Page 24 of 35 FirstFirst ...
14
22
23
24
25
26
34
... LastLast
  1. #461
    The Unstoppable Force Theodarzna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    21,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Moralgy View Post
    "My ideological camp", theo we have gone through this, when you assume you really end up making an ass out of yourself. My simple thing is, relying on another person to provide everything for you is short sighted, as detailed in quotes with kath there, and not my cup of tea.
    I know enough to know where you come from in thought. And it seems weird that I am projected as being reliant and not him. This kind of shows how little Motherhood is really valued by you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Crissi View Post
    i think I have my posse filled out now. Mars is Theo, Jupiter is Vanyali, Linadra is Venus, and Heather is Mercury. Dragon can be Pluto.
    сила лунной призмы составляет - Paleo-Conservatism with TERF characteristics.

  2. #462
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ziltoidia 9
    Posts
    17,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Connal View Post
    My parents also both worked, though made time for us after school. I was never "bad" I usually just stayed at home and read, or played with/programmed the computer.

    My brother on the other hand... that's another story, though he has, thankfully, gotten his life straightened out.
    It was part my parents, and part being a product of our environment. Our parents weren't anything close to well off, hence the log hours and over time just to get by. So we lived in the ghetto for the most part. Lots of crime, lots of poor people, lots of violence.

    We did get out eventually, but not till I was 16, and my sister was 20, so damage had already been done. It too me until I was around 25 to get my self straightened out. 13 years later, i'm in a really good place in life. But I feel if things were different growing up, i'd had been able to get where I am much sooner.
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

  3. #463
    The Unstoppable Force Theodarzna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    21,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Kathandira View Post
    I fortunately am able to cover our bills for the most part. She only has to pay her personal bills which is like $600 a month. I pay the other $3k. I'm trying to get her to the point with her art career where she can quit her full time job, and focus on her passion, her art career. Sort of that leap of faith you mentioned earlier. I have 100% faith in her that she can be an established artist, and I am working as hard as I can to provide her the life she always dreamed of.

    Unfortunately, that life doesn't include raising children since neither of us have the financial means to do these things along side of financially and physically caring for children.
    I take time to write and might write non-fiction history books. I'd rather write as a job and homeschool my own children.
    Quote Originally Posted by Crissi View Post
    i think I have my posse filled out now. Mars is Theo, Jupiter is Vanyali, Linadra is Venus, and Heather is Mercury. Dragon can be Pluto.
    сила лунной призмы составляет - Paleo-Conservatism with TERF characteristics.

  4. #464
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ziltoidia 9
    Posts
    17,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Theodarzna View Post
    I know enough to know where you come from in thought. And it seems weird that I am projected as being reliant and not him. This kind of shows how little Motherhood is really valued by you.
    Well, without you, he might not have children, which in essence means he wouldn't need you to raise his children since they wouldn't exist.

    BUT! He obviously wants a wife, and children, and he cannot have that without you. So he absolutely needs you and depends on you.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Theodarzna View Post
    I take time to write and might write non-fiction history books. I'd rather write as a job and homeschool my own children.
    Do that shit! That is awesome!
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

  5. #465
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ziltoidia 9
    Posts
    17,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Connal View Post
    *nod* that is good to hear that you worked on yourself. That takes self-reflection and a lot of people lack that today. Usually solely focused on the external world around them, and the next stimulating flapdoodle.
    Internal reflection, paired with external observation. I saw in myself what I saw in others and realized things needed to change or I wouldn't get anywhere in life. I saw those who were failing, and those who were succeeding, and I thought to myself, what the hell am I doing wasting all of this potential!
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

  6. #466
    Quote Originally Posted by Theodarzna View Post
    I know enough to know where you come from in thought. And it seems weird that I am projected as being reliant and not him. This kind of shows how little Motherhood is really valued by you.
    "Motherhood" won't feed the bills, and this world revolves around money. You can value raising a child very highly, but at the end of the day, your child will starve without an income in the house. From a pure "staying alive" situation, the income section of the house is going to be more important than the child raising part in that kind of situation. While in your current situation it does work since he does want a family, if he dies, you are lowkey screwed until you find a job that isn't just entry level and your child will suffer for it.

  7. #467
    Quote Originally Posted by Moralgy View Post
    That is one of the major pros to a stay at home mom, but after school kicks in, there is no real reason to be a stay at home mom during 7 am to 3pm other than cleaning the house, which both spouses can do equally, and resting, which if both spouses share responsibility with child care, isn't going to be a big deal.
    It is nice to have the option to stay at home, however, if you can afford it. At least part-time. I used to pull 12hr shifts at the hospital only to come home completely stressed out and drained of energy. A stressed out husband (from his job) greeted me at home. We decided this was noway to live and I stopped working for several years after that. The level of happiness went through the roof for everyone.

    Unfortunately, there aren't many couples who can get away with something like this these days. Companies keep putting more and more pressure on their workers (completely unchecked), and wages have been stagnant for decades. I can't blame young couples today for evaluating their choices very seriously.

    Both people in a relationship should be able to carry the family financially, independently. Things happen in life. If you can only rely on one person to support the family, think very long and hard before jumping into parenthood.

  8. #468
    Quote Originally Posted by Eveningforest View Post
    It is nice to have the option to stay at home, however, if you can afford it. At least part-time. I used to pull 12hr shifts at the hospital only to come home completely stressed out and drained of energy. A stressed out husband (from his job) greeted me at home. We decided this was noway to live and I stopped working for several years after that. The level of happiness went through the roof for everyone.

    Unfortunately, there aren't many couples who can get away with something like this these days. Companies keep putting more and more pressure on their workers (completely unchecked), and wages have been stagnant for decades. I can't blame young couples today for evaluating their choices very seriously.

    Both people in a relationship should be able to carry the family financially, independently. Things happen in life. If you can only rely on one person to support the family, think very long and hard before jumping into parenthood.
    If it made you happy that is great, but that isn't going to be the case for everyone. The people I am arguing with end up being in the camp of "it is bad and you would be happier if you stayed at home." It is what I even initially responded to in this thread, that it would not make me happy, personally, so forcing it on women is a bad thing.

  9. #469
    Epic!
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Portland, OR - USA
    Posts
    1,626
    Quote Originally Posted by Connal View Post
    Ideally there should be a balance, but humans do not seem to understand or stick long, to the concept of Temperance.
    Is this really about Temperance (which seems more synonymous with abstinence), or about moderation?
    Quote Originally Posted by Sulla View Post
    Senator Moore will be sitting in that seat and I hope it burns you to your core.
    Quote Originally Posted by Knadra View Post
    Trump did it so it's good. I put my faith in a strong political figure because I lack self-esteem and feel threatened by a changing world. Whoever stands against him is bad because I do not understand their arguments and I have a simple tribalistic mindset created through the consumption of right-wing media.

  10. #470
    The Unstoppable Force Theodarzna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    21,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Kathandira View Post
    Well, without you, he might not have children, which in essence means he wouldn't need you to raise his children since they wouldn't exist.

    BUT! He obviously wants a wife, and children, and he cannot have that without you. So he absolutely needs you and depends on you.

    Do that shit! That is awesome!
    He depends entirely on me to take care of him to some extent, he'd be tragically helpless without me, and on some level, he knows I could replace him if I chose. But in our relationship, I'm the one who comes from a much better off family. He is funny, good looking, loyal and good in bed.

    Our little family is effectively a matriarchy with me making demands and sitting like a queen bee. If he were more domineering maybe I'd be closer to a radfem and have Moralgy's opinions, but the fact is I have a kind of slave in my hand and a wonderful daughter to focus on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Crissi View Post
    i think I have my posse filled out now. Mars is Theo, Jupiter is Vanyali, Linadra is Venus, and Heather is Mercury. Dragon can be Pluto.
    сила лунной призмы составляет - Paleo-Conservatism with TERF characteristics.

  11. #471
    Epic!
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Portland, OR - USA
    Posts
    1,626
    Quote Originally Posted by Moralgy View Post
    "Motherhood" won't feed the bills, and this world revolves around money. You can value raising a child very highly, but at the end of the day, your child will starve without an income in the house. From a pure "staying alive" situation, the income section of the house is going to be more important than the child raising part in that kind of situation. While in your current situation it does work since he does want a family, if he dies, you are lowkey screwed until you find a job that isn't just entry level and your child will suffer for it.
    If he dies, she most likely will get a very large life insurance pay out.

    I know several of my friends who are married, that if the husband unexpectedly passed away, that the wife wouldn't have to work for quite a while, if ever again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sulla View Post
    Senator Moore will be sitting in that seat and I hope it burns you to your core.
    Quote Originally Posted by Knadra View Post
    Trump did it so it's good. I put my faith in a strong political figure because I lack self-esteem and feel threatened by a changing world. Whoever stands against him is bad because I do not understand their arguments and I have a simple tribalistic mindset created through the consumption of right-wing media.

  12. #472
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ziltoidia 9
    Posts
    17,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Connal View Post
    Yep, observation and reflection. Unfortunately we seem to mostly focus on one in our culture, and not the other anymore.
    And we can tied this into the actual subject of this thread. Incels, self reflection and external observations. Rather than focusing on the negative aspects they see in themselves, and the negative things they observe in others, perhaps it would be best if they started looking at the positives, or the potential to turn things around to be positive for themselves. It helped me when I felt lonely and isolated, feeling like life is leaving me behind and there was no hope for me to find happiness. I found solace in a new group of people who I felt I belonged to. People who were odd, quirky, and had a rough past, but were able to rise above it all and find their personal success and happiness.
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

