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  1. #1
    The Undying Doctor Amadeus's Avatar
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    5 Things in your experience lead to long romantic love, or just great friendships?


    5 Things in your experience lead to long romantic love, or just great friendships?

    I don't have a lot of friends, or close relationships, but of those I do, I have known at least 10 years of better. Any Romantic relationship I have ever had, I never stopped loving or caring for the person I was with even if things didn't work out.

    I think to invest in someone, whether it's a romantic relationship of long term friendship there is always a risk, I think we are all fucked up and damaged in our own ways, but in my experience these are my five takeaways maybe you can share yours.

    1. Trust is the most important
    2. Loyalty
    3. Commitment
    4. Realism
    5. Wanting to be together

    Love isn't always enough, but those I would say are my five take away.
    "Intellect alone is useless in a fight...you can't even break a rule, how can you be expected to break bone" Khan Singh

  2. #2
    A Weak personality.

    Stuborn strongwilled people in my experience are the the people with the least long lasting friendship and least functional relationships. It doesn't matter if your being objective, and your correct, more often than not people don't give a rats ass about that, they would much rather have you agree with them, no matter how much they say otherwise. Yes sometimes you are in the mood where you are ready to face facts, and you will be okay with your best friend or partner being objective, but what about the days you don't have the energy for it? after those long work days where nothing worked out like it was supposed to and your clolleagues threw u under the bus, so your boss chewed your ass out. on those days? not so much.

  3. #3
    Brewmaster Dwarfhamster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tumile View Post
    A Weak personality.

    Stuborn strongwilled people in my experience are the the people with the least long lasting friendship and least functional relationships. It doesn't matter if your being objective, and your correct, more often than not people don't give a rats ass about that, they would much rather have you agree with them, no matter how much they say otherwise. Yes sometimes you are in the mood where you are ready to face facts, and you will be okay with your best friend or partner being objective, but what about the days you don't have the energy for it? after those long work days where nothing worked out like it was supposed to and your clolleagues threw u under the bus, so your boss chewed your ass out. on those days? not so much.
    Uh seems sorta personal and specific ... everything alright there?

  4. #4
    I'll go with two -- Communication and being with a partner who is self-sufficient. It's a relief when both parties can talk to each other about anything and they're with each other because they want to be not because they need to be.
    Last edited by Captain N; 2019-06-10 at 03:58 AM.
    "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life."
    - Jean-Luc Picard
    “You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”
    ― Malcolm X, By Any Means Necessary

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwarfhamster View Post
    Uh seems sorta personal and specific ... everything alright there?
    Nothing a bong and a beer can't fix. You live, you learn

  6. #6
    The Undying Doctor Amadeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tumile View Post
    A Weak personality.

    Stuborn strongwilled people in my experience are the the people with the least long lasting friendship and least functional relationships. It doesn't matter if your being objective, and your correct, more often than not people don't give a rats ass about that, they would much rather have you agree with them, no matter how much they say otherwise. Yes sometimes you are in the mood where you are ready to face facts, and you will be okay with your best friend or partner being objective, but what about the days you don't have the energy for it? after those long work days where nothing worked out like it was supposed to and your clolleagues threw u under the bus, so your boss chewed your ass out. on those days? not so much.
    I think there is the idea of having friends or romantic relationships then there is the reality. I think of it like people who love kids, because they are an aunt or an uncle, kids are cute especially when they are little.

    However they aren't always cute, sometimes they are man and petty and vicious as fuck, and without a self governing ability developed, I Think it can be a terrifying prospect.

    Same thing with relationships, see a beautiful women or man, in a relationship or maybe a model you might like unfortunately sometimes from TV and what not. The problem is again that's an idea, and not all the way realistic.

    Most people who generally have their shit together are some of the most attractive kinds of people to want, the problem is usually someone like that already has someone they have invested in, and has invested in them.

    But it takes time to build that I think and I think most of the time it doesn't work. Because some things you have to learn and figure out with experience.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Tumile View Post
    Nothing a bong and a beer can't fix. You live, you learn
    Is that really a cure though?

    Nothing wrong with doing what you want, and very few things in life cure all things, but I think escaping rather than dealing with an issue is just a form of coping.
    "Intellect alone is useless in a fight...you can't even break a rule, how can you be expected to break bone" Khan Singh

  7. #7
    Immortal Stormspark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Amadeus View Post

    5 Things in your experience lead to long romantic love, or just great friendships?

    I don't have a lot of friends, or close relationships, but of those I do, I have known at least 10 years of better. Any Romantic relationship I have ever had, I never stopped loving or caring for the person I was with even if things didn't work out.

    I think to invest in someone, whether it's a romantic relationship of long term friendship there is always a risk, I think we are all fucked up and damaged in our own ways, but in my experience these are my five takeaways maybe you can share yours.

    1. Trust is the most important
    2. Loyalty
    3. Commitment
    4. Realism
    5. Wanting to be together

    Love isn't always enough, but those I would say are my five take away.
    Trust, loyalty, and commitment all kinda go together, they are all sides of the same coin. But yeah I agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tumile View Post
    A Weak personality.
    Um...no. While being excessively stubborn can put a damper on things (both partners should be willing to compromise), being a weak doormat is not a good thing.

  8. #8
    The people I feel like I can be 100% myself when I'm with them, are the ones who I've learned to cherish more.

    I used to have a lot of friends who I felt like I couldn't be myself around them and I often prioritized them over the ones who I could be myself around. As I've gotten older, I've learned to switch that up and I feel way more happier about the people I now spend more of my time with.

    A good example, I have a have a friend who I've known for 11 years. We know everything about each other, no secrets(at least on my end) but I would often hangout with someone I barely knew over him, because I thought they were cooler. As the years went by and those friends come and go, I've learned the one that's been there the whole time who would drop anything to hangout is the guy who I've been able to be 100% myself with.

    I don't have a list of 5, but I think Realism, if that's what you meant by it, is the most important thing to a great friendship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Amadeus View Post
    I don't have a lot of friends
    Also... no surprised!
    j/k

  9. #9
    Titan Aggrophobic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Amadeus View Post

    5 Things in your experience lead to long romantic love, or just great friendships?

    I don't have a lot of friends, or close relationships, but of those I do, I have known at least 10 years of better. Any Romantic relationship I have ever had, I never stopped loving or caring for the person I was with even if things didn't work out.

    I think to invest in someone, whether it's a romantic relationship of long term friendship there is always a risk, I think we are all fucked up and damaged in our own ways, but in my experience these are my five takeaways maybe you can share yours.

    1. Trust is the most important
    2. Loyalty
    3. Commitment
    4. Realism
    5. Wanting to be together

    Love isn't always enough, but those I would say are my five take away.
    It's a tad odd that you put "Wanting to be together" as number five on that list. Wouldn't that be like the number one becuase if you just don't want to be with someone then the others stuff hardly matters at all, does it?

  10. #10
    Mostly its about weeding out the psychopaths. Look at the group. Now weed out people who are confident and gossip about others. You have just removed all the psychopaths. The rest will make good friends. The end.

    Unfortunately in modern society, we do not teach this. We teach that we should value confidence. WRONG. We don't do anything about gossip. WRONG. So people can get VERY VERY screwed up because they get infiltrated by psychopaths that destroy their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kokolums View Post
    I want the ruins of K'aresh for 9.0 as I envision it as Netherstorm on steroids. A broken, shattered world. Eco-domes are stuck on various chunks to protect flora & fauna. I imagine a K'aresh ocean & maybe some islands contained in an eco dome or a snow-capped peak with some jungle valleys in another. Flesh version of Ethereals that never got altered. Space platforms as in Starcraft. Just a totally fantastic tileset & theme that I'd be very keen to explore. They could do some wild things.

  11. #11
    The Undying Doctor Amadeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aggrophobic View Post
    It's a tad odd that you put "Wanting to be together" as number five on that list. Wouldn't that be like the number one becuase if you just don't want to be with someone then the others stuff hardly matters at all, does it?
    List is not in priority order.
    "Intellect alone is useless in a fight...you can't even break a rule, how can you be expected to break bone" Khan Singh

  12. #12
    Titan Aggrophobic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Amadeus View Post
    List is not in priority order.
    Oh, well never mind then.

  13. #13
    From my perspective, the most important thing is an attitude of constant progression. It doesn't matter where you start from as long as you are always trying to get better. This includes better in your ability to love, your ability for patience, your ability for long-suffering, your ability to communicate, and so on.

    If both partners are moving towards that same goal then I really don't see a marriage/relationship ever failing.

  14. #14
    Sense of humor.
    .

    "This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can."

    -- Capt. Copeland

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Amadeus View Post
    I think there is the idea of having friends or romantic relationships then there is the reality. I think of it like people who love kids, because they are an aunt or an uncle, kids are cute especially when they are little.

    However they aren't always cute, sometimes they are man and petty and vicious as fuck, and without a self governing ability developed, I Think it can be a terrifying prospect.

    Same thing with relationships, see a beautiful women or man, in a relationship or maybe a model you might like unfortunately sometimes from TV and what not. The problem is again that's an idea, and not all the way realistic.

    Most people who generally have their shit together are some of the most attractive kinds of people to want, the problem is usually someone like that already has someone they have invested in, and has invested in them.

    But it takes time to build that I think and I think most of the time it doesn't work. Because some things you have to learn and figure out with experience.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Is that really a cure though?

    Nothing wrong with doing what you want, and very few things in life cure all things, but I think escaping rather than dealing with an issue is just a form of coping.
    Absolutely it is, dull over the lonely period as you start finding new people to fill the gap thats left behind, There isn't really an issue to deal with, just a shitty situation where there isn't really much you can do, just keep all arms and legs within the vehicle and survive the ride, you'll come out the other side just fine.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Stormspark View Post
    Trust, loyalty, and commitment all kinda go together, they are all sides of the same coin. But yeah I agree.


    Um...no. While being excessively stubborn can put a damper on things (both partners should be willing to compromise), being a weak doormat is not a good thing.
    My Definition of a weak personality is someone who is Willing to bend their own morals and ideals, not because they believe in them, but for someone else. even though you don't believe in something, you go along with it.

    Example, I personaly am not religious, I don't think religious people are evil or bad, but I do wholeheartedly think that every religion is pretty fucking evil and cruel. Now I don't care what people believe in, i can respect their right to do so, but hell is gonna freeze over before you drag me to sunday church. Because that would be me condoning something that i think is evil.

    This is not a healthy mindset for a relationship, but on the other hand, i would never be able to respect a human being who willingly did that, i would never be able to respect myself if i did that.

  16. #16
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    Conflict: All relations are built upon it and it's handling.

    I don't personally respect anyone I don't butt heads with on occasion. Those other people are either meek and looking for someone to dominate them and that isn't my kink. Or they're waiting to bury a knife in my back when I get complacent again. One isn't worth my effort and the other is only worthy of note until I can figure their angle and whether I can turn it to my advantage.

    Also, having similar hobbies really helps.
    O Flora, of the moon, of the dream. O Little ones, O fleeting will of the ancients. Let the hunter be safe. Let them find comfort. And let this dream, their captor, Foretell a pleasant awakening

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by kasuke06 View Post
    Conflict: All relations are built upon it and it's handling.

    I don't personally respect anyone I don't butt heads with on occasion. Those other people are either meek and looking for someone to dominate them and that isn't my kink. Or they're waiting to bury a knife in my back when I get complacent again. One isn't worth my effort and the other is only worthy of note until I can figure their angle and whether I can turn it to my advantage.

    Also, having similar hobbies really helps.
    It's also usually the case that people who don't voice the issues they have with their partners or friends can lead to resent towards those people and it just builds up until they can't handle it anymore. They let a bunch of small shit that isn't a big deal just ruin everything because they don't tell you it bothers them and that leads to everything else just seeming worse when in reality they now have a bias because of this resentment.

  18. #18
    Sex kept me and my girlfriend together for the first 3 months or so. We really didn't know how to talk to each other without making the other angry. The fact the sex was so great was likely what kept us from breaking up. We fought so, so much the first three months. She didn't like how brutally honest and open I was and I didn't really like her ego. We both trimmed down a lot.

    After that, adapting and making compromises. Been going on seven years now. We're both extremely open to compromise and it works out well. Sometimes it sounds like a business transaction, but it works for us. Just hit seven years together in April.

    So sex and compromise for me. Trying out each others hobbies is a big 3rd.

    All these people with this "Love, honesty, loyalty, and trust are more important than sex" bullshit are not right IMO. Sex is just as important. If it's there, it's much easier to feel good about yourselves and each other.

  19. #19
    Drugs and a basement with a strong padlock
    The doom of worlds wakes once more!

  20. #20
    Pit Lord
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrollHunter3000 View Post
    It's also usually the case that people who don't voice the issues they have with their partners or friends can lead to resent towards those people and it just builds up until they can't handle it anymore. They let a bunch of small shit that isn't a big deal just ruin everything because they don't tell you it bothers them and that leads to everything else just seeming worse when in reality they now have a bias because of this resentment.
    Exactly. If you have a problem, be frank about it. Don't pussyfoot around, don't bottle it, if they don't know you have a problem then they can't change, or at least acknowledge it. Me and my best friend have come to blows more than once, and he's the only person I'd trust to have my back in a life or death situation.
    O Flora, of the moon, of the dream. O Little ones, O fleeting will of the ancients. Let the hunter be safe. Let them find comfort. And let this dream, their captor, Foretell a pleasant awakening

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