This highlights the other factor that is often forgotten in this kind of discussion. Outside of your settings, your GPU/CPU, your addons, the resolution you are attempting to play also plays a considerable part in the equation. Two people with similar rigs, but at two different resolutions will not have the same experience.
Combine this with the fact that there are a fair amount of raiders who have their entire UI customized, along with boss timers and WA for everything under the sun, it's very easy to see how two similar rigs can have drastically different performance. Just look at most WF/Streamer raiders, for example, and you'll notice that they have replaced pretty much every single aspect of the default UI, and have all sorts of other stuff strewn across their screens.
Edit:
https://imgur.com/a/tp4wPbt
This if from one of the videos OP post, from some top end M+ azshara kill. Note all the things being added via addons/WA. The game is designed around the default UI. Every element you replace is done so with, generally, a less optimized version.