Funniest thing you've heard a non english speaker say?

[Deleted]

Know any people that don't speak English that well? sometimes it makes for some truly hilarious sentences. When I was playing Anarchy Online a long time ago, I met a person from Romania (at least I think that's where he was from), he didn't speak good English at all, just good enough for me to maintain a simple conversation. Once he was trying to tell me that he needed a bathroom break to take a number 2, but instead of describing it as such, he said "Must go, the hunger that comes from behind" before departing.

Took me until he came back to figure out what he meant and gave me a big laugh when I did. You guys have any to share?

[Catta]

I heard one say "I could care less" when what he was actually trying to say is the sole thing excluded by this very phrase.

[cooper6040]

A lot of people around this area say that... and they speak amurican.

[Socialhealer]

they tried telling me they was a blizzard rep and i need to enter my account details on a 100% legit site! or i could face a ban

[endersblade]

When I was in Japan, I used to go off base to some hang-outs that a lot of the college kids would go to when they got let out. Being Americans, they would hang out with us and practice their English. Some of the things they'd say would make me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.

One guy said an online friend told him to say, "I love your mom from behind" as in it was something cool to tell people. He had no idea what it meant, but he would say it so sincerely and vehemently, I laughed my balls off. A girl had one, "Beneath the table I see cats", I can't remember where she picked it up from. But there were so many things like that, and then of course ones involving differing sentence structures between the two languages that would end up unintentionally funny. Granted, I said my fair share of them in Japanese, too lol. There are just too many of them for me to remember, I was there for 6 months doing this sort of thing. I'm actually still friends with the guy, and I tease him all the time by saying "I love your mom from behind!" instead of saying good bye lol.

[Haizer]

I use it think it was funny when someone would say "Loose" when they meant "Lose", but I found out native speakers are retarded and use it on purpose, which causes problems for people learning English.

[Rixis]

I heard one say "I could care less" when what he was actually trying to say is the sole thing excluded by this very phrase.

Isn't that more an American thing. So technically they'd not be a none English person (the person who you know said it may have been none english, but i've seen it used almost exclusively by americans)

[TEHPALLYTANK]

I use it think it was funny when someone would say "Loose" when they meant "Lose", but I found out native speakers are retarded and use it on purpose, which causes problems for people learning English.

Nah, native speakers are actually that damn stupid that they don't know the difference between loose and lose.

[Sett]

My mother called my Xbox 360 an eggplant 360. I don't know why it was so funny when I heard that. ( English isn't her first language. )

[Reg]

When I was a kid, my pediatrician was an Indian man. He knew the language very well, but still had a very thick accent. The reason I remember him so vividly is because no matter what ailment I came to the office with, he would ask me if I had diarrhea. Cold? Flu? Sports physical? Broken bone? Every time, do you have diarrhea? It's probably the funniest word I have ever heard with an Indian accent.

[mercutiouk]

The speed of light through frearspace is...

As spoken by an (actually incredibly smart professor at uni) had friends who didn't even realise he was meaning "free air space".

[Deleted]

When people say Irregardless, It is not even a real word!

[Butler to Baby Sloths]

Trying to get a German to pronounce "squirrel" properly. It got even funnier when his Mum joined in. They simply can't say the word "squirrel".

[Nizer]

heard a russian scream "STOP CONDESCENDING UPON ME" once

[MerinPally]

Isn't that more an American thing. So technically they'd not be a none English person (the person who you know said it may have been none english, but i've seen it used almost exclusively by americans)

It's just plain wrong though. Things like Aluminium and Laboratory they spell differently so saying Aloominum and Lab-rah-tory is fine but it actually doesn't make sense. It is mainly Americans which just makes it worse.

[Revi]

When trying to say "It's not the speed that kills, it's the crash" a famous Norwegian rally driver said "It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell"

In Norwegian fart means speed, and smell means impact/bang.

His PR agents told him NOT to get English lessons, because his horrible English got him tons of publicity

[derpkitteh]

When trying to say "It's not the speed that kills, it's the crash" a famous Norwegian rally driver said "It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell"

In Norwegian fart means speed, and smell means impact/bang.

His PR agents told him NOT to get English lessons, because his horrible English got him tons of publicity

oh. my. god. i didn't know that. oh god it's so fucking hilarious xD

spanish guy in my high school used to say the most hilarious and random things ever, and he was soooo preppy it was just adorable. if someone would play a prank on him he'd almost always say "hey dat not cool mang". funny stuff.

[Catta]

When people say Irregardless, It is not even a real word!

Whatever, i could care less.

[Butler to Baby Sloths]

When trying to say "It's not the speed that kills, it's the crash" a famous Norwegian rally driver said "It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell"

In Norwegian fart means speed, and smell means impact/bang.

His PR agents told him NOT to get English lessons, because his horrible English got him tons of publicity

Both statements are, however, true

[get big or die mirin]

Not so much they're saying anything wrong but South African's accents are classic. The white guys who speak Afrikaans(?)
When I was an apprentice, this SA tradie got pissed off at me one day and was like, "Why can't you ornswer me?"
I just pissed him off even more it was side splittingly funny to hear that accent when he was mad.