I'm 21 and want to have sex with a 42 year old.

[cyndallis]

If you're attracted to her and she's attracted to you and you're in a country/province where it's legal - go for it. Sure there are plenty of cons as many have pointed out (her partner, her children, if children are an issue to you her reduced likelihood of conception [~15% of a woman around your age]) but if you don't go for it you could miss out on something special.

[Deleted]

Whether I want to or not isn't germane. The question was which would you prefer. While the second sentence answers it, I have some doubts that you truly have no preference.

There's not really much you can do before it becomes harassment and I can call the police.

[Cosmic Janitor]

I said it before, but I'll say it again, more than one party can be at fault.

Do you agree you have an obligation to not harm children?

Because you are only riding the children train, could we assume that the kids are not in the picture, because we know nothing about them and all that is conjecture. The thing is actually, as we don't even know if she has any interest in him at all.

[xuros]

Exactly. My niece, my sister, my current wife all had children when they were >21. I know hundreds of people that have had their first kid between 18 and 21, not any one of them would ever say that their "life was over", when they had a kid.

Like i said before, spoken by someone who does not have a kid.

Life doesn't begin until you have a child

Yeah I agree. I know plenty of people who had kids when they were young. Like 19-23 or so. They all did great with raising them and all put them through college. Great parents overall. Just because someone is young doesn't mean that they can't own up to the responsibility of raising a kid.


Now my wife and I were married at 23 and we didn't have our first child (my son) til I was 33 and our daughter was born when I was 44 lol. (vacation souvenirs) With how our relationship was with me not being home much having kids you would have meant my wife having the full burden of taking care of them alone. That was something that we talked about before hand and focused on our careers first then worked on children later.

To the OP. Join a dating site, put your pic up, and try the dating scene like that. You have a chance to find a girl thats into you. Don't let people tell you its all about you and not looks. Your'e young and I think finding a girl your age who is into you would be a healthy start. Personally I don't have problems with the whole cougar thing. When I was 18 I was at a club with some friends and this smoking hot blonde woman started to buy me drinks (legal age in my state was 18 back then to drink) and hit on me all night. I wen't home with her and that was that. She was 37 at the time and it was awesome. Friends picked on me for a while saying I was her kill for the night and it was all right with me! lol

The woman that you are talking with, does she say shes unhappy with the guy shes with? I know you said she talks about her boobs and she has dreams about you. Girls that I was good/close friends with would talk like that all of the time but we were all close in age in relation to each other. In the end I think getting info here is a bad thing since you will not even come close to getting useful information as most of the user are kids themselves. So in closing Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one! My advice. Join a dating website....NOT CRAIGSLIST!!! lol. Think of a good clever post for yourself, post a good pic, and just be real. When you go out to meat her make sure you manscape!!! (lol?) Girls love when you take care of your appearance!!! Then just be yourself. We are nervous when we start the whole dating thing but its kinda like riding a bike........

[Dispraise]

There's not really much you can do before it becomes harassment and I can call the police.

And? That still offers very little insight into how you would like to be treated.

[Deleted]

And? That still offers very little insight into how you would like to be treated.

I don't care how a stranger treats me until they cross the line and then they're going to be reported.

[Mooshelle]

Do what you want, your single and only responsible for yourself your not hurting anyone. She on the other hand...

[Azaril]

That statement is as shallow as the other one. Both only aiming to assure oneself that their life style choice has been the right one.

You know what the greatest part of having a child is?

When you can show them something and you can see that they learn it.

When they see you and smile and laugh and reach for you.

When you tell them to do something simple, such as pick up your shoes, and they know what to do.

when they call you dad.


You probably should stop trying to say that everyone who has a child some how missed out on life. you're not going to win with that.

[RapBreon]

Because you are only riding the children train, could we assume that the kids are not in the picture, because we know nothing about them and all that is conjecture. The thing is actually, as we don't even know if she has any interest in him at all.

We can, but then I'd probably fall into Nixx's camp.

Conjecture is still useful for discussion and proving a point. Which is what this is about morality.

This whole thing is conjecture from beginning to end. The fact we don't even know the lady friends opinion on the OP is conjecture in itself.

[McLøvin]

Hi yes the title is true. Just wanted to ask everyone's insight, and if you have ever been in this situation

Long story short 2 years ago I met this very nice woman on WoW. Over the years we have become 'best friends' never really flirting, but not 'friend zoned' on my part if that makes sense. See I have had her on facebook, talked to her on phone and vent, and I have become quite attached. I realize it would be wrong to date a 42 year old woman when I am only 21 but would it be okay to be a 'fuck buddy' on the off chance. I mean she has a boyfriend and 2 kids. I just am confused, having never had a girlfriend or anything. Is she too old for me?

Boyfriend and 2 kids should settle your answer right there.

[Deleted]

I realize it would be wrong to date a 42 year old woman when I am only 21

Why exactly? You are both adults.

I mean she has a boyfriend and 2 kids.

This is what would make it wrong in my opinion.

[Dispraise]

I don't care how a stranger treats me until they cross the line and then they're going to be reported.

Assuming already that I'm not going to cross any lines into illegality, it literally makes no difference how I treat you? Should we ever cross paths, I can decide whether to be nice or mean based on a coin flip, and you don't have even an inkling of preference for how it lands?

Honestly, that makes me kinda sad.

[Cosmic Janitor]

You know what the greatest part of having a child is?

When you can show them something and you can see that they learn it.

When they see you and smile and laugh and reach for you.

When you tell them to do something simple, such as pick up your shoes, and they know what to do.

when they call you dad.


You probably should stop trying to say that everyone who has a child some how missed out on life. you're not going to win with that.

I didn't say that. That is your insecurity assuming I said that, when I clearly didn't. I said both statements are shallow, completly neglecting the disadavantages, which there are to both life styles, only praising the good sides, not differentiating in the least. As I said: shallow, only serving to reasure yourself that your current life style choice has been the right one, just as much as the other guy that thinks kids are an STD, because he probably missed out on his chance (or didn't have it yet).

[Deleted]

WoW it's a game, not reality. This forum isn't a dating site.

Yeah butttt you can still meet people in a game cause of shared interests and stuff. And they're still real people even if there arn't any shared interests. Besides it doesn't even sound like he's looking for a long term relationship, just a fling. Like, I would get all up on Rich like a climbing frame even though there isn't any shared interests or whatever probably. I don't see the difference here.

[Slappers]

24 here, I wanted to bang my 45 year old boss, cougar as fuck so. Honestly, I think most guys between 20 and 30 have some sexual fantasy of banging a cougar in her 40s.

[cyndallis]

...just as much as the other guy that thinks kids are an STD...

Please... We all know that the only thing kids are good for is grinding for you in MMOs!

[Deleted]

home wrecker...gj

[Bigmits]

Why is this thread still even open, OP clearly gave up or is no longer reading this since like page 5 and its just turning into a "who has better morales" argument.

[RapBreon]

No. There is no obligation not to harm anyone, except in specific ways.

I'm not entirely sure I understand the line you've divided between the two. What guidelines are you using?

I'm playing by their rules. I generally deny morality is meaningful in any way.

I disagree, how do you form a cohesive society with a set of guidelines that dictate behaviours? What would you propose as an alternative?

[Xanjori]

Why is this thread still even open, OP clearly gave up or is no longer reading this since like page 5 and its just turning into a "who has better morales" argument.

I heard if you click report, you can send this line to mods. Rather than moaning in the actual thread and not helping.