  13. #473
    The Unstoppable Force Theodarzna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    21,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Moralgy View Post
    "Motherhood" won't feed the bills, and this world revolves around money. You can value raising a child very highly, but at the end of the day, your child will starve without an income in the house. From a pure "staying alive" situation, the income section of the house is going to be more important than the child raising part in that kind of situation. While in your current situation it does work since he does want a family, if he dies, you are lowkey screwed until you find a job that isn't just entry level and your child will suffer for it.
    Well there is no worry about that. So, given that the bases are covered, why not spend time with her and focus on other persuites?
    Quote Originally Posted by Crissi View Post
    i think I have my posse filled out now. Mars is Theo, Jupiter is Vanyali, Linadra is Venus, and Heather is Mercury. Dragon can be Pluto.
    сила лунной призмы составляет - Paleo-Conservatism with TERF characteristics.

  14. #474
    Epic!
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Portland, OR - USA
    Posts
    1,626
    Quote Originally Posted by Moralgy View Post
    If it made you happy that is great, but that isn't going to be the case for everyone. The people I am arguing with end up being in the camp of "it is bad and you would be happier if you stayed at home." It is what I even initially responded to in this thread, that it would not make me happy, personally, so forcing it on women is a bad thing.
    Definitely should not be forced to stay at home if you don't want to. But OTOH, it should definitely not be forced to go out and get a career, if you're happy being a housewife (and your finances support it)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sulla View Post
    Senator Moore will be sitting in that seat and I hope it burns you to your core.
    Quote Originally Posted by Knadra View Post
    Trump did it so it's good. I put my faith in a strong political figure because I lack self-esteem and feel threatened by a changing world. Whoever stands against him is bad because I do not understand their arguments and I have a simple tribalistic mindset created through the consumption of right-wing media.

  15. #475
    Quote Originally Posted by Theodarzna View Post
    Well there is no worry about that. So, given that the bases are covered, why not spend time with her and focus on other persuites?
    If it works for you, go for it, but for myself, I would rather plan for the future and possible "what ifs" more than feeling safe and thinking that income someone else is making for me is going to last forever.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaderas View Post
    Definitely should not be forced to stay at home if you don't want to. But OTOH, it should definitely not be forced to go out and get a career, if you're happy being a housewife (and your finances support it)
    Which I wouldn't argue against what so ever, I would just say "be prepared for the worse case scenario" when it comes to stay at home moms. I've seen 2 friends, probably ex friends at this point, have their husband leave them and they were shit out of luck without an income anymore. Child support doesn't pay enough when the man its coming from isn't super rich.

  16. #476
    Quote Originally Posted by Moralgy View Post
    If it made you happy that is great, but that isn't going to be the case for everyone. The people I am arguing with end up being in the camp of "it is bad and you would be happier if you stayed at home." It is what I even initially responded to in this thread, that it would not make me happy, personally, so forcing it on women is a bad thing.
    I am surprised you're giving those people a time of the day. If it makes you happy, however, keep banging your head against the wall. Have fun.

  17. #477
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ziltoidia 9
    Posts
    17,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Connal View Post
    Agreed, but some of them do not know any of this, as it does not come "naturally" and our society is mostly about "Just be yourself!"... what if "yourself" is a lonely, awkward loner?
    It could be. And if that is the case, then so be it for those folks, lol. They either have to learn to be content with being a loner, or make the change they want to see in themselves. Hopefully they have someone close enough to them that can lend them a helping hand to push them forward when they can't push themselves.
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

  18. #478
    Quote Originally Posted by Eveningforest View Post
    I am surprised you're giving those people a time of the day. If it makes you happy, however, keep banging your head against the wall. Have fun.
    I found arguing on this forum makes me far less argumentative at work with dumbasses. It is the only reason I came back here lol.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaderas View Post
    If he dies, she most likely will get a very large life insurance pay out.

    I know several of my friends who are married, that if the husband unexpectedly passed away, that the wife wouldn't have to work for quite a while, if ever again.
    It isn't always going to be a certainty unless you are from an already middle class or above family. At that point, you can ride the money your husband was able to pool in the bank account for a few years.

  19. #479
    Social Isolation is a problem, but the average person is heartless, so they have no problem in encouraging/demonizing already lonely people to remain the way they are.

    The lack of sympathy for other people is a much bigger problem that is also untreatable save for mass lobotomies that trick people into thinking others are worth loving save for "exceptions" (see: family, friends, wife, children).

  20. #480
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ziltoidia 9
    Posts
    17,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Connal View Post
    Currently, it seems that they just rot in their own hell, till one of the "braver" ones turn their living hell into reality, shooting up people, driving over people, etc, etc...

    And that growth, that trend, does not seem like it is slowing down in society.
    Tragically true. I can't even begin to come up with a potential solution for it. Nothing outside of the 'see something, say something' message that is being taught in some schools. I know there is potential for abuse of that system, but there is cause for its necessity as well.
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •