Beta Key Giveaway Week 3: Winners have been selected!

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst
1
2
  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I just sort of 'did my own thing' growing up, our parents weren't all that involved.
    Ding. Ding. Ding.

  2. #22
    Ok just going over some of the topics you brought up OP,

    You need to unfuck yourself, If you don't like the way you look then what would you wanna change? You can go to the gym and work out,dye your hair...ect. As far as relationships go.. BE YOURSELF! If they don't like you move on cause life is to short to waste on fake friends/girlfriends.

    I heard a quote by Penn Jillete and it just kinda stuck with me "You are going to fuck it up,it just depends on how badly you do it" .

    Now what works for me when I get depressed I get my ipod (yes i still use one of those) and I go running listening to metal, but obviously listen to what you like.

    GL

  3. #23
    Warchief
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Denmark
    Posts
    2,182
    Quote Originally Posted by Heladys View Post
    Ding. Ding. Ding.
    Not everyone reacts the same way and just getting out instead of caging yourself requires a monumental shift in thinking and lifestyle. We're all creatures of habit and recognizing and changing routines is easier said than done.
    If you knew the candle was fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago.

  4. #24
    There will likely always be things you hate about yourself, it's what allows you to improve.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by X Amadeus X View Post
    Yes, but like with all things it takes practice, self hatings tendencies and the follies don't develop over night, so going the other direction also won't happen overnight.


    The bigger question is do you really want to, and by me asking that it still doesn't mean you will, if a certain habit is ingrained into your mind, it won't be easy to change, hell it maybe next to impossible.

    But if you seriously want any shot, you have to be able to answer that question first do you really want to stop your self hating tendencies?

    Keep in mind as with life with good come the bad, and with the bad come some good, things you truly like which is why you are the way you are now. Because in order to change you really need to know who you are, totally, and then make a decision to CHANGE, and then take those steps, and have the presence of mind to do so.


    Even then you will fail, but failure doesn't mean you have to keep failing, but you do need to stay committed and learn something each time you fail, get back to the habits that will lead you where you want to go.


    So with that said yes you CAN, however is it likely? Not unless you really know you want to, and can make the commitment to doing what it takes to change your habits. In my opinion.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Go to the gym and do what exactly? What if he doesn't have the kind of money for a membership?





    What if this person thinks their arms are too short, or legs are too long, or that their face is hideous then what?



    Figure out what alone, that doesn't sound specific, like get some rope or something? Hire a professional? Or are you just spouting utter nonsense.



    Such as yourself, so you haven't provided any specifics about what will help the OP?
    Could have sworn he said he was soon to be debt free.

  6. #26
    The Undying X Amadeus X's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    In Security Watching...
    Posts
    31,863
    Quote Originally Posted by xuros View Post
    Could have sworn he said he was soon to be debt free.
    So sign a contract to a gym with no actual plan to use it? Probably not the best way to stay debt free.
    "Intellect alone is useless in a fight...you can't even a break rule, how can you be expected to break bone" Khan Singh

  7. #27
    I am Murloc! jackofwind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Victoria, BC
    Posts
    5,373
    Quote Originally Posted by X Amadeus X View Post
    So sign a contract to a gym with no actual plan to use it? Probably not the best way to stay debt free.
    I understand the point you're making and I disagree with all the other things mentioned by the poster in question that you're replying to, but honestly as far as the gym is concerned it really is just a decision to go get fit. It's that simple. It's not easy to do necessarily, but there are only two steps required: eat healthy and exercise.

    If someone hates their body to the extent that it impacts their daily life they really ought to do something about it. The power is entirely in their hands.

    PS: You don't need a gym to get fit.
    Originally Posted by Blizzard Entertainment
    Because fuck you, that's why.

  8. #28
    one word. therapy. contrary to some callous bullcrap in this thread, if you could have stopped hating yourself without help? you would have. so. seek. help. go to a therapist and learn tools that will help you process and get past your self hatred and channel it into more constructive emotions instead.

    and yes, there is a huge difference between "I suck, I'm a failure" and "I didn't do my best here, lets figure out what I can do - to do better" whether you end up going to professional for help, or try research and working through it on your own, its work, often hard work. and its totally worth it.

  9. #29
    The Undying X Amadeus X's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    In Security Watching...
    Posts
    31,863
    Quote Originally Posted by jackofwind View Post
    I understand the point you're making and I disagree with all the other things mentioned by the poster in question that you're replying to, but honestly as far as the gym is concerned it really is just a decision to go get fit. It's that simple. It's not easy to do necessarily, but there are only two steps required: eat healthy and exercise.

