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  1. #81
    Can rarely bring myself to say a person's feelings are wrong, or their decisions in a relationship. If tyrannical control is what she needs to be happy with this guy, and it works for her, great. Clearly cheating is a massive deal to her since she is having this reaction, so that she is trying to find any way at all to stay with him is a sign of love. If he loves her so much that he's willing to accept what amounts to a massive punishment over almost nothing, well good for him too. To me, it seems like their relationship is careening toward destruction and they would be better off splitting to save as many sanity tokens as they can by splitting asap. I doubt she'll be able to really let this go, and I doubt he'll be able to stop himself from repeating some version of it again.

  2. #82
    Bros before hos. Especially when a control-freak is involved.

  3. #83
    I am Murloc! crakerjack's Avatar
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    The fiance has every right to be annoyed. Her partner made out with someone else without asking if it was ok. When you're in a relationship, you're committed to that person and you shouldn't be sexually intimate with anyone else except for them (unless you're both in agreement and have set boundaries). I personally would have dumped him right away, not just because he made out with someone else, but because he made out with someone of the same sex. Why is that a problem? Because that person hasn't found themselves yet and are still trying to piece themselves together. There's alot of things that go into a functional relationship and one of the most important things is knowing who you are. People will continue top grow/change until we die, but until you find your path in life, you'll constantly be hopping to another path in hopes that it's yours.

    Clearly this dude was unsure of what path he was on and still needs to find his. She should just pack her bags and jump ship. There's nothing good that can come from being around someone who doesn't know their sexuality when they're well into their 40's. Let them find someone else who wants to help piece them together and put forth that effort. Most of us have this all situated by the time we hit 30.
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  4. #84
    Quote Originally Posted by Sliske View Post
    My opinion: Don't kiss people while you're in a monogamous relationship you fucking hoe
    Fair enough, but there are def. issues here appart from just a one-of kiss.

  5. #85
    Quote Originally Posted by gaymer77 View Post

    That's just the thing. The way he talks about the kiss is as if it was something recently not in the past. He talks like it happened AFTER the guy & girl got together not BEFORE. The problem is when he's called out to specifically state when the kiss happened (before he met the girl, before the got engaged, or after they were engaged) he flat out refuses to answer the question saying "its not relevant to the situation". Judging by THAT reply one can only assume it happened after the guy & girl were at least dating if not engaged and that it was relatively recently.

    ***UPDATE***

    He finally commented about the time this happened and sure enough it happened after the guy & girl were engaged but it was "several months ago".
    Even if it happened after they were engaged, her reaction/response to what happened is far beyond a reasonable reaction to it. It is a sign of a lack of trust/other issues within the relationship (I'm not going to speculate as to where they are originating from or who it is with the jealousy/trust issues, but there clearly is some).

    Basically, sure if they had kissed after the guy was engaged they should have told the girl because the guy should have known his fiancee would have an issue with it so they should talk about it and be open and honest. Her response should be to talk to both her fiancee and the friend and talk through what happened, not go zero to cut-them-out. Even worse that she goes straight to saying "you can't have any guy friends at all!" which seems to indicate their might be a fear/knowledge that her fiancee is in the closet and neither one of them are being honest to each other and themselves about it.

    So no one is the good guy in this situation, and their marriage is doomed to fail even before this whole kissing incident.

  6. #86
    Warchief Nero Duskwind's Avatar
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    IMO, all parties involved fucked up. There was an intimate moment that shouldn't have been had in the first place and placing ultimatums and restrictions on a partner is the WORST possible way to resolve the aftermath. That couple simply doesn't belong together and they're going to be miserable if they try to force the marriage to work.
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