Marriage: I do or I don’t

[Draco-Onis]

So before there are zero reasons to get married.

And now I give reasons why, but they don't count?

Ok.

I wasn't the one who said zero I said for most people it's obvious every case will have exceptions and the country seems to be agreeing considering the rate of people getting married has fallen off a cliff and people living together rising.

[Fahrenheit]

Married for 13 years, together for nearly 16 at this point. People who say being married is hard or difficult or takes work are bizarre to me. My wife is my best friend and it has never felt like 'work' at any point. That being said, we chose to not have kids, so we don't have a major stressor of a lot of married couples, plus we both have successful careers , so money isn't something we stress about either.

[Witchblade77]

But that's not most people though if you don't need to bring your significant over to the US or for some kind of military benefit there really is no need for the average person to be married. There is no tax benefit either if anything you lose money a lot of time by filling together instead of separate.

unless you are filing itemized deductions (and in order for THOSE to be worth it, you have to have large enough investments, your own business, etc) - the largest standard deduction you can get in US is when married, filing jointly, so you are WRONG. Married, filing separately is where you get the lowest standard deduction.

[Poe]

If you aren't in the military or have a job that can benefit the spouse then what's the point of getting married in 2020 ?

I used the military as an example because at least in my home country, the military gives benefits too all the service member's direct family members. (spouse / children under a certain age).

[Shadowferal]

Month really isn't too important.
Although I've been fond of the idea of a Halloween themed event.

[Draco-Onis]

unless you are filing itemized deductions (and in order for THOSE to be worth it, you have to have large enough investments, your own business, etc) - the largest standard deduction you can get in US is when married, filing jointly, so you are WRONG. Married, filing separately is where you get the lowest standard deduction.

According to the Tax Foundation, a married couple's income may be subject to a penalty of up to 12% if they have children and up to 4% if they don't. This model assumes taxpayers use standard deductions and report only wage income.

That's not even going into the benefits of filling for government and local programs as a single parent whereas a married couple would not qualify due to the income threshold.

[Witchblade77]

According to the Tax Foundation, a married couple's income may be subject to a penalty of up to 12% if they have children and up to 4% if they don't. This model assumes taxpayers use standard deductions and report only wage income.

That's not even going into the benefits of filling for government and local programs as a single parent whereas a married couple would not qualify due to the income threshold.

and according to me having to just filed for our taxes, using standard deductions, as well as reading further then first paragraph - if you are filing jointly and are NOT in higher tax bracket - you are worst case scenario, getting the same deductions as if you were filing singly, best case scenario as it was in my case - getting a much larger deduction overall vs filing individual tax returns while single.

the penalties do not kick in until $600,000 a year or higher. most people are nowhere NEAR that bracket.

as for children penalties, they are very specific. are you qualifying for earned income tax credit right now? are you dating someone that does? because if the answer is no for both, then the only thing you are affected by is claiming your children as dependents.. which reduces your taxes.

reading even further only clarifies that if you are a richie rich making mid to upper 6 figure income, owning a mcmansion - maybe marriage is not the best as far as taxes go, but if you are a regular person, even if you are hitting that 6 figure income, but staying under quarter of mil for the both of you? you get marriage benefits as far as taxes are concerned. and that's just the start.

insurance tends to be overall cheaper for married couple vs buying it individually and its much easier to apply for and get insurance as a married couple vs what was the word? cohabitation.

now.. i'm assuming that you actualy want to be in a long term relationship with someone and do not have plans to separate. if that is not the goal - then the whole argument is moot. you shouldn't be getting married, and probably better off living separately as well.

[Draco-Onis]

and according to me having to just filed for our taxes, using standard deductions, as well as reading further then first paragraph

Your anecdotal evidence is irrelevant unless you are a certified tax accountant with tons of experience and have done the math. The tax code was changed under the Trump administration so it's a little better but for the average person with the median income there is no tax bonus to getting married if they are lucky they may avoid the penalty.

[Zan15]

Lol! Actually there are great benefits for it. Just need to find the right person. Statistically, married males are healthier and live longer. Does not apply to females however. I have seen studies which also show that a male widower, do not handle being alone near as well as a women do after one of the married couple dies.

And I have no issues at all with saying " I do". And keeping my married vows, are very important as any vow or commitment I make.

Most studies for this make the same mistake.
They do not include long term non married couples in the study.

What a few found were that long term couples who never went through the "marriage" trap have no significant difference in expectancy vs the married folks.


As long as you don't fall for the fairy tail wedding spending trap and just get married, and use the money otherwise spent on your future or a home then go for it.
Spending money on a huge wedding and an overpriced honeymoon was the worse mistake made.

[Witchblade77]

Your anecdotal evidence is irrelevant unless you are a certified tax accountant with tons of experience and have done the math. The tax code was changed under the Trump administration so it's a little better but for the average person with the median income there is no tax bonus to getting married if they are lucky they may avoid the penalty.

I'm literally mostly going by the linked article. so please do tell me about anecdotal evidence YOU yourself linked to me.

for an average person - getting married, assuming they are planning on staying married? is financially beneficial. not only in terms of taxes, but general ease of pooling resources. that doesn't mean that everyone should get married.

but please to NOT claim that there are NO benefits and only penalties to it. its not unlike buying a house. if you are getting a mortgage with plans on staying in that house long term and paying off that mortgage? its better then renting by far. but if you are only thinking of living there for a few years - the cost of closing costs, both from original purchase, and selling the thing - generally make it not even close to worth it (and before you bring up flipping - for most people who are not in construction business, best case scenario - you break even). people who are going into relationship with one eye already on separating out of that relationship? are most certainly better off NOT pooling their resources in any way, an that includes not getting married. that doesn't make marriage worthless, it makes it a choice that you are supposed to make for the right reasons.