    If someone hates their body to the extent that it impacts their daily life they really ought to do something about it. The power is entirely in their hands.

    PS: You don't need a gym to get fit.
    Agreed you don't need a gym. But honestly I think if the guy was going to do all the things mention he would have. I am not fan of this mind over manner, "just do it" idea.
    "Intellect alone is useless in a fight...you can't even a break rule, how can you be expected to break bone" Khan Singh

  10. #30
    Alright, so OP here, chiming back in.

    First, you're all absolutely right, I CAN do something about getting in better shape. I'm on a diet right now, and truth be told, I'm pretty sure that's a big reason I'm feeling like I am. It really does mess with your head, all this artificial shit that's been a part of my diet. I can absolutely afford a gym membership, but I don't even have to; my work provides a membership for free (like I said; it's an amazing job). I was going for a while, but since starting this diet, I've felt physically drained (which I was told I would for the first two or three weeks, and my body adjusts to having less sugar and carbohydrates).

    Regarding relationships... I honestly *didn't* learn the same things other kids did in high-school. Even back then, I used to look around and wonder "How do they do it? How do they all get girlfriends? What am I doing wrong?". So, even as a kid, I've always been too "in my own head". I don't know, I've just never been able to forge that kind of connection. I've always been "good with people", in terms of striking up conversations, to the point a number of people have remarked on it over the years. But I can never, I dunno, "make a move" I guess when it comes to women.

    There's one woman... We worked together over a year, and since leaving, we've started hanging out. It's really strange, because there's definitely a connection between us, but... I don't even know "what I'm supposed to do". I think, coupled with the diet, I'm also feeling paranoid that I'm going to either make the wrong move, or not make a move at all, or that I'm misreading what kind of connection we have, and I'm going to fuck it all up. Or even worse, I'll act in such a way that she thinks I ONLY want to be friends, and her feel betrayed if I show more interest?

    I feel pretty certain I'm always going to struggle with dark thoughts. Hating myself, pondering hurting myself (don't worry: I ONLY ever ponder it), whatever. But as much of a wimp or bleeding-heart I may come across on these forums, I can at least hold things together in real-life. I have a lot of practice internalizing this stuff, and even so, there are times I do feel genuinely happy. I think it's just sort of a 'perfect storm' of circumstances that I'm feeling a little more down than usual.

    What sucks is, when I feel this way, I'll try to tell myself "stop being a little bitch". But for some reason, it's just every now and then, some random thing will come along and just tear me right back down.

  11. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I was going for a while, but since starting this diet, I've felt physically drained (which I was told I would for the first two or three weeks, and my body adjusts to having less sugar and carbohydrates).
    Unless you're one of those "I can't live without meat and cheese" types, do not do keto which is what this diet sounds like. Look into a whole food plant-based diet where carbs aren't the enemy and you will feel the opposite of how you feel now (both physically and mentally) and still lose as much (if not more) weight. Keto also isn't sustainable, you'll put all the weight right back on as soon as you stop it and it is not a healthy long term way of eating.

    As for the rest, I apparently have really bad body dysmorphia (judging by what others tell me) and I'm not sure that'll ever change. I was overweight most of my life and bullied relentlessly for it throughout school. I lost 70 pounds two years ago, but I still see the same obese body in the mirror. Whenever I point someone out to a friend and say "that's what I think I look like" they tell me the person is twice my size. It's frustrating. I've been considering hiring an artist to do a portrait of me, maybe seeing myself outside of a reflection would make a difference.

    Regardless, stop beating yourself up, that doesn't help anything and only makes it worse. You're changing your eating habits, you're exercising, you're employed, you're doing better than a lot of people based just on what you're posting. Reminds me of something my Mom always used to say, "You're just as good as anyone else and better than most."
    "This dream I had, this long dream of kinship with those unlike me, it is gone." - Penny Dreadful

  12. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I think it couldn't hurt to be a bit more specific. By most accounts, I "grew up" a lot earlier than most of my peers. I dropped out of school to help with bills in high school, and juggled three part-time jobs while taking care of my grandmother. As far as "feelings", I don't know I was taught much one way or the other; I just sort of 'did my own thing' growing up, our parents weren't all that involved.
    1 have sex with a vagina, trust me it will do wonders.

    2 do the drugs. Get a bump of coke and plenty of marijuana, the coke will probably be harder to get.

    3 don't form any commitments, they're all lying pieces of trash who need to fucking die and will just be lying to you to turn you into their wageslave.

    If you didn't do the 1 and the 2, you're not improving actual intelligence. Next, you'll probably say some bullshit like "But I memorized lots of stuff in school and passed lots of tests without trying" well memorization is NOT intelligence, being able to instantly recognize mathematical patterns without even fucking trying and seeing ultraviolet writing and witnessing 120 fps micro-videos on your screen once a day with messages that lead you to Luminati party shit and smelling all 400 components of anyone's farts without trying and hearing the messages played at 1200 hrz that tell you where to go to pick up free money drops are intelligence.

    You ain't close to getting any of that shit if you haven't fucking done 1 and 2. Shit man.

  13. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I am a very fortunate person in a lot of ways. I have one of the best friends someone could ever hope for, I've worked hard and finally landed an awesome job, and soon I'll be debt-free.

    Yet, for my entire life, I've struggled with hating myself. Hating my appearance, that I don't stand up for myself more, how I never seem to be able to connect romantically with women (recognizing that it must be some flaw on my part)... The list goes on.

    I'm a 30 year-old man, and I guess I just always thought by now, these things wouldn't bother me. It feels so weird to be a grown man, and still constantly battle these insecurities. In some ways, I probably come off as a "regular joe", maybe even a bit gruff, but other times, I just feel so, so fragile. I obsess over things I hate about myself, over my appearance, what kind of person I wish that I was... and even though my life has gotten worlds better the past few years, I still feel the same.

    I wonder, have any of you ever struggled with these issues? Does it ever get better? I'm so terrified that I'm going to wind up sabotaging the only good things in my life, because I just can't seem to handle these emotions. And I also worry, having met a woman I feel I share a genuine connection with, that I'm going to fuck it up, either by being "unconfident/unsexy" or even "needy", hoping for someone who can fill the void that I feel has always been in my life.
    Maybe this question will make some people laugh, but have you tried "NoFap"?
    Your income seldom exceeds your personal development.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2vrNIH9kI

  14. #34
    Scarab Lord bungeebungee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dongbei, PRC
    Posts
    4,080
    Short answer: Yes

    Long answer: Yes, but you may need professional help to do it, and this thread is going to show you why mental health threads should get filed right next to medical advice threads as banned topics.

    There is no way for us to look for the root of your problem. There is no way for us to check and see if you have some form of medical condition that might influence your thinking. These are possibly things that should be checked.
    "No one -- however smart, however well-educated, however experienced -- is the suppository of all wisdom"
    Quote Originally Posted by Atethecat
    a century and a half isn't nearly enough time for say English to become intelligible
    Quote Originally Posted by Hubcap
    he's Chinese and won the Noble Peach Prize

  15. #35
    The Undying X Amadeus X's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    In Security Watching...
    Posts
    31,863
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    Alright, so OP here, chiming back in.

    First, you're all absolutely right, I CAN do something about getting in better shape. I'm on a diet right now, and truth be told, I'm pretty sure that's a big reason I'm feeling like I am. It really does mess with your head, all this artificial shit that's been a part of my diet. I can absolutely afford a gym membership, but I don't even have to; my work provides a membership for free (like I said; it's an amazing job). I was going for a while, but since starting this diet, I've felt physically drained (which I was told I would for the first two or three weeks, and my body adjusts to having less sugar and carbohydrates).

    Regarding relationships... I honestly *didn't* learn the same things other kids did in high-school. Even back then, I used to look around and wonder "How do they do it? How do they all get girlfriends? What am I doing wrong?". So, even as a kid, I've always been too "in my own head". I don't know, I've just never been able to forge that kind of connection. I've always been "good with people", in terms of striking up conversations, to the point a number of people have remarked on it over the years. But I can never, I dunno, "make a move" I guess when it comes to women.

    There's one woman... We worked together over a year, and since leaving, we've started hanging out. It's really strange, because there's definitely a connection between us, but... I don't even know "what I'm supposed to do". I think, coupled with the diet, I'm also feeling paranoid that I'm going to either make the wrong move, or not make a move at all, or that I'm misreading what kind of connection we have, and I'm going to fuck it all up. Or even worse, I'll act in such a way that she thinks I ONLY want to be friends, and her feel betrayed if I show more interest?

    I feel pretty certain I'm always going to struggle with dark thoughts. Hating myself, pondering hurting myself (don't worry: I ONLY ever ponder it), whatever. But as much of a wimp or bleeding-heart I may come across on these forums, I can at least hold things together in real-life. I have a lot of practice internalizing this stuff, and even so, there are times I do feel genuinely happy. I think it's just sort of a 'perfect storm' of circumstances that I'm feeling a little more down than usual.

    What sucks is, when I feel this way, I'll try to tell myself "stop being a little bitch". But for some reason, it's just every now and then, some random thing will come along and just tear me right back down.

    Diets end, and your habits got you into this, so again WHY do you want to change who you are?
    "Intellect alone is useless in a fight...you can't even a break rule, how can you be expected to break bone" Khan Singh

  16. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    Alright, so OP here, chiming back in.

    First, you're all absolutely right, I CAN do something about getting in better shape. I'm on a diet right now, and truth be told, I'm pretty sure that's a big reason I'm feeling like I am. It really does mess with your head, all this artificial shit that's been a part of my diet. I can absolutely afford a gym membership, but I don't even have to; my work provides a membership for free (like I said; it's an amazing job). I was going for a while, but since starting this diet, I've felt physically drained (which I was told I would for the first two or three weeks, and my body adjusts to having less sugar and carbohydrates).

    Regarding relationships... I honestly *didn't* learn the same things other kids did in high-school. Even back then, I used to look around and wonder "How do they do it? How do they all get girlfriends? What am I doing wrong?". So, even as a kid, I've always been too "in my own head". I don't know, I've just never been able to forge that kind of connection. I've always been "good with people", in terms of striking up conversations, to the point a number of people have remarked on it over the years. But I can never, I dunno, "make a move" I guess when it comes to women.

    There's one woman... We worked together over a year, and since leaving, we've started hanging out. It's really strange, because there's definitely a connection between us, but... I don't even know "what I'm supposed to do". I think, coupled with the diet, I'm also feeling paranoid that I'm going to either make the wrong move, or not make a move at all, or that I'm misreading what kind of connection we have, and I'm going to fuck it all up. Or even worse, I'll act in such a way that she thinks I ONLY want to be friends, and her feel betrayed if I show more interest?

    I feel pretty certain I'm always going to struggle with dark thoughts. Hating myself, pondering hurting myself (don't worry: I ONLY ever ponder it), whatever. But as much of a wimp or bleeding-heart I may come across on these forums, I can at least hold things together in real-life. I have a lot of practice internalizing this stuff, and even so, there are times I do feel genuinely happy. I think it's just sort of a 'perfect storm' of circumstances that I'm feeling a little more down than usual.

    What sucks is, when I feel this way, I'll try to tell myself "stop being a little bitch". But for some reason, it's just every now and then, some random thing will come along and just tear me right back down.
    I had similar struggles when I was younger (16 - 20) and truth be told, I would tell myself a lot "stop being a little bitch", but I would still be afraid to act when the opportunity came (or, in other words, I kept being a little bitch).

    What really help me was realizing that I regretted far more the things I did not do than the things I did wrong (with a good intention, obviously).
    I may not be an overachiever, but my Druid is richer than half of Venezuela.

  17. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I am a very fortunate person in a lot of ways. I have one of the best friends someone could ever hope for, I've worked hard and finally landed an awesome job, and soon I'll be debt-free.

    Yet, for my entire life, I've struggled with hating myself. Hating my appearance, that I don't stand up for myself more, how I never seem to be able to connect romantically with women (recognizing that it must be some flaw on my part)... The list goes on.

    I'm a 30 year-old man, and I guess I just always thought by now, these things wouldn't bother me. It feels so weird to be a grown man, and still constantly battle these insecurities. In some ways, I probably come off as a "regular joe", maybe even a bit gruff, but other times, I just feel so, so fragile. I obsess over things I hate about myself, over my appearance, what kind of person I wish that I was... and even though my life has gotten worlds better the past few years, I still feel the same.

    I wonder, have any of you ever struggled with these issues? Does it ever get better? I'm so terrified that I'm going to wind up sabotaging the only good things in my life, because I just can't seem to handle these emotions. And I also worry, having met a woman I feel I share a genuine connection with, that I'm going to fuck it up, either by being "unconfident/unsexy" or even "needy", hoping for someone who can fill the void that I feel has always been in my life.
    You're just a typical beta/omega male, man up!

  18. #38
    Hit the weights, buddy. Become biggest guy around and you will have the confidence of Terminator. Nothing will stand in your way.

  19. #39
    Claymore, I get it dude i my self turning 30 was a big opening change for me. before then i had issues with talking authoritatively hating my self and having over all confidience issues. But i feel like these are normal to an extent. But YOU need to figure out how best to over come these issues. What about your self do you not like. What is the root cause of the self hating. I am not the person to say man the Fk up because i feel like that doesnt really help anyone and its lazy and doesnt provide valid feed back. Look at your self in a mirror Talk to your self in a mirror. speak positive things YOU have to bost your self and learn to accept certain things

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •