Advice on continuing employment and toxic environments

[Dundebuns]

Yes, I know. I must be in a pretty interesting place to come to MMO champion for advice. But it can't help to get a broad spectrum of what people think about the situation I find myself in.

I'm from the UK and 32, and currently employed in a multi national tech firm. Well, I am employed in a subsidiary of said firm, but that's another story. Essentially I am there employee but without the benefits of a pension or any of the other nice things main liners get. Also I am on less pay than there main liners, (not by much though) although there main liners are on less than the market average, although when you count there benefits which I don't get it kinda makes it up.

Anyway, I am working in an environment I am finding more and more toxic. I suffer clinical depression and anxiety, have done all my life but only recently started getting treatment for it. Recently I went off on medical leave so I could get acclimitised to new medication. However during that time I was released from the project I was on (which was a shit project) and put on the waiting line for a new project. During the intervening weeks I have started to learn how little management know about depression and how people treat it, and how they can help to treat it. This has caused me to become isolated from others at work. It doesn't help that we hot desk, but there is never any space, so I find myself in a meeting room all day on my own. I had made plans to quit if a decent project did not come about within a few weeks.

Today I get a phone call from a prospective client telling me about a new project coming up. I would be working on the UI and front end aspects of it (which is perfect for me) and would still be based where I am. Just now I received and email from one of the head guys. It was pretty antagonistic, with lots of statements, no questions, and no words of encouragement (I had received an email from another high up lady that was at least encouraging). This email completely dispelled any encouragement I had for the job, and has made me doubt any decision to accept working on this project.

So now I am at an impasse. I don't know whether to stick my middle finger up at this guy (who I have learned has been using me as an example of who not to be in meetings) and leave, or to try and work on this project in an environment which is making me ill. What would people here do? I am well educated (PhD level) have savings to have a couple of months off work and reflect, and have good prospects if I were to look for a new job.

TLDR: Work place is shit, top manager is coming off as not a nice person, project offered seems good but would require me to stay in a bad place. What to do?!

EDIT:

Here's a comparison between two emails I got from similar level managers. Apparently I am on the radar because, well, being long term ill isn't compatible with their philosophy.

Hi,

This will be a great project to get involved with. Most of the work will be done from Hursley apart from a maximum of days away on the client site in the beginning. I encourage you to grab this opportunity.

Many thanks.

<My name> - your utilisation is 0 and questions are now being asked.

As per employment contract, travel is to be expected.

This is fantastic opportunity and you will have some grads working along side you, which is something you wanted for your development.

Do not miss this opportunity to work on future policing with Watson opportunities.

I expect you to in this role, on site everyday as per start time 08:30.

I report directly to the manager from email 2 in the management chain.

[belfpala]

Stick your middle finger up, find another workplace, and take that client with you.

[the game]

Have sex with your bosses wife. that'll show him.

[Azadina]

Save money that will last you years. With the Brexit incoming, you might need it. Not a good time to quit a job I would say.

[Dundebuns]

Save money that will last you years. With the Brexit incoming, you might need it. Not a good time to quit a job I would say.

I'm thinking since I'm currently in tech that it wont be too bad, since a lot of tech companies around are run by foreign investors, and a weaker pound may end up being good for such a job market.

Have sex with your bosses wife. that'll show him.

Might be a bit difficult as I do not find ladies physically attractive :S

Stick your middle finger up, find another workplace, and take that client with you.

Alas the client is the company the subsidiary is under (it's really weird, and quite dodgy) but I'd be quite happy to do the first things

[the game]

Might be a bit difficult as I do not find ladies physically attractive :S

Attraction has nothing to do with this. This is about making a point.

[Dundebuns]

Attraction has nothing to do with this. This is about making a point.

Like an alpha male displaying dominance? I'll go find those little blue pills then...

[Noxx79]

If you find yourself DREADING to come to work each day, it's time to find something new. Being extremely unhappy will only affect your work performance negative, even if only unconsciously, and when you start to do a worse job, that will only affect your job prospects negatively.

It may be a difficult decision, but try to find somewhere else.

[Azadina]

Here's a comparison between two emails I got from similar level managers. Apparently I am on the radar because, well, being long term ill isn't compatible with their philosophy.

I report directly to the manager from email 2 in the management chain.

Well, the second email is pretty direct "take this to prove your usefulness, or get fired"

So it's up to you to either accept, or quit/get fired.

[zenkai]

Stop giving a shit what assholes think and you will be a much happier person.

[Independent voter]

I always look for work even when I'm working. I don't know the tech climate there but here if you stay a year and quit they assume you were pushed out, but leaving a job at 6 months is cool.

I eventually found a good fit but not after a lot of trying.

[Mistame]

At the expense of sounding crass, it seems like you're upset because your manager hurt your feels by not sugar-coating facts. While suffering from an illness is certainly something to take into consideration, it is not the responsibility of an employer to take a production hit because of it. They're there to make money. If you aren't making them money, you're of no use to them. If you want to work there, you have to do the job. If you don't want to be there or can't do the job, quit. And frankly, if you want to work in an environment where everyone's "nice", try a rainbow factor or unicorn farm.

[Afrospinach]

Gotta be honest I do not see anything "toxic" about those emails, they are your bosses not your parents.

+1 mistame didn't have the heart to say it myself

[glo]

Your management is there to direct you, not coddle you.

[Dundebuns]

At the expense of sounding crass, it seems like you're upset because your manager hurt your feels by not sugar-coating facts. While suffering from an illness is certainly something to take into consideration, it is not the responsibility of an employer to take a production hit because of it. They're there to make money. If you aren't making them money, you're of no use to them. If you want to work there, you have to do the job. If you don't want to be there or can't do the job, quit. And frankly, if you want to work in an environment where everyone's "nice", try a rainbow factor or unicorn farm.

Getting both sides is fine. I thought this all the time, but when trying to force through I just made myself bad again. Didn't help that before I joined this company I was on main line, and they set me in the worst possible department (no innovation, just running the same scripts over and over again) to the point where they were setting me up to be selected for redundancy. A manager friend of mine told me that that was pretty much how they did it, and anyone with a period of illness was chopped.

I can take being talked to in a stern but fair way, but the way this manager mismanages is quite extraordinary. I have to add that I was employed as a developer. I haven't had a single piece of development work in the 3 months I have been there.

[Belize]

I fail to see how that environment is toxic. Sadly for you, you're not employed to get acclamated to medication, but to work. If you've taken up your alloted sick days, the tough shit. Especially if you're a developer (as it sounds like you are). The truth is we CS devs are a dime a dozen right now in most enployment fields (most, some fields are still looking for any competent IT/Devs).

You are replacable, so you have 2 choices: work, or quit and be replaced.

[Annoying]

Does the UK have a long-term sick leave law like the US does? We have the FMLA here, which guarantees you won't be fired for long-term sick leave.