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  1. #21
    We share an account. Smaller things we don't care about. We are smart, we keep it fair. If she wants to blast 500€ on a new purse, I'll be the last person to stop her. And in return she keeps our finances safe by keeping my retarded brain in check, otherwise I'd spend thousands on stupid stuff.

    But we try to balance it so that we continue to always have at least 5 digits on our account for safety reasons.

    Personally I don't value money too much. I prefer exchanging it for things that are more fun. She is the opposite. We fit well together.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Thereturn View Post
    This is what we did too and it works. Upto the point where you need a new kitchen and one person saved 20k and the other only has 2 in the bank.
    Obviously there are special considerations that come up, such as big-ticket items, etc. We try to balance as much as possible and keep everything separate, but we're capable of coming to agreements on stuff like this as well.

  3. #23
    The Insane PC2's Avatar
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    Based on all these threads i'm starting to get the feeling that significant other(SO) has just become a code word for the overly noncommital who won't get married...
    Last edited by PC2; 2020-08-12 at 02:44 AM.
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  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Thereturn View Post
    The other day my SO, my mom and me had a discussion about handling money and savings.

    We currently have a situation where we have a joint savings account where a set ammount is deposited into each month. This account is for stuff like extra deposits on mortgage, new kitchen, furnishing, etc.

    Besides that we have personal savingsaccounts in which a set sum is deposited each month (equal for both, as our wages are about equal).
    From which we can purchase whatever we want.

    And we have a joint account from which we pay everything like groceries and mortgage and utilities.

    To my mom and her so, which imo are rather old fashion its ‘weird’ to have 2 personal accounts as ‘whats mine is yours’ in a relationship. Im however somewhat reserved and split all costs 50/50 in case shit hits the fan.

    How do you handle these things with your SO and why?
    separate accounts - we dont count who spends what on what , just every 3 months she transfers me the amount equal to half of housing costs because i pay bills since apartment belongs to me . its almost instant because i track it in excell anyway .

    similiar with vacation costs - when we return we divide the cost we spend on hotels/travel

    works out very healthy in long run for us

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    Quote Originally Posted by PC2 View Post
    Based on all these threads i'm starting to get the feeling that significant other(SO) has just become a code word for the overly noncommital who won't get married...
    not everyone feels need to get married. if you feel good with each other there is 0 reason for marriage. especially with how messy divorces are nowadays.
    Last edited by kamuimac; 2020-08-12 at 06:27 AM.

  5. #25
    I am Murloc! Logwyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kamuimac View Post
    not everyone feels need to get married. if you feel good with each other there is 0 reason for marriage. especially with how messy divorces are nowadays.
    No not everyone. There are a number of financial reasons that being married could be better than not being married. Those are for the two people to decide as you say if they are beneficial or not.

    For me and so. We have a budget and joint accounts and stick to it. One of those things you talk about and agree too before you get married.

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Logwyn View Post
    No not everyone. There are a number of financial reasons that being married could be better than not being married. Those are for the two people to decide as you say if they are beneficial or not.

    For me and so. We have a budget and joint accounts and stick to it. One of those things you talk about and agree too before you get married.
    there are also number of reasons not to be. even if you have kids there is plenty of benefits to rip from her being effectively single parent in eyes of law . ofc it depends on country .

  7. #27
    I am Murloc! Logwyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kamuimac View Post
    there are also number of reasons not to be. even if you have kids there is plenty of benefits to rip from her being effectively single parent in eyes of law . ofc it depends on country .
    You said "ZERO" reasons. When there are in fact reasons to be. All up to the persons involved if the reasons to be are better than the reasons not to be was also my post.

  8. #28
    We keep our stuff separate which keeps our credit ratings separate which is great because if something comes up and we need to purposely tank one of our ratings we can do that like bankruptcy which she or I could file independently to not effect each other (in Canada if you keep your finances separate they can't take shit from the other person).

    As for savings, none as of yet from my end but the house is a great investment and is already worth 70k more than what I paid so in a way the house itself is a huge savings investment, plus we live next to a new school that is very popular so we will have no issues selling.

    My goal is coming closer and closer, retirement funds will not be needed as much once I have a self sufficient home with a greenhouse and have no need for more than a few hundred a month to get by, though we will likely have far more saved by then anyways via pensions and what not.
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  9. #29
    The Insane PC2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kamuimac View Post
    not everyone feels need to get married. if you feel good with each other there is 0 reason for marriage. especially with how messy divorces are nowadays.
    But seperate finances is bad for society because it prevents the creation of the family unit.
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  10. #30
    we did have separate accounts until I thought I lost my account number/password stuff and didn't want someone stealing my money so I closed it down and he put me on his account and since then we've just had the one account. I'm far more cautious about money than he is which stems from coming from a much poorer household growing up than he did. its extremely rare that we make big purchases, the biggest one recently was a brand new HP laptop which was about 650$ but we had been discussing getting one for several months already after the old one died.

    im usually responsible for making sure the bills are paid/doing the grocery shopping though he does pay the net/electric online.
    We cannot go back. That's why it's hard to choose. You have to make the right choice. As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible.

  11. #31
    I keep a monthly side in another account as savings, and rest is used for monthly uses. Those daily expenses that can't be ignored. And if some amount get saved at the end of month then it's extra savings.

  12. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by PC2 View Post
    Based on all these threads i'm starting to get the feeling that significant other(SO) has just become a code word for the overly noncommital who won't get married...
    I call my husband - SO. its not all cut and dry. people just prefer to do things their way, and not getting that piece of paper =/= you are noncommittal.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by PC2 View Post
    But seperate finances is bad for society because it prevents the creation of the family unit.
    that... is such a weird take. is family unit in your eyes is all about finances? nothing else matters, as long as couple keeps their money separate - they are not really a family? is that what you are getting at?

  13. #33
    We each have our own checking and savings account. We also have a joint checking account which is used for bills/common expenses. Me buying cigarettes isn't a common expense, and her purchasing nail polish isn't a common expense. We both put 50% of our pay checks into the joint account, and then we do what we please with the remaining. At the end of the month, any money left in the joint checking account goes into the savings account that at the end of the bill cycle, we have a zero balance in the account, zero account balances on the bills, and have some combined savings.

    This has been the best way to maintain the balance of shared responsibility, shared accountability, and having a personal space financially. There is SOME disparity in our pay (she makes more than me), but I have a supplemental income (VA disability) that equalizes the difference. We aren't late, we don't miss bills, and our family is never without. We aren't rich by any stretch (we are barely middle class honestly).... but we make it work.
    "When you build it, you love it!"

  14. #34
    Warchief smityx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thereturn View Post
    To my mom and her so, which imo are rather old fashion its ‘weird’ to have 2 personal accounts as ‘whats mine is yours’ in a relationship. Im however somewhat reserved and split all costs 50/50 in case shit hits the fan.
    Assuming gender. Make that 25/75 cause when the shit hits the fan she gets half of your 50.

  15. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by smityx View Post
    Assuming gender. Make that 25/75 cause when the shit hits the fan she gets half of your 50.
    We aint married.

  16. #36
    We don't. Having a hard time-saving money since we moved in together

  17. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by PC2 View Post
    But seperate finances is bad for society because it prevents the creation of the family unit.
    I don't get this at all. Finding things to forcefully tie up two people who don't want to be together isn't a recipe for a successful family dynamic anyways, so I fail to see your point.

  18. #38
    I don't share or do joint accounts with girls I date, of course. I'm the master of my finances while single.

    And once I'm married, it'll be joint, but I'll be handling bills and finances. I grew up on the poorer end, had to work hard and make good choices to get out of it. And that's left me with the need to control finances pertaining to me.

  19. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Stelio Kontos View Post
    I don't share or do joint accounts with girls I date, of course. I'm the master of my finances while single.

    And once I'm married, it'll be joint, but I'll be handling bills and finances. I grew up on the poorer end, had to work hard and make good choices to get out of it. And that's left me with the need to control finances pertaining to me.
    No one fucking cares.

  20. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by horus19 View Post
    No one fucking cares.
    Mmkay, NEET.

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