Incels, and what social isolation does to the mind

[Lazuli]

Hookers exist. You don't have to be pretty to work a job and get skrilla.

Instead of crying online 24/7 get the fuck out of your house, not only hot bitches exist.
Plenty of ugly ones who need love too lol a holes a hole m8.

Internet breeds this toxic fucking cancer, incels need to deal with life like a god damn man and quit being a bitch.

Thank god I was born with great features and a rock hard 2 inch cock or I could have been one of these losers.

[Claymore]

Sorry bud. I just read your story and was impressed but disappointed that you couldn't get laid. It sorta knocks the idea out that perhaps success means nothing when it comes to dating. I just used to hear from the people who boasted about confidence and success and that women would come naturally all the time and then I hear yours and am quite confused and befuddled by the reasoning.

I think a better way to look at it is... "being attractive" is more of a 'skill', than a state of being. You have to active pursue things to make yourself more attractive. Make healthy food choices, make yourself work out, make yourself actively seek out situations you can interact with women, and then make yourself actually talk to those women.

Easier said than done, obviously. A lot of insecurities constantly get in the way, so I just try to reflect on the source of those insecurities, ask myself if they're legitimate or not, and if so, what can I do to fix it.

[Kickbuttmario]

I will not have children... that does not bother me for a few reasons... one is I would be a horrible father.

But I took a different path for myself. I do have a partner though. And sex really is not my issue. But I also lacked meaning, and found the normal "grind" (job, home, sleep, job, etc, etc) to be hollow.

I found my meaning in theology, philosophy and science. I do not regret that.

I know what you are. I get it (even if you weren't, then you probably would be a father). That's not what I meant. I personally follow the belief that we're slaves to god, but what annoyed me is that we can't actually kill God unless we destroy that belief somehow. There are methods that I would like to try one day but there are some.

I never minded job home sleep job and so forth. The problem was the lack of a lady in my life. It really is true. Women are the death of duty and love is the answer to all.

[Halyon]

I'll be brief. I could have been an 'incel' as well, if not for me being, first, female (because female incels don't exist according to those who self-label as incels in majority), and a social hermit.

However. I realize that's a me problem. People are not obligated to pay attention to me when I withdraw from standard social activities. I have a tendency tp appear aloof and standoffish to people, somewhat to my own knowledge, mostly what I've been told, because now I have a few precious friends I can mostly be very upfront with, so getting more insight.

This doesn't make you an incel. The term is a misnomer if you ask me tbh. Anyone, literally anyone, can have sex at any time...ofc, unless you have ridiculously high standards. And this is coming from a person with often unreasonably-high standards. Mostly for myself but whatever.

Anyho, there are people who have problems connecting with other people due to whatever problem they have, be it temporary, more long-term (like autism for one), disability, whatever...they deserve help, but it can't helped if not acknowledged and sought out. That someone else gives a leg-up is pure luck/coincidence.

I will never call such people incels, and I can fully understand why they feel bad about themselves.

On the other hand.

On the other hand are the very vocal, oftentimes very mysogynistic, hateful, blatantly hypocritical scumbags who do not seek human relationship; they seek an appearence, a 'status'. The ones who just bark about wanting to just have a sexual debut have an awful tendency to balk at the obvious "then buy a hooker". Be it either because they don't wanna pay money for something 'everyone else is having for free, damn chads!', or they don't want to stoop to the 'subhumans' for their demands, or they want a 'loving relationship with a woman who wants me for who I am' when who they are tends to be very discommodating (I learned a new word!) for most other human-beings, male or female.

Criteria for the sort of the relationship they want often goes into something more akin to a subserviant who idolizes them no matter how grotesque they act towards them or others, likes and agrees everything they like and do, never hurts them, never disobeys, and is never smarter/better than them in any way other than what they want them to be, mainly caretaking aspects. And she must be cute/beautiful/etc, often the stereotypical arm-candy look, regardless if the dude in question themselves could actually 'looksmatch' this mythical unicorn. Because many talk a lot about this whole looksmatch BS and other PUA-esque shite that does no favors to the people stuck in this self-deprecating hate-filled rabbit-hole 'community' who can be saved, and deserve to be saved.

