Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst
1
2
3
LastLast
  1. #21
    The Lightbringer Violent's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,019
    Quote Originally Posted by Speaknoevil View Post
    Yes it is still a violation.

    This is one of those no right answer situations, it is not okay to go through someone's things without permission and it is not okay to cheat. What she did is a lot worse, but.. yeah.
    I see, and of course, I agree.. But then again too, if I didn't have any reason before hand to not trust her, I wouldn't have looked at anything...
    <~$~("The truth, is limitless in its range. If you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt.")~$~> L.F.

    <~$~("The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware he is wise.")~$~> I.A.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Violent View Post
    I see, and of course, I agree.. But then again too, if I didn't have any reason before hand to not trust her, I wouldn't have looked at anything...
    In my opinion if you ever feel the need to go through someone things you can keep the ethical highground by waiting for them to make a mistake visibly, even looking for one in the open or confronting them about your suspicions.

  3. #23
    The Lightbringer Violent's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,019
    Quote Originally Posted by Speaknoevil View Post
    In my opinion if you ever feel the need to go through someone things you can keep the ethical highground by waiting for them to make a mistake visibly, even looking for one in the open or confronting them about your suspicions.
    Wouldn't this be a VISIBLE mistake though? A slip up? Because she saved her PW to the email and what not accessible to, not just me, but everyone or anyone who may use my PC.
    <~$~("The truth, is limitless in its range. If you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt.")~$~> L.F.

    <~$~("The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware he is wise.")~$~> I.A.

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Violent View Post
    Wouldn't this be a VISIBLE mistake though? A slip up? Because she saved her PW to the email and what not accessible to, not just me, but everyone or anyone who may use my PC.
    Not IMO.

    If she had left the message open on the screen yes, but when you start going through it, no.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Speaknoevil View Post
    Wrong.

    Nothing less attractive than an insecure man.
    I really hope you are just misreading what was said and not just trolling with this message and the previous one. It's not her ex sending her the message, SHE sent it, while she was with the OP. She is absolutely in the wrong here, and the OP isn't.

    Edit: Nvm OP said something about it, guess I should have read further down but meh.

  6. #26
    The Lightbringer Violent's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,019
    Quote Originally Posted by Daren View Post
    I really hope you are just misreading what was said and not just trolling with this message and the previous one. It's not her ex sending her the message, SHE sent it, while she was with the OP. She is absolutely in the wrong here, and the OP isn't.

    Edit: Nvm OP said something about it, guess I should have read further down but meh.
    I still don't think I was or am in anyway wrong. Shit like that, is WRONG to do.
    How or If one gets caught, is really just not even relevant.. IMHO
    <~$~("The truth, is limitless in its range. If you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt.")~$~> L.F.

    <~$~("The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware he is wise.")~$~> I.A.

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Violent View Post
    Yeah, I did. We hit a rough patch not too long ago, because.. Well fuck it, because like 2 weeks after our 2nd year anniversary she left me out of the blue, for an ex of 13! years ago... With no explanation, no nothing and ignored me for 11 weeks. Then she came back to me, telling me how much of a mistake that was and "blah blah blah"..
    I took her back, because A) I'm an idiot. & B) I really DO love her.. A LOT. I wanted to marry this girl.

    But I told her, the trust will need to be worked on and shit like that.
    You had that happen. And took her back. You're terrible at dodging bullets, man.

    Dump the bitch.
    Cheerful lack of self-preservation

  8. #28
    Ryna is tapping that bigtime.
    "I'm not stuck in the trench, I'm maintaining my rating."

  9. #29
    The Lightbringer Violent's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,019
    Quote Originally Posted by LiiLoSNK View Post
    Ryna is tapping that bigtime.
    I guess that makes two of us then. Probably even more.
    <~$~("The truth, is limitless in its range. If you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt.")~$~> L.F.

    <~$~("The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware he is wise.")~$~> I.A.

  10. #30
    Dude GET OUT! One of the biggest mistakes I've done in my life was staying with my (now ex) after she cheated on me. I was afraid of being alone but the world is full of great non-cheating women and being alone for a little while is much better than living with the doubts Shinrael talks about.

  11. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Speaknoevil View Post
    Wrong.

    Nothing less attractive than an insecure man.
    Lol, insecure? Because women totally don't cheat! I must be coming up with these false stories to protect my ego and pride, right? RIGHT?! Get real.

    And what do you mean "wrong"? This isn't a theory, this is my life experience. I didn't just assume my ex-girlfriend was cheating. She was cheating. It is a fact. And the signs are there in this guy's post as well. And they are obvious. I spent so many months trying to believe it isn't true. Trying to fool myself so I could be happy. But in the end, I asked her and she told me the truth. And it hurt. And I learned many valuable lessons.

    Quote Originally Posted by Speaknoevil View Post
    Oh, break up then. Cheaters don't change. They are insecure and they HAVE to cheat to feel like they are important, because in a new or rekindled relationship they get renewed validation that isn't and cannot be present in a long term committed relationship.
    Oh, look who had a sudden change of gears. Nothing less attractive than a human who speaks bullshit and doesn't have the balls (or whatever women value... idk) to stand behind his/her words later. Or atleast apology. Bleauh.

  12. #32
    The Lightbringer Violent's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,019
    The worst kinda people are the ones who make you question the validity of your own sanity.

    On top of everything, her mother defends her behavior with...

    "Oh that's just how she is. She tends to call everyone babe or honey, and tells everyone Love ya, those messages look pretty harmless anyway."

    And says it doesn't matter because it's dated 09-23-17, and so, it's "old".. Just now 5 months? And? So if I go out and be disloyal in some way, as long as I don't get caught red-handed or some short time after, it doesn't count?

    And uhhhh, what? Like I haven't been with the girl for almost 3 years? That wasn't some pleasantry to some random 7\11 cashier or what have you. That's an ex-HUSBAND...
    And really, she only speaks like that to randoms or the public rarely. So, BS.

    She, (my gf, well soon to be ex) says, "Oh you're crazy and paranoid, stop listening to other people." When I bring up the issue of her not being honest with me, and that she's been (or did) exchange messages with her ex like that, while being in a committed relationship with me. I text her the screenshot that I have posted here, legit that was the entire content of my text, just the screenshot. 30 seconds later, her mom texts back with; "This is Roxxane. That is dated blah, blah. I am turning off my phone tonight."

    Like holy shit. I see where my ex gets her extreme reactions and irrational thinking from. Total lack of comprehending reality and no grasp on the concept of cause & effect.
    <~$~("The truth, is limitless in its range. If you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt.")~$~> L.F.

    <~$~("The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware he is wise.")~$~> I.A.

  13. #33
    dude, time to end the relationship it's getting toxic I bet if you dig for more evidence you'll find tons of it. What you accidentally saw was just the tip of an iceberg.

  14. #34
    It looks like she isn't over him yet actually.

  15. #35
    Void Lord Doctor Amadeus's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    In Security Watching...
    Posts
    43,694
    You're instincts are serving you well here, and on a scale of 1 to 10 for sure a 10, for all the reasons you pointed out. I am not one of those boyfriends that would freak out of my girlfriend had a mature and good relationship with her Ex's. In fact I would expect it.

    But that is a far cry from showing affection behind your back. Sounds like there is hiding, and you should be concerned where you put your trust.
    Milli Vanilli, Bigger than Elvis

  16. #36
    I'm not fond of reading people's personal information without permission, but neither I'm cool with clinging on (ex)-partners or other affair (candidates) behind other's back. As this is no relationship criminal court, where just punishments must be dealt to whomever has been violating whichever rule of human relations or whatever you like to call it. The bottom line is, that there's serious issues in your relationship, which to me seem like beyond repair worth attempting. The chances are that she gets over her ex, and you are able to kiss and make up, but seriously I would not bet too many pennies for such to happen. Better to let go and seek for a less of a minefield to start building on.

  17. #37
    Deleted
    I'd be concerned and upset too

  18. #38
    Deleted
    Accept the behaviour and possible cheating on her side and stay with her or dont accept it and part ways. One of the 2. Dont get too upset or emotional or angry. Relax and enjoy.

  19. #39
    Scarab Lord Skorpionss's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Bucharest, Romania
    Posts
    4,102
    Quote Originally Posted by Speaknoevil View Post
    I get messages like this from exes all the time.

    I do not answer these messages most of the time, sometimes I respond with a pity answer "haha yeah im having a good day."

    You however crossed the line in a big way.

    Receiving these messages means nothing, but your violation of privacy would be a deal breaker for a lot of women, myself included.
    Maybe you should take a minute and re-read and actually understand that it's the other way around? SHE is sending those messages, not receiving them.

    Anyway from reading up so far, I guess it's time to break up with her... Not only does she try to downplay this, trying to convince you it's no big deal, she also involved her mother... 2 huge red flags right there...

    Sorry but I think it would be best for you to end it now...
    Last edited by Skorpionss; 2018-05-07 at 05:52 PM.

  20. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by Violent View Post
    Would you be upset, (on a scale of 1 - 10), if your significant other called their Ex by affectionate names, such as "Baby, Honey, Babe, Sweetie", and the like AND says, "I love you", while they are in a relationship with YOU, but only says those things, not in front of you, but behind your back? AND THEN, hid it from you and denied it?

    A little back story; I've been with this girl for almost 3 years now. "Ryna", actually it's Ryan, is her ex-husband of like 4+ years ago. I found this today, (don't ask me how, I just did, period.) And they did not end it on a good note at all. And they are not, er, at least so I thought "friends" of any sort.

    (Apparently I'm paranoid and crazy because this pissed me right off.)

    Agree? or Disagree?
    (Clarification: She (my GF), sent Him (her ex-husband) this message. WHILE with me.)
    You have every right to be furious at her. This is not acceptable. If she was talking to her ex husband I wouldn't mind as such, but if there are terms of endearment in the message then there is definitely an issue there.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •