1) I think at this point some people need to realize there's a lot more people out there who ultimately want more character options and lore does not factor in. Blizzard agrees with the way they're doing increased customizations.
2) Sylvanas is no longer the leader of undead. The new 'acting in leader' atm is Lilian Voss. Who, no surprises, female undead can very much look like.
3) Nothing makes void elf players more special than undead players, just the same, undead players are no more special than void elf players.