Originally Posted by
Witchblade77
there is nothing toxic about being physically fit. its becomes toxic if you consider someone who is not as fit - not to be a man. stable and calm is good. wooden to the point of suppressing all emotion - toxic. head of the household - becasue you are best at it in your family? fine. becasue you think you should be by the virtue of having balls, never-mind if your wife might be better at things? - toxic. all of the virtues you have praised as masculine... are not necessarily male exclusive. they are just... virtues, period.
seeing a trend?
things that are toxic - judging masculinity based on completely superficial parameters. the only reason for example my hubs doesn't get branded a what's that misogynistic insult manly men love to use? a yes, a pussy. the only reason he is not labeled one thanks to having exactly zero interest in watching sports or getting drunk off his ass, or ogling women is because he (oh thank goodness /eyeroll) still has some hobbies that are viewed as masculine.. and well if they would fight him, he'd win in a physical fight. aint he lucky /another eyeroll
when you are judged whether you are a real man on a basis of how you look, or what you like (god help you if you like Barbara Streisand - GAAAAY /eyes roll all the way back to normal position), how well you suppress your emotions or how lewd you get - its just... awful. and its actualy awful both for dudes who fit the very narrow and shallow definition of manly. and for dudes who do not.
men trying to be manly may suppress their actual desires and preferences - which sucks. they may hold off or refrain completely from asking for help when they could really use it and end up hurting themselves (and/or others around them). they are judged by the rest of the world based on rigid and narrow and SHALLOW standards. men are simultaneously seen as more dangerous and less trust worthy, while also being expected to be protectors and most trustworthy.
and yes, its not just red pillers that acknowledge it, the main difference is red pillers are (oh the irony) as shallow as toxic masculinity is, they are actualy defending shallow standards... while blaming women for everything else.
and to the whatabout posts that are already popping up.
yes being a woman is difficult and annoying and full of its own shallow rigid requirements to be seen as a "real woman" many of which are actively contradictory. but. that doesn't mean that being a dude is easy in our society. its just difficult in DIFFERENT ways.