someone else.

No, in an arranged marriage the two are given a choice. For example, an o-miai in Japanese tradition has family members choose potential mates. It is up to the man and woman to agree to the marriage though. There might be cultures that call forcing a child to marry an 'arranged marriage' but what do we then call an o-miai if it is not an arranged or forced marriage with your definition?

[Voodoou]

I was just watching a few documentaries on this exact subject.. you know how you watch one and youtube or netflix says "hey you must want to watch this one too!".. Each country that has a problem with child brides has their own reason why and if I remember correctly in Nigeria its thought that having sex with a virgin can cure aides just like in Victorian England it was thought that having sex with a virgin could cure syphilis..

This is a very sad situation but in most places it is SLOWLY improving, even if its a handful of girls running away to the authories(think that was in India or Pakistan, I forget) when it is actually illegal.

As for this girl murdering people.. I dont agree with that. I think she could have run away but that may not solve the problem either.

[-aiko-]

I see the cause of misunderstanding.

In a lot of African Cultures, Arranged Marriage and Forced Marriage are judged by completely different criteria. It is not left to the decision of the girl, but to the family, however it is so normalized that the girl usually never disagrees in that situation.

The definitions we need to attach are 'global', if you will. This would 'globally' be recognized as a forced marriage, because the child was left no choice. Despite what the Africans would call it or think. I guess I can see some confusion there.

The family can all but "force" the two... Im sure you have met Smothers before.

Sure, yeah. There can be some heavy influence like political, social and family pressure. And smothers.

[-aiko-]

While i agree with what you said and i do see the need for global definitions for most terms, i hope you can appreciate how insulting it can be from a lot of African culture's standpoint to be told that having a joint union between two families is the exact same thing as essentially selling their daughter into slavery against their (The Family's) will.

Hopefully this helps them realize that neither practice is acceptable.

[Hooked]

I think a lot of people just don't understand how brutal life in Nigeria is. Google "Jungle Justice" or "Nigerian necklacing" and look at the images. This is a country so scary, living there would be a nightmare. I think forced marriages pale in comparison to the other atrocities committed there. They take great joy in other peoples suffering.

[Deleted]

Would do the same probably. Women are not worth shit in Nigeria, they are treated like property, they can be sold and traded like property.Run away? Where do you want her to go, to die in the jungle or to be forced to prostitute herself? Such marriages are not illegal in Nigeria, no authority would take her in and take care of her.

They did not leave her any choice like "Mom, Dad I don''t want to be married to a guy whom I don't even love!"Unfortunately, the bride will probably be killed.But kudos to her for fighting back. And yes, I defend her. Pushed to the limits she stood up with the only means she had available.

[ShimmerSwirl]

Sorry, but it is the case in a lot of cases. It's not as extreme as in the west, but half the shit girls grow up watching (disney movies since forever) just teach you that your lot in life is to find a prince and marry him and make babies and live happily ever after under his bootheel.

And yep, a lot of things are bad for men, but all of the things you just listed are a result of the patriarchy - which is a system of oppression implemented by men. Just, occasionally it bites back against men. That doesn't mean that the patriarchy and oppression of women isn't a real thing.

Funny how in all those Disney movies the men go to extraordinary lengths to find these princesses, pamper them, love them, fight for them and die for them. If you're suggesting women do not want that kind of devotion and commitment, I don't know what to tell you. Does a 9-5 office job in "the mans world" sound better to you than that?

[Aphrel]

Id love to have more info but judging by what is said in the article:
"The suspect confessed to committing the crime and said she did it because she was forced to marry a man she did not love,"
i could have understood murdering some1 who where abusing you or hurt you but murering some1 because you didnt love them? and his m8s who were inncent bystanders?!

throw this girl in jail and let her rot imo, while we cant know for sure if her husband misstreated her we can be pretty sure his friends hadnt hurt her.. yet she had no problem murdering them aswell and that alone should warrant a harsh punishment.

[Hooked]

Id love to have more info but judging by what is said in the article:
"The suspect confessed to committing the crime and said she did it because she was forced to marry a man she did not love,"
i could have understood murdering some1 who where abusing you or hurt you but murering some1 because you didnt love them? and his m8s who were inncent bystanders?!

throw this girl in jail and let her rot imo, while we cant know for sure if her husband misstreated her we can be pretty sure his friends hadnt hurt her.. yet she had no problem murdering them aswell and that alone should warrant a harsh punishment.

Hmmm maybe you don't understand this is Nigeria. She wont be thrown in a cell, she will be dragged out, stripped naked, beaten with sticks, have a tire filled with gas put around her neck, and be given a match. They will then shove a broken bottle up her vagina and force her to light herself on fire. After all that she will have her head crushed in by a giant boulder and dragged around the village for all to see. That's jungle justice, that's how they do in Nigeria.

[dlhak]

Fox News ? Sorry, pass.

[OzoAndIndi]

Well, I won't condone killing people, but do we even know the whole story. Some of these kids are abused, some get handed over to people who are sick individuals.

It is a sad world when it is these young kids themselves who have to take it into their own hands to try to create change in these kinds of societies. Like the kid in this video from last year. I can't imagine ever being able to take that on the age of 11 and being that outspoken. The outspoken ones are the kids that will someday change the world for the better.




In some cases... yeah, it could be like your parent's creepy friend who's always been a bit inappropriate toward you when ever they are at your parent's home and your parents agree one day to marry you off to the creep in return for money. I can see how a kid might do something desperate if it's the only solution they can come up with in their young mind.

[Kalyyn]

I hope she learned a lesson here. When in doubt, always add more poison. Could have gotten the other 10.
Like Machiavelli said, if you're going to cause someone injury, make it so severe that they can never retaliate.

[Varyk]

So you do not believe that a man or woman has the right to defend themselves from rape or even death?

You are completely missing my point, I am simply acknowledging that she murdered 4 people, I'm not condoning her marriage, or qualifying her situation in any way. I didn't see anything about rape, but that's besides the point.