Age dating, and Agism, How old is too old, how, how young is too young?

[Doctor Amadeus]

OK, I want to start out by saying this is NOT about dating someone at or below the age of legal consent, that topic has been talked about, and argued already.

Me personally being a guy and in my 30's I don't date younger than 25, and I have never dated a woman older than me, but I have a couple of friends that has one I have known since just out of High school, and another I known just as long, one has been dating an older woman for a while now, and he used to be a bit more casual, so I am surprised he settled down, the other has just recently gotten in a relationship with a older woman, and is also getting a lot of flack from his parents.


So, the question becomes and what I What I want is to know what is YOUR experience, and YOUR view on age as it relates to short term AND long term romantic relationships, in other words sexual?


And also do you think is it a good idea, bad idea, what are some things to consider, gay or straight, whatever your background?

[Deleted]

I'll only date guys that are the same age as me or a few years older max. With women I could date someone younger, same age or few years older.

[GrinningMan]

My grandfather was twenty-five when he married my grandmother at 17. They've been together for fifty years. I know it probably doesn't mean nearly as much nowadays, but it seems that was pretty standard way back when. It's a strong and rather happy marriage with only the occasional shaking (particularly after my grandfather's stroke). But marriage was ruined, not by alternate lifestyles, but by the shams that were built out of desperation (oh god I have to find someone before I get too old!)

Do what thou wilt, though. There's a Jack for every Jenny.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I'll only date guys that are the same age as me or a few years older max. With women I could date someone younger, same age or few years older.

So as you get older, if you are still single would you date younger, and if you would how much younger, and what would be your standard?

Also is there just as much of a double standard in your view of women who date older, as their is of women who date younger?

[Lord Pebbleton]

I'll only date guys that are the same age as me or a few years older max. With women I could date someone younger, same age or few years older.

Same here. I am 20, at min I could date a girl that's 17 and just if she's super pretty and awesome and stuff. At max I don't know... my "best" is a girl of 24.
When I see things like, a 18 girl and a 25 boy, or a 20 girl and a 29 boy, I just see it as utterly pathetic. What, you're so uninteresting that you had to resort to experience and age difference because you couldn't give anything else to those of your age?

[Deleted]

Too young is just a name in China.

[Doctor Amadeus]

My grandfather was twenty-five when he married my grandmother at 17. They've been together for fifty years. I know it probably doesn't mean nearly as much nowadays, but it seems that was pretty standard way back when. It's a strong and rather happy marriage with only the occasional shaking (particularly after my grandfather's stroke). But marriage was ruined, not by alternate lifestyles, but by the shams that were built out of desperation (oh god I have to find someone before I get too old!)

Do what thou wilt, though. There's a Jack for every Jenny.

Bull shit, I think it means a lot to commit to someone and share a life together for 50 years or however long you got, that is pretty inspiring, and very cool, I think loving someone is harder but more rewarding the longer you go.

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Too young is just a name in China.

Hahaha yeah, I don't agree, I seen lots of woman much younger, beautiful yes, but there are things like being able to relate to one another that are important.

[Deleted]

If he / she is over 16, it's all good.

My own missus is 12 years younger than me so.. I can't really condemn anyone

[Deleted]

So as you get older, if you are still single would you date younger, and if you would how much younger, and what would be your standard?

Also is there just as much of a double standard in your view of women who date older, as their is of women who date younger?

I can't say how I'm going to be in mid 30s or more, based on the present.

Not sure I understand the second stuff.

[Wyrt]

±4 years or so from my age.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I can't say how I'm going to be in mid 30s or more, based on the present.

Not sure I understand the second stuff.

The second question is simply asking if you would be uncomfortable dating a younger guy if you were still single when you got older. Because here in the U.S women at times get shit for dating older and much older, along with younger, and much younger if they are older.

[belfpala]

Age/2 + 7 is the youngest.

[shadowmouse]

I think that culture plays a role.

When I was younger, I dated women in the US who were as much as almost twice my age. Take that as an indication of how young I was more than how old they were. They were usually women getting advanced degrees in hard sciences, I was unusually far ahead of my peers academically. I was happy that they had actually seen and done some of the things that I was interested in, they liked that I wasn't intimidated by their studies and accomplishments.

In China, there is a ridiculous amount of pressure on women to marry before they turn 30. There is also a great deal of social pressure for men to marry at what is seen as one level below them because the men believe they're expected to take a leading role in the relationship. That means they do not (usually) feel comfortable with a woman who is wealthier, more influential, or more educated. One joke goes that women with advanced degrees are China's third gender. Oddly, I'm still not intimidated, and I've found myself dating women who -- although nearly half my age -- are seen as past their shelf life.

That brings me to a second factor, I think that it has less to do with age and more to do with where the two are in their lives. The younger partner needs to have their life under control and their future lined up to keep a sense of balance in the relationship. The older partner has to be willing to adapt to a younger partner, which may mean being willing to accept some risks.

What, you're so uninteresting that you had to resort to experience and age difference because you couldn't give anything else to those of your age?

That gives rather little credit to the younger partner. There are also young people who are further ahead with their life and career who may not be comfortable with people their own age who are still trying to figure out what to be when they grow up. Thus, my second point above.

[smokii]

at 34, if i was to date again, i probably wouldn't consider a serious relationship with anyone under 25 or over 40, but that wouldn't stop me dating anybody of legal age, old or young, people are people, some young people are very mature, some old people are very immature, at the end of the day it's all about finding the right person for you.

age is just a number, it shouldn't be a barrier, but then it all depends on what you are looking for in a relationship and only you can make that decision.

[Zafire]

I'm 27 (and male), and as far as "dating" I think I could do anything between the ages of 18 and 45.

How serious I get about long term commitment would likely increase based on how close they are to my age. I still want to have kids, and I want someone with emotional maturity. That isn't completely true, though, as if there was a 40 year old that was just amazing I don't think I'd ditch commitment due to age.

[Independent voter]

I do think the good ones are taken up early and if you wait too long, it's hard to get a good mate.

[Deleted]

i would only date someone around the same age as me, im 23. my girlfriend is 21, and i think thats young enough. i couldn't date anyone younger than that, and i don't think i could date anyone older than 24.

[Kurioxan]

Age is just a number (insert disclaimer about underage), or actually extreme age differences, like 20-30 years. 5 is nothing.
I do only date younger, never have dated older, think mostly coincidence i dont have much preference.

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I do think the good ones are taken up early and if you wait too long, it's hard to get a good mate.

"where are all the good men?!" classic.

Yeah, that is indeed a concern if its something you actually want/care about. Then again if you want/care about that, why not work towards that at an early age?

[Deleted]

I'm mid 30s, recent gf was 22.

Date younger women if you can, better sex and they are happier, more open-minded and less stressed by ideas of career/family/etc than older women.

[Deleted]

To me, once you read 19-20 you can do whatever you like. If you feel like jumping on a 50 year old than feel free to do so.