View Poll Results: Have you ever been friend zoned

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  • No.

    15 44.12%
  • Yep.

    19 55.88%
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  1. #21
    Merely a Setback Queen of Hamsters's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Egomaniac View Post
    What's unclear about "We should just be friends"? Seems like a pretty clear statement that the person is not interested in anything other than a platonic relationship.
    Seems that even a clear signal like that, is "manipulation" if the person hearing it doesn't agree and suffers from entitlement issues. At least according to some circles.
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  2. #22
    The only folks who still use the term friend zone are people who got shot down and are still trying to weasel their way into someone's pants.
    “You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”― Malcolm X

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Captain N View Post
    The only folks who still use the term friend zone are people who got shot down and are still trying to weasel their way into someone's pants.
    Or people that never took the shot in the first place and are using the so-called "Friend Zone" to justify it.

  4. #24
    I Don't Work Here Endus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mistame View Post
    Meh. Yes and no. You can't really expect to dive straight into a romantic relationship. Sure, you can nab some HPV-laden partners on Tinder, etc, but outside of that, you nearly always have to be friends to end up lovers.
    I'm definitely not saying you can't romance a friend. I'm saying becoming someone's friend because you want to romance them, but they turned you down, so you're going to bide your time and try and weasel in, that's the problem. It's about the reason you're becoming their friend in the first place.

  5. #25
    Old God Mistame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Endus View Post
    I'm definitely not saying you can't romance a friend. I'm saying becoming someone's friend because you want to romance them, but they turned you down, so you're going to bide your time and try and weasel in, that's the problem. It's about the reason you're becoming their friend in the first place.
    Trying to "weasel" your way in after they've turned you down is shitty, sure. Take a fucking hint. But there's nothing wrong with using friendship as a means to seek intimacy. That's how virtually every relationship starts. Sex isn't some special or sacred thing. It just happens to be the one distinction between friends and lovers. /shrug

  6. #26
    I’ve never been OUT of the friend zone.

  7. #27
    Mechagnome
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    no idea, i don't know how people work.

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by AryuFate View Post
    I’ve never been OUT of the friend zone.
    That's not true.

    You have to have friends to be in the "friend zone"

  9. #29
    i have friends so yes.

  10. #30
    The closest I've been 'friend zoned' is where I'm too close to someone to be a partner. I find this mutual as well, as sometimes getting too close to someone makes me not want to do anything romantic with them, at least sexually. It's not a big deal but it does happen.

  11. #31
    The friend zone isn't an actual thing. My thoughts on this have already been echoed in the thread by a few people.
    It's also pretty shitty to look at something as wonderfully human as platonic friendship and look at it like it's some shitty consolation prize for playing the game or whatever.

  12. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Cinnamilk View Post
    The friend zone isn't an actual thing. My thoughts on this have already been echoed in the thread by a few people.
    It's also pretty shitty to look at something as wonderfully human as platonic friendship and look at it like it's some shitty consolation prize for playing the game or whatever.
    Just like pizza isn't a real thing, or hot dogs or human existence.
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  13. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Sorensen View Post
    Just like pizza isn't a real thing, or hot dogs or human existence.
    Okay, but I exist and I can physically get a hot dog to eat it.
    I can't get friend-zoned because it's a dumb-ass made-up patriarchal concept. You could've at least made it difficult by including sociological constructs, but at least those provide some kind of benefit in some way and can be agreed upon by the people involved. If someone ever told me that I friend-zoned them I'd tell them that their opinion is horseshit and I'd immediately want to withdraw my friendship from that person for thinking they had that much autonomy over my own personage. Even enemies can usually agree that their enemies, someone thinking their friend-zoned is a one-sided misconception of the power they think they hold in a human relationship.

    People who whine about getting friend-zoned are just sad that some person won't give you sexual access that for some reason you think you deserve from them. If the objectified doesn't get a say in the matter about their own damn selves, then they aren't a person in your eyes. Shit like that deserves ridicule. Go jack off and find something better to do with your time than whine about a potential friend not letting you touch their no-no bits.

    All the you's above aren't directly aimed at you, they're for any person with the gall to whine about being stuck in make-believe boo-hoo friendship land.

  14. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by Cinnamilk View Post
    Okay, but I exist and I can physically get a hot dog to eat it.
    I can't get friend-zoned because it's a dumb-ass made-up patriarchal concept. You could've at least made it difficult by including sociological constructs, but at least those provide some kind of benefit in some way and can be agreed upon by the people involved. If someone ever told me that I friend-zoned them I'd tell them that their opinion is horseshit and I'd immediately want to withdraw my friendship from that person for thinking they had that much autonomy over my own personage. Even enemies can usually agree that their enemies, someone thinking their friend-zoned is a one-sided misconception of the power they think they hold in a human relationship.

    People who whine about getting friend-zoned are just sad that some person won't give you sexual access that for some reason you think you deserve from them. If the objectified doesn't get a say in the matter about their own damn selves, then they aren't a person in your eyes. Shit like that deserves ridicule. Go jack off and find something better to do with your time than whine about a potential friend not letting you touch their no-no bits.

    All the you's above aren't directly aimed at you, they're for any person with the gall to whine about being stuck in make-believe boo-hoo friendship land.
    The person you are talking to thinks that "We should just be friends" isn't being direct or clear enough.

  15. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by Egomaniac View Post
    The person you are talking to thinks that "We should just be friends" isn't being direct or clear enough.
    Well then... I don't really know what to say about that which hasn't already been said. You and a few other posters laid it out pretty plainly.
    That's a very clear "I have zero interest in a romantic relationship." Whether that person changes that evaluation is up to them, but definitely not something to expect.

    Either take the friendship and y'know, be happy that you have a friend, or cut ties with them because you didn't get sex or romance or whatever that you expected out of the relationship. I'm not the kind of person to ever want to use a hookup app, but if your primary objective in your relationship with this person was sex, you might just want to use one of those with a dose of lowered expectations.

    All of the above options are still better than wallowing in pity about your unrequited love or worse, trying to take some kind of revenge.

  16. #36
    Old God Mistame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sorensen View Post
    Just like pizza isn't a real thing, or hot dogs or human existence.
    This is the equivalent of a hardcore vegan calling pizza and hot dogs "murder food". There's no such thing as "murder food", regardless of the fact that both pizza and hot dogs exist. Someone not being romantically interested and thereby wanting to remain friends is certainly a thing. But this so-called "friend zone" is a half-witted attempt to make someone who's been rejected into a victim and/or the person doing the rejecting the "bad" guy/gal. Similarly, the colloquial version of "shallow" follows the same idea, that a person who isn't interested because of some arbitrary reason is "bad" and the person who's rejected is a victim. But there is no "wrong" reason to not be interested in someone. So no, in the context that they're used, neither a "friend zone" nor "shallow" are actual things.

  17. #37
    Old God Grimbold21's Avatar
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    Generally speaking, one is not friend zoned, one puts oneself in the friend zone, one way or another.

    Meaning the target of your attraction can be interested in you, but you're taking long or due to some personal inadequacy can't make a move. He/she gets tired and loses the attraction for you and by the time you decide to make a move, they only see you as such.

    Or that same target has no sexual or romantic attraction for you, but you do, and you just lingered in that limbo, in some self delusional hope that something will happen.

    Either way, the zone is entirely of one's own making.

  18. #38
    The friendzone is basically just unrequited love but the person not reciprocating those feelings still wants to be friends. It's not some manipulative nefarious thing on its own. Some people will try to frame it as some incel thing and others will try to say its manipulative, etc. In reality some people want to be more than friends and some don't.

    If you find yourself in that situation it might be better to distance yourself lest you magnify those feelings and set yourself up for far worse heartbreak. Be upfront in your feelings and move on if its not mutual.

  19. #39
    Banned KALAMITY's Avatar
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    The friend zone is a term made up by men who cannot fathom not having sex with any and every female acquaintance they encounter. I can imagine it's hard for some men who are ruled by their hormones to not think this way.

  20. #40
    I love this ideologically motived reflex to deny the existance of a vague concept that very much exists in human interactions, just because it doesn't fit into people's agenda driven world views.

    It's mostly a meme anyway. First and foremost it just means one person doesn't share the same feelings as the other. There may be some leading on happening as well, but that is immaterial and is more of an extra layer of an overall toxic interaction. If you are put in the "friendzone" then all it means is that you were turned down, explicitly or implicitly. That is the part where normal people joke about "being friendzoned". You were categorized as a friend. It's your own fault for staying "in there" and defining yourself by it. Move on and spend your energy where it may bear fruit. Persistence is no longer an advisable strategy in today's world, it's certainly no longer lauded undless your desired target is seriously oldschool; granny-like old school .

    As for the question of the OP and his social profiling ambitions: No. I never tried to date anyone in my closer social circle that would have lead to me being classified as "friend". I certainly don't keep people I turned down around or hang around those that turned me down, unless you consider dead entries on social media as actual friends. For the most part that is just awkward.
    Last edited by Haidaes; 2020-08-31 at 01:20 AM.
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