Stance on gender fluid/binary bathrooms?

[Sylv_]

Trigger about inequalities! raaageee

[Mistame]

I am a she a her, haven't been a he for years now.

Like I said, if you're convincing in your presentation or I know you, then I'll use "she". But if I see someone in a wig, makeup and a dress with a blatant five-o-clock shadow, I'm going with "he". Since you've clarified, I've no problem using your requested pronoun, assuming I remember to. And not be offensive, as I'm sincerely curious, how do you intend to completely "transition" if you're still "buff" enough to "tip a vw one-handed"? I've yet to a muscular chic that didn't look like a dude.

[Gothicshark]

Yes, it has to do with fear, specifically hypervigilance as I am a CSA survivor. There are many female CSA survivors (males, too, but I am speaking on my behalf of my more specific group). While I am sympathetic to trans people, I can't help but notice that many of them seem to be entirely unsympathetic to people in my situation. Their feelings matter, ours do not. They do not want to feel invalidated by having to use the men's restrooms (MTF), but they have no problem with causing millions of women anxiety because our feelings are less important. Compromise is typically out of the question, as well. So in most cases I feel as though I am being asked to empathize with people who have no empathy for people in my position whatsoever. I try not to let myself become bigoted in my frustration, not towards men because of what one predator did, nor towards trans people due to the prevalent one-sided empathy demands. But I admit to being frustrated with the latter situation.

As an Adult in the Military a black man abused me. I do not fear black men for the actions of one person who took advantage of me when I was drunk and nearly unconscious.

(although I do have issues this day from that event, I fear loss of control mostly)

However I fear you and many women in your position have missed something important. As children most transwomen knew they were female, but they were forced to be males by family, schools, and friends. This level of constant pressure is just as damaging as CSA, and many times included it as well. So when we first are starting out, with a rare few exceptions most men didn't care, they would think oh hey he's gay whatever. Women on the other hand, a small few would be nice and helpful, but the majority would become vicious and mean to us. More then once in my life I have heard "What are you a pervert?", "You have no right to dress like that!" ect. Women can get rather mean to Transwomen fairly quickly. So when a woman like you comes around and demands that we show you empathy, I have to sit back and wonder were you the one nice lady at the make up counter, or the 10 others who gave me horrible looks and comments while looking at lipstick.

[Elegiac]

Like I said, if you're convincing in your presentation or I know you, then I'll use "she".

Or you can just use their preferred pronoun because you are not entitled to make that decision anymore than you are entitled to call someone by an incorrect name.

[Gothicshark]

...as I'm sincerely curious, how do you intend to completely "transition" if you're still "buff" enough to "tip a vw one-handed"? I've yet to a muscular chic that didn't look like a dude.

It might be why I have allowed myself to gain weight over these last 5 years, fat does round my build a bit. If I had the means, I would go full SRS, and other things. I have done as much as humanly possible on my finances but there are hard limits that prevent me from furthering my goals. Although I'm still pressing forward.

[Mistame]

Or you can just use their preferred pronoun because you are not entitled to make that decision anymore than you are entitled to call someone by an incorrect name.

I'm not obligated to guess the preferred pronoun of someone I don't know. Nor am I obligated to address anyone in any specific manner, name or otherwise. Pay attention, son.

It might be why I have allowed myself to gain weight over these last 5 years, fat does round my build a bit. If I had the means, I would go full SRS, and other things. I have done as much as humanly possible on my finances but there are hard limits that prevent me from furthering my goals. Although I'm still pressing forward.

Well I do, sincerely, wish you the best of luck.

[Gothicshark]

Well I do, sincerely, wish you the best of luck.

Thank you.

[Snes]

Sounds like an environment for both actual rape and false rape accusations to arise from. Doesn't seem worth the trouble.

[Bridius]

I'll never be able to pee again

[Moralgy]

Yes, it has to do with fear, specifically hypervigilance as I am a CSA survivor. There are many female CSA survivors (males, too, but I am speaking on my behalf of my more specific group). While I am sympathetic to trans people, I can't help but notice that many of them seem to be entirely unsympathetic to people in my situation. Their feelings matter, ours do not. They do not want to feel invalidated by having to use the men's restrooms (MTF), but they have no problem with causing millions of women anxiety because our feelings are less important. Compromise is typically out of the question, as well. So in most cases I feel as though I am being asked to empathize with people who have no empathy for people in my position whatsoever. I try not to let myself become bigoted in my frustration, not towards men because of what one predator did, nor towards trans people due to the prevalent one-sided empathy demands. But I admit to being frustrated with the latter situation.

So if the knowledge that a penis has a really good habit of becoming unusable for even consensual sex after starting estrogen, and just will not do anything after the removal of testicles were out there, would that lower your worry a bit? Physical strength also goes away after a year, sports stuff requires two years, but yea.

Everyone of my genetic female friends, but one, are currently stronger than me because I'm a fragile little flower... 6 foot tall flower. I could not overpower them if I wanted to.

[lopus]

I really don't want to share with Women. It's disgusting.

this 1000 times

[Moralgy]

Surgeries, follow up care, I can get hormones on my VA benefits, but that's it. Sucks being disabled sometimes.

Ahhh yea, the follow up care tends to shut you down for a while. Its odd that VA won't cover SRS, I thought something was changed that insurance stuff had to cover SRS.

[Bridius]

Everyone of my genetic female friends, but one, are currently stronger than me because I'm a fragile little flower... 6 foot tall flower. I could not overpower them if I wanted to.

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates

[Gothicshark]

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates

Sounds like my father. (the reason why I was in a gym, in the Marines, and all my other failed manly attempts.)

- - - Updated - - -

Ahhh yea, the follow up care tends to shut you down for a while. Its odd that VA won't cover SRS, I thought something was changed that insurance stuff had to cover SRS.

I don't have insurance, I'm 100% service connected through the VA. I get all my medical needs from the VA, but somethings such as Transition are not fully covered yet... I stress yet since the rules have slowly been changing over the years.

[Moralgy]

I don't have insurance, I'm 100% service connected through the VA. I get all my medical needs from the VA, but somethings such as Transition are not fully covered yet... I stress yet since the rules have slowly been changing over the years.

Ohhh, I wasn't aware the VA wasn't considered insurance. That really sucks.

- - - Updated - - -

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates

Neat quote, but not sure what it's use is here.

[Gothicshark]

Ohhh, I wasn't aware the VA wasn't considered insurance. That really sucks.

Yah, although it counts for the exemption. Still I wish I had a bit more coverage, because I do need to fix a few things that are not covered by the VA.

[Rhine101]

No. What good will it accomplish?

Last thing I need is me or my son to get ACCUSED of rape and have our lives ended by it. All because some fucking beast felt I eye raped her in the restroom because I glanced at her for 0.4 seconds , smiled and said hi.