[Draco-Onis]

I'm literally mostly going by the linked article. so please do tell me about anecdotal evidence YOU yourself linked to me..

Then you did not read it properly since it clearly states some not all couples receive a bonus that means the majority do not.

[Witchblade77]

Then you did not read it properly since it clearly states some not all couples receive a bonus that means the majority do not.

no U didn't read it properly, since it clearly states that penalties start at a certain income/home ownership/level of investments. and I did absolutely bring up the earned income tax credit as well.

I get it. somebody hurt you and you are now allergic to marriage. that's fine. no one is saying that you should be getting married. i'm merely refuting your claims that there are no financial benefits to marriage, and that includes your "most" claim. the reality, given average incomes of americans? for vast majority not planning on separating in near future marriage has more benefits than cohabitation. financially, including taxwise. on emotional level? that's depends on each individual relationship.

[Draco-Onis]

no U didn't read it properly, since it clearly states that penalties start at a certain income/home ownership/level of investments. and I did absolutely bring up the earned income tax credit as well.

I get it. somebody hurt you and you are now allergic to marriage. that's fine. no one is saying that you should be getting married. i'm merely refuting your claims that there are no financial benefits to marriage, and that includes your "most" claim. the reality, given average incomes of americans? for vast majority not planning on separating in near future marriage has more benefits than cohabitation. financially, including taxwise. on emotional level? that's depends on each individual relationship.

How does spending a ton of money on a wedding make your relationship better? I wish there was more definite statistical data to prove one way or another but the average tax return is around $3,000. The penalty or bonus is not life changing in any way shape or form and if you are financially savvy you shouldn't be getting a return from the government but adjusting it so that you owe and get nothing in return as the money is better in your pocket.

The divorce rate is around 50% so your claim about the benefits falls flat on the facts if you take that into effect there is a higher financial risk to marriage than cohabiting. I am not sure what you think my feelings have to do with anything I have been with the same person for 24 years.

[Mistame]

This angst against matrimony sort of seems like thinly veiled sexism if you ask for my honest opinion.

That's not how "sexism" works, like, at all.

I would not have qualified for many things, including making my wife an American resident on the path to citizenship for one example.

So you're saying it has anecdotal benefits. OK. But for most people, there are no real benefits outside of some dated sense of tradition and/or romance.

[Moe Szyslak]

How does spending a ton of money on a wedding make your relationship better? I wish there was more definite statistical data to prove one way or another but the average tax return is around $3,000. The penalty or bonus is not life changing in any way shape or form and if you are financially savvy you shouldn't be getting a return from the government but adjusting it so that you owe and get nothing in return as the money is better in your pocket.

The divorce rate is around 50% so your claim about the benefits falls flat on the facts if you take that into effect there is a higher financial risk to marriage than cohabiting. I am not sure what you think my feelings have to do with anything I have been with the same person for 24 years.

No one is forcing you to pay that much for a wedding. Just get a nice Dinner with the family and be done with it.


The important distinction is that no one has to be married, take the way you want but please don't act as if there were no good reasons to get married.

Additionaly, why is everyone afraid that the wife takes half of your stuff? Look for a wife who has her own stuff and doesn't need a provider.

[kamuimac]

no U didn't read it properly, since it clearly states that penalties start at a certain income/home ownership/level of investments. and I did absolutely bring up the earned income tax credit as well.

I get it. somebody hurt you and you are now allergic to marriage. that's fine. no one is saying that you should be getting married. i'm merely refuting your claims that there are no financial benefits to marriage, and that includes your "most" claim. the reality, given average incomes of americans? for vast majority not planning on separating in near future marriage has more benefits than cohabitation. financially, including taxwise. on emotional level? that's depends on each individual relationship.

why do you assume that anyone had to be hurt to not want to get married.

you have various typs of people - for example people living in polygamy relationships which in eyes of law in west doesnt exist and they are perfeckly happy but dont get married because it would hurt the person who couldnt do it because of stupid notion of bigamy . While if they would live in east in muslim countries or in africa they could be normally married

dont look at it so simplemindedly

[Mistame]

As others have pointed out there are other benefits as well, but surely they don't count either because reasons?

Sure. Anecdotal, subjective benefits. But from a rational, pragmatic perspective, there are no real benefits to marriage.

And as for the sexism comment if you don't understand what I'm saying it's okay to just not comment you know? Cuz obviously you don't lol

It's not the reader's responsibility to figure out what you're trying to say, it's your responsibility to deliver it correctly. Regardless, outside of you being drunk and randomly pushing buttons, there's only two contexts in which your comment could even make sense and neither falls under the umbrella of "sexism".

[tromage2]

Additionaly, why is everyone afraid that the wife takes half of your stuff?

It is called experience, i see it happen all around me year after year and i learn from it.
To stay boyfriend/girlfriend is fine and the government and lawyers stay out of your relationship no matter what the outcome will be.

[Bapestar]

It's always the people who are the most vocal about, never doing something, that end up doing it.

[Moe Szyslak]

It is called experience, i see it happen all around me year after year and i learn from it.
To stay boyfriend/girlfriend is fine and the government and lawyers stay out of your relationship no matter what the outcome will be.

So get a wife who makes as much as you do and voila the problem is gone.