The entire point of the Night Elves is that they were concepted to be a mix of the dark elven and wood elven fantasy tropes. Just as Blood Elves are the Warcraft franchise's original spin on traditional high elves, Night Elves were the original spin on wood elves.
https://www.lby3.com/2005/10/29/bliz...e-of-warcraft/
'Blood Elves were chosen as the Horde expansion race in the Burning Crusade because designers were thrilled with how well Samwise had redesigned the classic wood elves with the night elves. And they knew that, “one day, high elves are going to have to get a facelift, too.'
Wood Elves do not live in big cities. Wood Elves are not keen on any other magic than nature based ones. Wood Elves try and live in harmony with their enviroment. (The Dark Elf elements in Night Elf DNA are the matriarchal society with female warriors and male spellcasters).
You can see that the big divide in elven society on Azeorth is rooted in the original societal stratification of the old Night Elf empire, between the aristocratic Highborne magic users and those who were, for want of a better word, lowborne.
The Highborne shaped the Night Elf empire. When it came crashing down around them, those that hadn't sunk into the sea with Azshara and become Naga became the ancestors of the Blood Elves. The Blood Elves created a magical kingdom where the enviroment was bent to their will, in line with highborne beliefs.
In Suramar, the highborne sealed the city off and created an entirely new arcane energy source on which to live, the Nightwell. Suramar is a time capsule of what the old Night Elf Empire was, and that Empire was built in line with highborne beliefs. That they find the high elves of Silvermoon, the Blood Elves, to be kindred spirits is completely unsurprising.
The 'lowborne' though rejected all that. They rejected arcane magic. They rejected urban life. They rejected everything they felt had contributed to their fall. They created an entirely new culture centred around Druidism. Whilst a few void elves are part of the Alliance, and even fewer exiles, the rough division of the elves of Azeroth now maps onto the current faction divide. The highborne elves, the Blood Elves and the Nightborne, form a part of the Horde, meaning that 'Highborne' culture is pretty much a strand of Horde identity.
The wood elven theme of the Night Elves constitutes the strongest element of elven lore within the Alliance. Yes, a few highborne elves returned to the fold, but they don't live in a highborne culture. They live in the new Night Elf culture which de-emphasises any other magic than nature magic or the holy magics of faith in Elune. They are tolerated, just as Warlocks in Stormwind are similarly tolerated.
So I apologise for the long spiel, but I wished to back up your correct analysis. People need to accept Warcraft races as they are, instead of dreaming them into what they are not. The presumption must be, as it was with the character model redesign, that those playing a race already enjoy the fantasy behind it. Attempting to upend that fantasy because one individual doesn't like it and wishes it could be more like that of another race not only isn't going to happen, it's a fundamentally selfish aim because it's achievement would ruin what the people playing it now without issue are enjoying.
If anyone really feels the need to play a highborne elf in all their glory, the Nightborne are there for them. They are as close to a highborne as it possible to get. And the only reason they aren't exactly the same as the highborne is that their long isolation and dependence on the Nightwell have accentuated the traits that defined the Highborne in the first place. In other words, Nightborne are highborne taken to the next level.