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  1. #1

    Advice: Do I go and visit my friend in jail?

    So I never expected to be in this situation

    A close friend I have known for a few years went through some "family stuff" last summer and disappeared from the grid for a few weeks worrying everyone. He reappeared and we spent the summer hanging out and being in a volleyball league together.

    A few months later in summer I get a text from him. In the message he told me he got busted for child porn and will be going away for a while. I haven't heard from him since. The few articles I have found indicate that his disappearance seems to coincide with his bust.

    WOW WTF

    This young man is in his early 20s, attractive, good career, all around good and genuine person. I care about him as a friend but this is pretty terrible.

    A mutual friend went and visited him in jail (I think he is awaiting trial. I'm not sure but I check court records often and haven't seen anything). He is being held about an hour away from me. Do I go visit to show my support even though this is a horrible thing?

    I mean I guess he has a real problem and he needs help. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Child porn, hes a grub. Ditch him.

  3. #3
    Dreadlord Sativex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slothybabe View Post
    Child porn, hes a grub. Ditch him.
    My friend was charged with child porn and it pretty much ruined his life.

    He was 18 and dating a 17 year old, she sent him a pic and her mom saw it on her phone and called the cops. He got charged and found not guilty, but still had the stigma attached with the charge and ended up moving across the country.
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  4. #4
    Void Lord Doctor Amadeus's Avatar
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    Not giving advice. But he’s your friend. If he’s in prison then the matter legally is resolved he can’t hurt children now so. It really is up to you maybe you can help turn his life around. If not those are the consequences of his actions not yours.
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  5. #5
    if you associate with known pedos/those who look at that shit then people will likely mark you guilty by association, don't let him drag you down and ruin your life likes he's ruined his
    We cannot go back. That's why it's hard to choose. You have to make the right choice. As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by EnclosedOne View Post
    if you associate with known pedos/those who look at that shit then people will likely mark you guilty by association, don't let him drag you down and ruin your life likes he's ruined his
    People with an iq over 50 won't though, so I don't know if that should bother you.

    I would at least talk about it with your friend, see what's what.
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  7. #7
    I was in a similar situation a few years back, however my former friend went to jail for assaulting his step kids.

    Just drop that person as a friend and cut them from your life. You don't want your connection and association with that person to taint your personal reputation.
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  8. #8
    Does he regret doing it (ie: is he repentant)? Or does he just regret getting caught?

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Hayduke View Post
    So I never expected to be in this situation

    A close friend I have known for a few years went through some "family stuff" last summer and disappeared from the grid for a few weeks worrying everyone. He reappeared and we spent the summer hanging out and being in a volleyball league together.

    A few months later in summer I get a text from him. In the message he told me he got busted for child porn and will be going away for a while. I haven't heard from him since. The few articles I have found indicate that his disappearance seems to coincide with his bust.

    WOW WTF

    This young man is in his early 20s, attractive, good career, all around good and genuine person. I care about him as a friend but this is pretty terrible.

    A mutual friend went and visited him in jail (I think he is awaiting trial. I'm not sure but I check court records often and haven't seen anything). He is being held about an hour away from me. Do I go visit to show my support even though this is a horrible thing?

    I mean I guess he has a real problem and he needs help. I don't know what to do.
    Depends on what is considered child porn in your country. Is it below 21? 18? 16? 15? 1-12?
    In Poland it's a crime if the other person is under 15 (and some circumstances 18), but generally I wouldn't consider my friend a pedo if he was banging a 17yo and wouldn't have any issues with visiting him. I wouldn't probably if he had pics or photos of like ~16~15. And definately wouldn't if they were even younger.
    Also depends if the "porn" was nudes send him willingly by the girl (w/o even asking for it) or some sick porn business shit. For what I've known some weebs got even convicted for hentai bullshit because it was considered child porn in some countries (Canada iirc).
    S.H.

  10. #10
    Light comes from darkness shise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sativex View Post
    My friend was charged with child porn and it pretty much ruined his life.

    He was 18 and dating a 17 year old, she sent him a pic and her mom saw it on her phone and called the cops. He got charged and found not guilty, but still had the stigma attached with the charge and ended up moving across the country.
    That is sad and ridiculous. Having sex with a 17 years old, or even 16, is the same as having it with an adult when BOTH around near that age.. just one is 18.. so what, big deal.
    We are such a puritan society for lesser things with no repercussions like this and yet you have bankers and other business men stealing millions, driving others to suicide (Greece) and nothing happens to them.

    ---------------


    OP, I would say go and see him. Now he will be in a completely different mind state than before because he is about to get in serious trouble that is life changing... Only now you might see his true face. Then you decide. This is obviously a life troubled person and it is ultimately your decision and you shouldn´t feel bad with what you end up doing, you also have to look after your life and others failures shouldn´t have to leave a stain in your life if you simply don´t find it worth it.

  11. #11
    Obviously go and see him lol, there's a SHITTON of cases where it was like 19-20y old guy bangs 17y old which she obviously wanted to do herself, some autistic neighboor/family member knows about that and decides to go to the police for the god fuck knows why(usually simply doesn't like the guy) and gg = ez fake charges and jail.

  12. #12
    if this person is your friend and you want to help him, you should go. It's not as though being a pedophile is contagious

    assuming this is more or less the real thing and not the kind of '19 y/o banging a 17 y/o' issue that sometimes gets prosecuted, this dude has a mental illness and could probably use the support figuring out what to make of his life going forward.

  13. #13
    Merely a Setback breadisfunny's Avatar
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    ditch him before his taint spreads to you.
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  14. #14
    Yes, I'd go see him and ask him whether they found 17 yo child porn or actual child porn. In the former case I'd be supportive, but in the latter case, I'd wish him good luck with his life and tell him not to come anywhere close to my properties ever again.
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  15. #15
    Scarab Lord Mister Cheese's Avatar
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    Drop his ass like a bad habit. He has bigger problems than child porn clearly if that is what he's even being charged with.

  16. #16
    All that matters is how you feel. If you want to visit him do it. If you don't then don't do it. This would be a good time to talk to him about what went do and your issue, if you have one, with what he did. Make your judgement of the situation while he is behind bars and once you have let him know. It is better than in 5 years or so him showing up on your door step unnounced or something and that WILL happen if you don't make a move now.

  17. #17
    The Unstoppable Force Puupi's Avatar
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    Of course you should go see him, because apparently you don't know jack shit what has happened or is going on. Go there, ask him and try to find out - once you talk to him you probably have a better idea how to proceed with your relationship with him in the future.
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    i was talking about horse cock again, told him to look at your sig.

  18. #18
    The Unstoppable Force Puupi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maklor View Post
    Why'd you want to be friends with a pedophile!
    That's something he should be thinking about after​ he has figured out what has actually even happened.
    Quote Originally Posted by derpkitteh View Post
    i've said i'd like to have one of those bad dragon dildos shaped like a horse, because the shape is nicer than human.
    Quote Originally Posted by derpkitteh View Post
    i was talking about horse cock again, told him to look at your sig.

  19. #19
    I am Murloc! shadowmouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hayduke
    This young man is in his early 20s, attractive, good career, all around good and genuine person. I care about him as a friend
    Nope! You need to get a serious case of "busy" until after the trial because you listed "attractive" in describing him.

    If he is acquitted, think about the evidence in court and think if you want to get drawn into that kind of environment because acquittal means there wasn't enough evidence to prove him guilty beyond reasonable doubt. Unfortunately, although there are circumstances like @Sativex described, for more traditional child porn there is a significant chance it will continue to be a problem and may get out of control.
    With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.

  20. #20
    The Unstoppable Force Puupi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maklor View Post
    The guy said "he was busted for child-porn" not sure what there is to figure out. If it had been something like him sleeping with a 17-year old he would certainly have worded it differently.
    "Busted for child porn" sounds like he had some porn material on his computer that involves underage girls.

    Now there is an ocean between babies getting raped and a 17 year old girl being naked in a photo when it comes to child porn material, but both of them qualify as such.
    Quote Originally Posted by derpkitteh View Post
    i've said i'd like to have one of those bad dragon dildos shaped like a horse, because the shape is nicer than human.
    Quote Originally Posted by derpkitteh View Post
    i was talking about horse cock again, told him to look at your sig.

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