Mentally Ill: Gut feeling vs. Rationality

[Ashleyxoxo]

I am literally afraid of playing music out loud, not because I think it’s rude, but because it gives people room to insult me. Like, they could be rude to me, and by extension about my tastes. Also, music is personal to me, so I feel like if they’re paying attention to what I’m listening, then they’re staring into my soul. But if I rationalize it, I know that no one cares to listen in.

One of the problems with being mentally ill, is that I’m at a constant conflict between my instinct and rationality. Like, sometimes I feel like something bad is going to happen, but there’s no rational basis for it. Malcom Gladwell’s book Blink shows that your gut feeling is usually right. But if you’re mentally ill like I am, can you really trust what feels so right for you?

What do you guys think? Am I being rational about keeping my tastes and intellect to myself? Should I trust my gut or rationalize things out instead?

[Video Games]

Go buy a tub of tiramisu and watch k-on

[Calfredd]

What do you guys think? Am I being rational about keeping my tastes and intellect to myself? Should I trust my gut or rationalize things out instead?

Same answer everyone gives Tsugunai: Get help.

[RobertoCarlos]

If you would let someone make a judgement on you because of your taste in art it just tells me you still have a lot of maturing to do.

Nothing to do with mental illness.

[Ashleyxoxo]

Same answer everyone gives Tsugunai: Get help.

I am seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, but I’m still afraid of playing music out loud.

[Stelio Kontos]

Why are you making "pay attention to me" threads like this when there are children starving out there, OP?

Oh, please. There are children starving to death, but we should all come together to mourn some costume party dweeb. Right.

[Azadina]

I am seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, but I’m still afraid of playing music out loud.

How honest are you with them? Because it sounds like it's not doing a whole lot.

[Ashleyxoxo]

Why are you making "pay attention to me" threads like this when there are children starving out there, OP?

I’ve been homeless and begging for food thanks to a system that discriminates against the mentally ill. So I am one of those starving children.

[Stelio Kontos]

I’ve been homeless and begging for food thanks to a system that discriminates against the mentally ill. So I am one of those starving children.

Everyone's got something they could make a sob story out of. Besides, you're wasting valuable time using this forum as a personal blog that could be used saving all those starving children.

[Ashleyxoxo]

Everyone's got something they could make a sob story out of. Besides, you're wasting valuable time using this forum as a personal blog that could be used saving all those starving children.

And everyone’s “sob story” matters despite your desire to turn them into a statistic. My post was elaborate and relatable — nothing like the “blog posts” I was making when I first joined.

[Stelio Kontos]

And everyone’s “sob story” matters despite your desire to turn them into a statistic. My post was elaborate and relatable — nothing like the “blog posts” I was making when I first joined.

Or the thread you shitposted in where I quoted you? That mattered to people and it didn't stop you from shitting in it.

[deathchainin]

just go on an anti depressent it helped me not think about what people care about, sometimes medication is needed becaause your brain doesnt have the right chemical balance. The only thing you can do is not to care and just listen to music out loud and free yourself from the chains of your mind.

[khazlol]

I think people will dislike you more for making noise than your taste in music.

[Yadryonych]

I think people will dislike you more for making noise than your taste in music.

Thank you for accurately expressing my thought, kind sir

[Naramag]

If you are mentally ill, you should learn to distinguish your thoughts from the other stuff. But it takes time. I am now at a stage where I am thinking something (sounds completely rational and logical) and then immediately know that these thoughts are not mine. It is difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced something like this.
But in the end, that what's it all about. I am still mentally ill, but I know now when my illness speaks and when not. An illness like that will never be cured, you just learn do control it, instead of the illness controlling you.

[InTheEnd]

As long as you aren't being too loud and disruptive, I don't see the problem in playing your music. I doubt many people will be judging you for the type of music you listen to. Extreme sensitivity is actually an indicator of paranoia. It's a big world and with 7.7 billion other people out there, I doubt many care about judging you for playing music.

[Ashleyxoxo]

I'd love to say trust in your psychiatrist but I still feel compelled to ask, are you on any antipsychotics for these paranoid delusions?

Yes, I am on antipsychotic medication.

[Ohmmega]

I am seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, but I’m still afraid of playing music out loud.

I use a headset, problem solved. But frankly everyone has their hobbies, you don't need to justify your music style, and most mature people understand this, so listen to whatever you like, if it's too loud for someone, use a headset or lower the volume

[Ashleyxoxo]

Have you talked with your psychiatrist about the fact you continue experiencing delusions? I mean I see you are taking it to the forums here and in my personal experience many of us just don't say everything we should to our doctors. Antipsychotics don't always fit people well enough and you might need to change medications. I have friends who had to change drugs around for years until they got a good fit.

Yes, I told her I’m still paranoid, but still I get the same useless meds. Fortunately, I will be getting a new psychiatrist soon.

[Software]

I am seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, but I’m still afraid of playing music out loud.

Don't be afraid to be afraid. You must give yourself a little bit space to act on what you feel, as long as it doesn't hurt you or somebody (or something) else. You've got professional help, thats realy good. Buy a headphone and mabey give yourself enough time to heal. Be patient ;-)