You sure are on a roll with posting, Seth. Guess it only makes sense, though - this is the end of the show that's become your job to cover and to cater to the fandom of. If there's any days you should be vigilant and active for all through, it's now.
This epilogue... I've expressed my feelings about it in my initial reaction post yesterday, and I guess I actually played my cards right there - my impression did not change much overnight. Some complaints got refined, if anything. But since this is a followup, I will still post my thoughts again - trying to cover new ground where I can instead of retreading what I said just yesterday.
If you know me from my earlier S9 posting (and that post in particular), I did not receive this ending well. Not well enough to disavow it entirely.
I'll just start with the first, initial, absolute dealbreaker. Remember the "Twilight will not outlive her friends" bit we had sworn to us after S3 by Meghan? So, that was a load of bullsh!t apparently. Promises don't count no more - or, with Meghan leaving the show itself, apparently only counted while she was around. We do get Twilight outliving her friends, very pointedly so. We do get all of the Mane girls aging and "old" but Twilight turned into a lazy Celestia palette swap, looking like they just took S1-era fan vectors of Twi-as-Celestia and animated them.
Then come the weird fates of the Mane 6, and yet more heavy dealbreakers, each of which is enough for me to declare discontinuity on this ending.
Appledash - the absolute, unforgivable, cardinal sin of inter-Mane 6 shipping. It's something permissible for fans to play around with for fun and clops - but an absolute, immediate show-destroyer if put into canon. Now people will keep on trying to reinterpret all their past appearances and episodes as romantic - even though, if you really tried to do that, you could envision enough "romantic subtext" to create every single possible inter-Mane 6 pairing and say canon supports it.
Fluttercord - fan shipping made canon is bad enough by itself, but it's orders of magnitude worse after the bullsh!t the writers had in store for Discord in the immediately preceding finale. He gets to be possibly the least likeable idiot in the show so far, his years of appearances and improvement flushed down the drain - and yet still gets a "happily ever after" with a Mane girl. Yeah, pass.
Pinkie x Cheese (Cheesepie) - the only one I could have possibly seen, given that they had enough romantic leads in their first and second episode to make for a budding connection... but it all happens OFFSCREEN, making it feel entirely unearned and tell-don't-show in the extreme. That poor handling of a Mane girl's love life is by itself unforgivable, even though among the three of these it's the least terrible (and yet remains terrible). Each step up above it is just an extra order of magnitude worse.
And that's just their love life! What about their personal fates? Well, Twilight gets to be the sole undivided ruler of Equestria, and the Mane girls... just meet her every month or every year, depending on the interpretation? What a load of horsefeathers. Where is their reward for years of excellence? Where are titles, where are the boons due to heroes such as them? Nothing like it is even hinted at. They just continue their existences in almost the same way they were left in before the finale... only worse. AJ is still nothing more than a farm owner. RD is just replacement Spitfire. Fluttershy is just forever stuck in her sanctuary and the shipping dimension. Pinkie is a dutiful housewife and baker and nothing more. And Rarity... did she just MOVE TO THE FREAKING YAKS? Yona and Sandbar living in her boutique or something? What in the actual untitled goose game is even going on there? Oh, and all the parents-age ponies are apparently gone already, if the absence of Mr. and Mrs. Cake is any evidence.
So, Twilight outlives her friends, her friends are shipped among themselves offscreen, they're all "past their prime" with significant and fun things just ceasing to occur in their lives after the finale, and they aren't even really that much of a friend circle anymore - they're nostalgic about their old bond, not happily friends still, they're split apart, their fellowship shattered.
And all of that is done in by... one last gigantic round of "lol, Mane 6 are totally incompetent and suck, isn't that funny?" that has all of them ruin Twilight's coronation by being irresponsible and other weird reasons (like the Apple seal on things, that one was so bad in particular). Each of them got dragged through the mud there, each and every one - and despite the episode's confusing flashback-leaping structure later trying to suggest it was no big deal for any of them, it feels like that was a "breaking point", breakup moment that left bitterness among them, the way it's framed and contrasted against their now-split-apart lives. This is not a celebration of friendship - this is an ending to a friendship. And I dunno about you, but I don't think the end of a friendship-themed show should necessarily feature the friends drifting apart and no longer being friends - if anything, I think the opposite should be true.
