Pressing Chargest against/suing family?

[gaymer77]

When my fiance & I started looking for a place to move into on our own (we previously have rented rooms from people) we discovered his mother took out several credit cards in his name totaling several thousand dollars and a electric bill in my name with over $3200 in collections now. We had to file a report with the local police department to press charges against her and I'm having to take her to small claims court since PG&E told me their internal fraud department could take 60-90 days just to complete their investigation and it would take another 60+ days to remove it off my credit reports if/when it is proven fraud. This was one of the most difficult things my fiance has had to do and when he told his mother she either needed to pay them off immediately or he would be forced to do what the credit card companies said THEY needed (the identity theft charges filed) she started guilt tripping him and told him how "I always have loved you" and "would you really want to put your mom in jail" and "if I go to jail your sister and grandpa have nobody to look after them. It really got me wondering, have any of you guys had to press charges against and/or sue a family member?

[Lorgar Aurelian]

I came rather close while investigating missing money from my bank account. About $2000 went missing and as I check my bank rather regularly I noticed and checked in with my bank to try and find out how. After a few weeks of investigation on my banks end they said they couldn’t do anything unless I went to the police and then they would have to press charges on who ever did it even if it was someone I knew.

I had instantly thought it was my sister stealing from me when I found out I was missing money but of course she denied it and with no proof I let it slide and let the bank do it’s thing. The night before I would have gone to the police she of course admitted to it as she knew she’d be ducked.

I wasn’t Even angry or disappointed as I knew what she was like and that she was the kind of person to do such a thing. I was just kinda annoyed as I had given her another 1000 the week before she stole from me and would have given her the money if she needed it but instead had to jump though hoops with my bank.

She of course said she’d pay me back but I haven’t gotten a dime and I Don’t expect it.

[breadisfunny]

no but i would have zero issues with taking them to court. i have no empathy for thieves.

[NaNaaru]

Not exactly the sueing them directly but me and my siblings currently sue a religious organizations which forced us to have our mother funeral in a certain way we don't agree with. My uncle is siding with them saying that they did nothing wrong and that we should be ashamed. My uncle is a pretty shady guy who lost all my grandparents money to gambling and now this religious organization is probably threathing him about losing his job (working in a semi religious city)

[TEHPALLYTANK]

No, but that is because the statute of limitations has long since expired on the crimes committed by the family member I'd like to charge (Texas is absolute shit when it comes to the statute of limitations on domestic violence).

[Yunru]

If they stole the money, they will do it again. Also if your fiance is financaly capeable, he should simply cut ties with a family.
Guilt tripping is a strategy of psychological manipulation and his mother could be a narcissistic.
Also if you sue some1, stop talking to them and use a layer as a middle man betwen 2 people.

Change your phone numbers, your address (if possible), every account code (yes even video game one) and make yourself harder to track. If they end up hiring a detective to follow you, then you can call the police for harrasment.

[Zaktar]

When my fiance & I started looking for a place to move into on our own (we previously have rented rooms from people) we discovered his mother took out several credit cards in his name totaling several thousand dollars and a electric bill in my name with over $3200 in collections now. We had to file a report with the local police department to press charges against her and I'm having to take her to small claims court since PG&E told me their internal fraud department could take 60-90 days just to complete their investigation and it would take another 60+ days to remove it off my credit reports if/when it is proven fraud. This was one of the most difficult things my fiance has had to do and when he told his mother she either needed to pay them off immediately or he would be forced to do what the credit card companies said THEY needed (the identity theft charges filed) she started guilt tripping him and told him how "I always have loved you" and "would you really want to put your mom in jail" and "if I go to jail your sister and grandpa have nobody to look after them. It really got me wondering, have any of you guys had to press charges against and/or sue a family member?

The real question is why would you steal your family member's identity? If it just slides, will it happen again? Letting them take advantage of you to the point that they could ruin your life seems like a recipe for disaster.

[Temp name]

I have not, but hoooooly shit your fiance's mother seems like a cunt (from that story). I'd have no problems suing my family for identity theft of both me AND my significant other though.

From what you say she's said, she's a manipulative cunt, and she has no regret literally stealing thousands of dollars from you and her own son, and then sticking you with not only the bill, but also fees for delinquent pay.

"If you put me in jail x will have no one to talk to".. You didn't put her in jail, SHE put herself in jail for doing this shit. Keep reminding yourselves and her of that.
If she needed money she could've asked instead of stealing

[God Save The King]

That's a tough one.

