Battling sexual assault, adding a "sexual misconduct" clause to investment contracts

[Independent voter]

Even if this is legal I don't think it will have much of an effect, if you ever enacted the clause you'd probably wind up in court.

Article pretty much in full but link provided anyway

https://medium.com @sarahnadav/lena-dunham-bey-the-apology-plague-and-my-rage-against-the-machine-sorrynotsorry-eb6ce9e80f70#.1rzw1krdg

Let’s talk about an uncomfortable truth, sexual harassment and assault is common in the tech industry. The only reason we don’t hear more about it is because the men who perpetrate it the most are also the ones who hold the “keys to the kingdom”- as investors or powerful industry figures, women don’t want to ruin their careers by speaking out.

So I have come to a conclusion. I am adding a “sexual misconduct clause” into all of my investment agreements. If an investor or employee of the investor/accelerator/incubator makes a sexual advance towards me or anyone in my company, then they are stripped of all of their shares in my company (even the ones that have vested) and there will be a public notice to shareholders as to the reason why.

There are plenty of “bad actor” clauses that already exist. It is time to add a new one that protects women.

Let me walk you through my process:

Yesterday I read Lena Dunham’s Linkedin post “Sorry, Not Sorry: My Apology Addiction” and I thought, WOW- Dunham is so fierce, and Bey is too.

Her article lit a spark which fired up some self-awareness, because I heard myself apologizing for the rest of the day. I apologized for having an opinion, I apologized for bumping into someone who actually walked into me. I even said “I am sorry but I think you are wrong” (to someone who totally had their facts wrong) So, what the fuck is up with that?

I am part of the apology plague. I caught it or maybe always had it. I keep saying it, and just like Lena said, it is just a thin veil over my rage.

The reason I am so angry is because I was sexually assaulted at an afterparty during a tech conference. It was the last straw after years of putting up with all kinds of sexism and as a result, I closed my company.

I tell people it was “founder burnout”, but it wasn’t. It was a trauma which I couldn’t shake or face and the tech events went from fun parties to threatening crowds. I am always outnumbered (by a lot) and there is a frat boy mentality by some of even the most respected investors.

I didn’t let it stop me, and I launched Civilize because I am on a fucking mission. I believe in what we are doing. (helping people end harassment from debt collectors)

Plus, I already built the tech and I couldn’t just walk away and let it sit on a server somewhere collecting dust because I was feeling scared or hurt.

I pushed forward but the feelings didn’t go away. I just suppressed them and they find their way to the surface.

As Lena said in her post:

“… the fact is, a lot of the time when I say sorry it’s because I’m mad. Really mad. So mad that I’m afraid anything but sorry will cause me to explode and drip my hideous rage juice all over someone I’m simultaneously pissed at and trying to please. And so saying sorry serves as a sort of cork, making sure my emotions are contained and packaged neatly. Sorry is the wrapping paper AND the bow.”

I am having a great time as part of Barclays/Techstars accelerator. I love the people, the other companies and my team. In terms of my company, I am “crushing it” but demo day is coming. While other CEOs are worried about getting funded, I am shit scared that one of them will invest.

Every time I get up to pitch, instead of sharing my vision I am exploding with rage. And then I apologize and promise to do better, and change my pitch to one that is even more antagonizing then the last.

I was literally told that I need to work harder on hiding my thinly veiled contempt for the investors.

And I am so sorry that I am angry, and I am so sorry that I can’t get over it, and I am so sorry that I hate them as a whole instead of being able to remember that there a a few bad actors but most are not like that. And I know that the future of my company depends on me being able to get past this.

Because here is my deepest fear- I am afraid that one of these men, these bad actors will end up investing in Civilize. He will have a board seat, he will own part of my life’s work. One day, he will offer to take me out to dinner and I will think it is professional but he will have another agenda (because in his mind lunch is for business and dinner is for lovers but I didn’t get the memo), he will make an advance, I won’t know what to do, everything will get awkward and I will be afraid of making an enemy of him because he will have the power to oust me from my company.

This is my imagination, but these aren’t imaginary fears. This happens. I need to make sure that it doesn’t happen to me again, or to any members of my team.

I think that I felt more alone in these fears before Ellen Pao spoke up. She spoke for more women than anyone realizes and she didn’t apologize. Then more women spoke without apologizing. And with every voice that we add, we get collectively stronger.

But we need more than to speak out, we need to do something actionable to make a change and hold men accountable. As women in a male dominated, we deserve to be protected from unwanted sexual advances, and this seems like a good place to start.

*if you or someone you love is in debt, check out Civilize and maybe we can help. As always, you can find me here or on twitter @sarahnadav

[Kalis]

"We need gender diversity workshops, sensitivity training, sexual harassment workshops for CEOs, VCs and Angels." - Sarah Nadav

[Dextroden]

Sexual assault is "common" in the tech industry. Goodness. You'd think she was a loon or something.

[Fincayra]

I don't see the problem. There's a very good example of this currently, in Kesha. She claims her Producer raped her, and she's currently in court battles to get out of the contract on those grounds. If there had been such a clause in the contract to begin with, there wouldn't have been a problem. No problem, except you know, the whole getting raped thing.

[I Push Buttons]

I don't see the problem. There's a very good example of this currently, in Kesha. She claims her Producer raped her, and she's currently in court battles to get out of the contract on those grounds. If there had been such a clause in the contract to begin with, there wouldn't have been a problem. No problem, except you know, the whole getting raped thing.

How would there be no problem? You still need proof.

If contracts could simply be void at any time based on nothing other than the word of one party then what would be the point of even having a contract...? They literally exist to prevent that very thing in the first place.

[Dextroden]

How would there be no problem? You still need proof.

If contracts could simply be void at any time based on nothing other than the word of one party then what would be the point of even having a contract...? They literally exist to prevent that very thing in the first place.

Bingo bango bongo. We have ourselves a winner.

[Kalis]

How would there be no problem? You still need proof.

If contracts could simply be void at any time based on nothing other than the word of one party then what would be the point of even having a contract...? They literally exist to prevent that very thing in the first place.

Obviously nobody would ever lie about sexual assault to get out of a contract, because in La La Land everybody is honest and La La Land is about the only place where an investor would willingly sign up to such a shitty contract term.

[Mistame]

So fugly, pretentious cunts need a more "official" means of conning your average man. Got it.

[Powerogue]

I'll be honest, a lot of my opinions on this would depend on what the current definitions of "sexual assault" "sexual misconduct" and "sexual harassment" are. Feminists nowadays get them so horribly muddled they have me worried glancing in the general direction of a woman qualifies as at least one.

Beyond that all I can say is, while holding people accountable is very important, she should also not let other people's misconduct ruin her own actions by repressing so much anger that the constant bottled rage inhibits her ability to do her work. Surely it'd be possible to (after calming down obviously) confront them or their superiors firmly on the issue?

[Polyxo]

Sexual assault is "common" in the tech industry. Goodness. You'd think she was a loon or something.

I would agree that it's pretty common in tech. A lot of nerdy guys don't keep their hands to themselves.

[Deleted]

It isn't common in the industry though...

[Dextroden]

I would agree that it's pretty common in tech. A lot of nerdy guys don't keep their hands to themselves.

Nah, really? You agree with garbage based on feels and The Patriarchy Syndrom? Color me surprised.

[Polyxo]

Nah, really? You agree with garbage based on feels and The Patriarchy Syndrom? Color me surprised.

Nope, it's just I'm a computer scientist who's had my ass grabbed more than once, as has almost every other women I know in IT.

[Dextroden]

Nope, it's just I'm a computer scientist who's had my ass grabbed more than once, as has almost every other women I know in IT.

And I'm sure you approached one of them in the middle of your class on it and got a standing ovation for it.

[Fincayra]

How would there be no problem? You still need proof.

If contracts could simply be void at any time based on nothing other than the word of one party then what would be the point of even having a contract...? They literally exist to prevent that very thing in the first place.

Of course you still need proof. But aside from a spooge filled vagina or recordings, how do you prove a sexual assault happened? Lacking those key pieces of evidence, it'll always be one word against the other.

[Polyxo]

And I'm sure you approached one of them in the middle of your class on it and got a standing ovation for it.

Nope, ignored it like everybody else, because if you say something, or 'make a scene', you're suddenly the bitch who can't handle working with the guys. I physically threatened someone once when it happened alone. Every other situation I've seen it, or it's happened to me, it's ignored.

[Kalis]

Of course you still need proof. But aside from a spooge filled vagina or recordings, how do you prove a sexual assault happened? Lacking those key pieces of evidence, it'll always be one word against the other.

If a criminal offence was committed, then it is up to the legal system to deal with, not a commercial contract with a public humiliation clause in it.

[I Push Buttons]

Of course you still need proof. But aside from a spooge filled vagina or recordings, how do you prove a sexual assault happened? Lacking those key pieces of evidence, it'll always be one word against the other.

By reporting it when it happens as opposed to weeks, months, or even years later? I am all for giving supposed victims the benefit of the doubt, but that benefit of the doubt is the investigation, not automatically believing everything they say. If you make a claim, it should be investigated and things should go from there one way or the other. NO ONE should ever be convicted or have their life ruined based on nothing other than someone's word. To argue otherwise is fucking retarded.

[Theodarzna]

I would agree that it's pretty common in tech. A lot of nerdy guys don't keep their hands to themselves.

When did the Sociology set suddenly start hating geeky male science and tech guys?

[Mistame]

When did the Sociology set suddenly start hating geeky male science and tech guys?

When they realized they have penises, too.