This is the last, great, thematic crime of this episode. It feels like the crew was trying to make some point of "friends grow distant from one another and life takes us apart, but we'll always have memories of our past friendship to be happy about". Well, that may be "meta-related" to the show itself ending... but why should the show ending change the tone of it in-universe? FiM, if you haven't noticed, is not a cynical, dark-feels show about the unpleasant vagaries of life. Yes, it can and does touch upon some remarkably dark and complicated things sometimes, and until S8 has been doing so near-universally in a very mature way that handled things seriously but without overbearing gravitas nor with laughing it up and simplifying it, and in a lifelike manner. However, it's also an uplifting show - and its backbone plot, its backbone characters, should still have received good, celebratory, "happy" endings. This has always been a show about good things being rewarded, and bad things being atoned for or punished - not a gritty and cynical one where heroes have unhappy lives and suffer and die in vain while villains get away with fell deeds and live happily ever after. The Mane 6's friendship should never have been even implied to be sullied and broken - and the Mane 6 themselves should have, as the S9 openers themselves promised to us, ruled Equestria together. Not in the "jedi truth" way we got, where "from a certain point of view" there is some "advisory council" but in truth Twilight is the one empress and the Mane 6 are just the same or worse than they were left as. The Mane girls should have formed an actual ruling network, with each of them given boons and high responsibilities - and each of them, as it so happens, even had trustworthy ponies to help them take care of or take over their mundane life things, from AJ's family expanding with Sugar Belle to Sweetie growing up and able to help Rarity manage her franchises. Is this the only ending possible? No, not at all, they could've had other fates too - but the one we got is just disappointing and depressing, with their adventures just ending and never truly amounting to much in the long run, with them remaining static and never granted "winner prizes" for being Equestria's mightiest heroes.
Worst part about it all is the execution, however. It's just sloppy, lazy, extremely telly and not showy. The conflict among the Mane 6 in the flashbacks feels forced - like they're being passive-aggressive and angry with one another because they're holding the conflict ball. The repeated bad attempts at humour via bathos and via character denigration feel so out of tune and tasteless for a final episode of a show that it's unbelievable this made it through vetting. The craftsmanship is questionable as well - many weaksauce faces were to be seen (one of the Dash ones is right up there in the screencaps), and it actually was physically jarring to my eyes when we switched from the classic-vector, S2-era kitchen to the overproduced and over-effected outdoors background at the coronation. Not to mention the glaringly basic, bland, un-"personalized" look of Twilight, having her turned into Purple Celestia as a simple palette swap with a different mane - entirely at odds with past practice of the show, too, as in the past all-important moments like that were always granted with personalized and unique designs and models and looks, and even less-important ones often were.
This episode definitely is The Last Problem. Except the problem is with the episode existing, for the show at large. Jimbo, in today's short question session on Twitter, kept on saying "we wanted to leave things open to the fans' imagination"... well, if you wanted that, then why wouldn't you simply not make an epilogue telling us what to imagine and what not to? Just leave things off with the finale itself, or show only the celebration and coronation of Twilight in an epilogue, without Harry Potter-esque "everyone's married each other, and their lives are mundane drudgery" parts in sight.
It's so bad, it makes me think that, despite Twitter assurances to the contrary, the production people actually intended to forestall any further fan work about "what happened next" with this epilogue - to stamp their one last final mark on the show by cauterizing it, so no further growth from it is possible and all turns to a foregone (and unsatisfying) conclusion. TVTropes (much as I dislike to invoke that site again) has a special name for that move - Torch the Franchise and Run. You may argue that it just can't be so because there'll be a comic "season 10" - but if you really think about it, it feels like an internal "screw you, it's ours and ours alone" to any future people coming to work on G4-related materials whether they are "canon" or not. With this epilogue, they try to cut off all branches possible save for a very unsatisfying one - essentially penning in the writers who'll have to observe that canon into having only one option, namely walking the path they laid out for them and showing us how we got to that unsatisfying ending. It's either that, or declaring discontinuity on the epilogue and continuing differently - essentially making an AU, and I'd be very surprised if official material would be allowed to really do that. Only we, the fans, truly have such freedom. And it would have been much, much better had we not seen ANY epilogue, and had "what happens next" left for us to imagine for ourselves, whether we want to ship Mane 6 with one another or have them all become alicorns or for the Students to take over or anything else we may want. It would have been fan- and future official material-friendly; this is the opposite of that, it's trying to impose as many long-reaching, thought-limiting ideas on everything as it can.
Frankly, this epilogue has the same energy as the Game of Thrones ending. And the entire S9, same problems as Game of Thrones's last season did as well. It's a weak, unsatisfying, hurreid and plain weird wrap-up of a decade-long franchise with a huge following, in which plotlines and important elements get forgotten, characters get bastardized and misused and thrown down the drain, and the ending is a headscratcher that "subverts expectations" as well as past promises and common sense.
... At least I'm definitely with you on the "School I still don't see the point of" bit, Seth.
P.S. In a way... the abysmal quality and idiotic moves the epilogue pulled are actually helping me deal with FiM ending. It did not depress or sadden me as much as it could have, had it been good. With it being bad, it feels more like putting it out of misery, and preventing any further corruption from taking hold, a mercy kill. And on my personal emotional front, instead of sorrow, I feel anger over the betrayal of past promises and the deplorable handling of things that needed utmost care and excellence of execution - and as Mass Effect 2 put it once, "rage is a heck of an anaesthetic".
P.P.S. What the hay happend to Twist? It's like the visuals people really hate her.