My father abandoned me as a child but managed to hold onto enough documentation and got address records from the court system ("visitation" and all that). When I turned 18 he tried to open a bunch of junk in my name. That caused a bit of a stir and I think he might have served time for fraud and other crimes? I am not 100% on that since I'm not involved with him at all.

If my mother had done that, I would have done the same thing. There is not an option for the fraudster to pay the stuff off and fix your credit report. You have to file fraud, get the police involved, etc, or else your credit will be in shambles for a decade or more. If the family member is willing to destroy your financial life for their own benefit, then I don't think they honestly care about you, and you shouldn't have an issue resolving the matter.

[Flarelaine]

When my fiance & I started looking for a place to move into on our own (we previously have rented rooms from people) we discovered his mother took out several credit cards in his name totaling several thousand dollars and a electric bill in my name with over $3200 in collections now. We had to file a report with the local police department to press charges against her and I'm having to take her to small claims court since PG&E told me their internal fraud department could take 60-90 days just to complete their investigation and it would take another 60+ days to remove it off my credit reports if/when it is proven fraud. This was one of the most difficult things my fiance has had to do and when he told his mother she either needed to pay them off immediately or he would be forced to do what the credit card companies said THEY needed (the identity theft charges filed) she started guilt tripping him and told him how "I always have loved you" and "would you really want to put your mom in jail" and "if I go to jail your sister and grandpa have nobody to look after them. It really got me wondering, have any of you guys had to press charges against and/or sue a family member?

Never had to, but would not hesitate to go to court in such circumstances.

[gaymer77]

If they stole the money, they will do it again. Also if your fiance is financaly capeable, he should simply cut ties with a family.
Guilt tripping is a strategy of psychological manipulation and his mother could be a narcissistic.
Also if you sue some1, stop talking to them and use a layer as a middle man betwen 2 people.

Change your phone numbers, your address (if possible), every account code (yes even video game one) and make yourself harder to track. If they end up hiring a detective to follow you, then you can call the police for harrasment.

Oh I know for a fact she is 100% a narcissist. She told my fiance "well you knew about such & such card and how I was trying to establish your credit for you" when the truth is she told him AFTER the first bill came to the house AFTER she had went to Las Vegas (we live by Fresno, CA) to get HER teeth fixed using Care Credit for $1000. The Care Credit was paid 3 times before she quit paying it. She opened up a Vallero, Walmart, Victoria's Secret, Fingerhut, Capital One, and another card in his name totaling nearly $10k between all the credit she took out in his name alone. I feel bad now for all the times I forced him to spend time with his family for holidays & special occasions. I told him when all of this went down that sorry couldn't begin to explain how bad I felt about doing that to him. He's chosen to severe ties with his side of the family with the exclusion of two sets of aunts & uncles which have been extremely supportive of us during this and other shit that's happened. Hell both of them have been burned by his mom too so they know firsthand what she's capable of.

The real question is why would you steal your family member's identity? If it just slides, will it happen again? Letting them take advantage of you to the point that they could ruin your life seems like a recipe for disaster.

The answer to this question is she has fucked up credit herself and couldn't take cards out in her name. She can't even have a bank account because she owes a bank money she can't pay back (not a loan but like bounced checks, INF fees, etc etc). She knew all his info because she's his mom.

I have not, but hoooooly shit your fiance's mother seems like a cunt (from that story). I'd have no problems suing my family for identity theft of both me AND my significant other though.

From what you say she's said, she's a manipulative cunt, and she has no regret literally stealing thousands of dollars from you and her own son, and then sticking you with not only the bill, but also fees for delinquent pay.

"If you put me in jail x will have no one to talk to".. You didn't put her in jail, SHE put herself in jail for doing this shit. Keep reminding yourselves and her of that.
If she needed money she could've asked instead of stealing

She didn't steal money from us directly but took out credit in his name and my name too. Yes she is very much a manipulative cunt. Part of her whole guilt trip was telling him "oh I know he's turned you against the family and this is why you're doing it". I think I & my fiance said it very nicely to her about the whole situation when I finally got sick of hearing from her and from her via my fiance about how she feels about everything going on (she told him she wasn't talking to me because I'm "rude and disrespectful and threatening" when I said we're having to go to the police to file reports:

HIM:
"Bobby (that's me) did force me to go to family stuff because I didn't want to be there with you guys. Bobby is not turning me against the family. You were actually the one that did that. Bobby isn't forcing me to go to the police to report the fraud. I am choosing to do that. You can send me pictures of the same damn things he has seen online for places but that doesn't show you care or are helping. He's called every place you've sent me already and every one of the automatic deny you if you have a utility bill on your credit report. You can't remove it from your credit report until it is paid off in full. You can't make monthly payments and have it removed. You are to blame for the situation we're in because you haven't even made a single payment on anything in his name or my name since a year and a half ago. It's great you care about grandpa and Deja (his sister who's 13 & lives with his mom) but they're not going to be homeless because you care about them not me."

ME:
"I'm well aware of what I've posted. I'm also well aware that you have been trying to guilt trip Jordan in private messages because he's finally standing up for himself when it comes to how you treat him. I'm also well aware that you've told him how I have turned him against you. Truth of the matter is you should be thanking me for all the times I literally forced him to attend family functions because he didn't want to see you. After us repeatedly being denied housing because YOU owe over $3200 to PG&E in my name I gave up on forcing him to continue to have a relationship with someone as toxic as you are to his wellbeing. You don't care for him. You didn't even care for him growing up. You pawned him off on your family to raise instead of stepping up as a mother and taking care of him yourself. You even said yourself numerous times how it was your parents who raised him.

I said it a few days ago and I'll say it again now. I'd suggest you and Martin going to take car title loans out on your cars to pay the $3200 you owe to PG&E. You have nearly $10,000 in credit card debt you illegally took out in your son's name by committing identity theft. All I know is we will be going down to the Fresno police station on Tuesday if we aren't given the money owed for PG&E. There is a paper trail a mile long linking you to identity theft in his name."

[Cosmic Janitor]

Don't go soft on her. Someone who does that is corrupt to the core and wouldn't hesitate to throw you under the bus the moment the tables were turned. At least make sure to cut all ties and keep evidence if she tries to do it again, these types of things can come back to haunt you years down the line and are no joking matter.

While I didn't have to do it myself I had a case among my friends who cut all ties with his mother for years until she finally realized she really fucked up.

[gaymer77]

Don't go soft on her. Someone who does that is corrupt to the core and wouldn't hesitate to throw you under the bus the moment the tables were turned. At least make sure to cut all ties and keep evidence if she tries to do it again, these types of things can come back to haunt you years down the line and are no joking matter.

While I didn't have to do it myself I had a case among my friends who cut all ties with his mother for years until she finally realized she really fucked up.

The ironic thing is my fiance even told her that if he had done anything remotely close to what she had done to us that her & the rest of the family would be quick to turn him in and tell him to rot in jail.

[zenkai]

When my fiance & I started looking for a place to move into on our own (we previously have rented rooms from people) we discovered his mother took out several credit cards in his name totaling several thousand dollars and a electric bill in my name with over $3200 in collections now. We had to file a report with the local police department to press charges against her and I'm having to take her to small claims court since PG&E told me their internal fraud department could take 60-90 days just to complete their investigation and it would take another 60+ days to remove it off my credit reports if/when it is proven fraud. This was one of the most difficult things my fiance has had to do and when he told his mother she either needed to pay them off immediately or he would be forced to do what the credit card companies said THEY needed (the identity theft charges filed) she started guilt tripping him and told him how "I always have loved you" and "would you really want to put your mom in jail" and "if I go to jail your sister and grandpa have nobody to look after them. It really got me wondering, have any of you guys had to press charges against and/or sue a family member?

Being family doesn't excuse them committing crime against you, fuck them, get them thrown in jail. If they take advantage of you and you do nothing about it, they will always take advantage of you.

[shadowmouse]

The general rule is that free legal advice is worth what you paid for it. Medical advice threads are banned for a reason and legal advice threads are equally dangerous. Go see a lawyer, you should be able to get a consultation free.

[Flarelaine]

The general rule is that free legal advice is worth what you paid for it. Medical advice threads are banned for a reason and legal advice threads are equally dangerous. Go see a lawyer, you should be able to get a consultation free.

I feel the question was seeking moral support more than legal advice. What you wrote is still correct, of course.

[I Push Buttons]

I'd be even more inclined to press charges if a family member stole from me. Its not just a theft, its a full on betrayal of your trust.

People who take advantage of their own family for selfish gain are garbage human beings and deserve to rot.

[Yunru]

I feel the question was seeking moral support more than legal advice. What you wrote is still correct, of course.

True, but its also a good idea to ask some people araund and get a few suggestions before going to layer. Maybe some1 had a similar experience and they can share it.

And if you want to save a little money, you can probaly ask some layer that does youtube for advice (those are generaly free).

Example of bad advice:

[ghotihook]

I have never had to press charges on any family member cause my family is not assholes. But if they did what happened to you guys I think I would have to.

[Puupi]

People who steal from their family members are god damn degenerates.