These are the people that we hear the most about, who gives label/movement/whatever such an utterly bad air about it, and I understand why.

Hence I don't think the label should continue it's existance.

[Heladys]

I'll be brief. I could have been an 'incel' as well, if not for me being, first, female (because female incels don't exist according to those who self-label as incels in majority), and a social hermit.

<snip>

Hence I don't think the label should continue it's existance.

Maybe talk to the *woman* who invented the label for herself? It's been taken over and claimed for themselves by the hateful shitstains you acknowledge, but it did have a beginning worth acknowledging. That you possess the self-awareness you demonstrated shows you to never have been one, credit to you.

[Shaderas]

All I can think about how to fix this. We really are fucking monkeys. And listening to you fellas tell me to search for higher meaning especially when none of you would even bother trying to find it is the ultimate hypocrisy. It's absolutely insane to hear it from you jerks.

Some of us are still in the process of discovering/searching for it. It's an ongoing thing, the journey doesn't really have an endpoint, not until we die.

A lot of people act tough here in the safe anonymity of this forum. But quite a few here would act differently in real life. Some of us are trying to help people out IRL too. Don't let random people on the internet get to you

[Halyon]

Maybe talk to the *woman* who invented the label for herself? It's been taken over and claimed for themselves by the hateful shitstains you acknowledge, but it did have a beginning worth acknowledging. That you possess the self-awareness you demonstrated shows you to never have been one, credit to you.

I know this, and is irrelevant to how the current blob has been hijacked waaay away from the original intent of what was a movement.

(And thanks, I spent a lot of time with introspection, since my need for socializing is very shallow xD)

[Heran]

I have never come across anyone whom labels themselves an incel who didn't hate women.

[Mormolyce]

I don't necessarily think it's a psychosis, merely a victim complex. People don't want to be responsible for their position in life. I was a boring teenager, and girls were not into me. I had lots of friends, but I was always on the edge, watching everyone else live more-exciting lives. That all changed right after high school. In high school, I was in sports, and did plenty of extra-curricicular activities, but I was terrified of talking to girls. When I first got into college, I picked up different hobbies. I got into street racing, still did sports, and also started more outdoor activities like skydiving, hiking, and even drinking/partying. In high school, I was always the sober one, not so much by the end of college. After college, I joined the Marines, and continued to do interesting things.

Most incels are average dudes. They just happen to be average dudes who want to blame others for not wanting to be around them. Of course, the flip side of that is that most popular guys are also average dudes... who just happen to be more interesting.

No, incels are way beyond regular jealous guys who can't get a date. Incel is when it metastasises on the internet and becomes an insane cult of self-hatred projected outwards.

- - - Updated - - -

Do they, do they really? They according to themself get raped

Talked to a lot, have you? LOL.

Let me guess, you've only ever seen them on the internet in LIBTARDS OWNED EPIC STYLE videos.

[Kickbuttmario]

No, incels are way beyond regular jealous guys who can't get a date. Incel is when it metastasises on the internet and becomes an insane cult of self-hatred projected outwards.

They're ugly dudes yo. That's all this is about.

[Mormolyce]

They're ugly dudes yo. That's all this is about.

Check out this asshole:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43892189

Physically, he's not particularly unattractive. Repulsive personality though, that's the actual problem.

It's really in their heads.

[Kickbuttmario]

Check out this asshole:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43892189

Physically, he's not particularly unattractive. Repulsive personality though, that's the actual problem.

It's really in their heads.

I know all about this but the truecels and the fellas in their 30s who are virgins all claimed it was their appearance.

[Mormolyce]

I know all about this but the truecels and the fellas in their 30s who are virgins all claimed it was their appearance.

I bet Rodgers did too. They're full of shit.

More accurately, they have the self-image of a bulimic teenage girl. Very similar phenomenon. I'm sure some of them are ugly, but a lot of the time it's dramatically exaggerated. And shit, the world is full of ugly people who manage to get laid...

The real reason they can't get dates is their toxic downward spiral of misery and self-loathing which manifests as repulsive behaviour towards others. Which they reinforce to one another online.

[Kickbuttmario]

I bet Rodgers did too. They're full of shit.

More accurately, they have the self-image of a bulimic teenage girl. Very similar phenomenon. I'm sure some of them are ugly, but a lot of the time it's dramatically exaggerated. And shit, the world is full of ugly people who manage to get laid...

The real reason they can't get dates is their toxic downward spiral of misery and self-loathing which manifests as repulsive behaviour towards others. Which they reinforce to one another online.

Whatever. Still ugly dudes on the low-end of society and are upset that no one cares about. Then are told that they need to rise up to feel accepted into society by money or rise above society through religion or some shit and become something different. Either way, the original method would've been better but the truth is they were bullied for their ugliness and got dismantled for it.

[Moralgy]

I bet Rodgers did too. They're full of shit.

More accurately, they have the self-image of a bulimic teenage girl. Very similar phenomenon. I'm sure some of them are ugly, but a lot of the time it's dramatically exaggerated. And shit, the world is full of ugly people who manage to get laid...

The real reason they can't get dates is their toxic downward spiral of misery and self-loathing which manifests as repulsive behaviour towards others. Which they reinforce to one another online.

A lot of the "ugly" incels end up being dudes that just dont take care of theirself. There was this one super skinny dude's picture that was going around as "im so ugly" on the reddit, before it was purged, and all the damn kid had to do was clean himself and get a flattering haircut and his appearance would drastically change. This is, in my opinion, the norm for most incels. They don't put in any effort, be it exercise, hygiene, or fashion, and then bitch about being seen as "ugly".

As you said, it isn't their looks that are killing their chances with women, it is a shitty misogynistic attitude mixed with a sense of entitlement that permeates incel mentality.

[Halyon]

Whatever. Still ugly dudes on the low-end of society and are upset that no one cares about. Then are told that they need to rise up to feel accepted into society by money or rise above society through religion or some shit and become something different. Either way, the original method would've been better but the truth is they were bullied for their ugliness and got dismantled for it.

I was bullied. A lot. That didn't make me hate all men. I hate bullies, regardless of their gender.

The incel community really is a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom because they poor fuel on the fire in spades, and encourage others to do so, not how people can get themselves in better shape, be it mentally and/or physically.

[Theodarzna]

A lot of the "ugly" incels end up being dudes that just dont take care of theirself. There was this one super skinny dude's picture that was going around as "im so ugly" on the reddit, before it was purged, and all the damn kid had to do was clean himself and get a flattering haircut and his appearance would drastically change. This is, in my opinion, the norm for most incels. They don't put in any effort, be it exercise, hygiene, or fashion, and then bitch about being seen as "ugly".

As you said, it isn't their looks that are killing their chances with women, it is a shitty misogynistic attitude mixed with a sense of entitlement that permeates incel mentality.

IMHO, there are some who could improve with just a sense of style or a better haircut. But I tend to believe that the reason for their appearance might be a personality defect or bad parenting. If I have a son I am not letting him control his fashion choices, ever.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

IMHO, there are some who could improve with just a sense of style or a better haircut. But I tend to believe that the reason for their appearance might be a personality defect or bad parenting. If I have a son I am not letting him control his fashion choices, ever.

Yeah, I'm sure being the kid who's mom picks out his clothes for him every morning won't cause him any social issues at all...

[Doctor Funkenstein]

Ok? Good for him. It's not someone I'd ever be intimate with because I'd feel disgusted by it.

All you've proven here is that you're a disgusting human being, not him.

[Theodarzna]

Yeah, I'm sure being the kid who's mom picks out his clothes for him every morning won't cause him any social issues at all...

If he touches a fedora or a graphic t-shirt with a video game character or a wolf howling I'll smack that kid.