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  1. #1
    Old God Milchshake's Avatar
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    Lightbulb x-Secret Service Agents Ponder how to Drag Obese Autocrat from Executive Residence

    This has been on my mind quite a bit. I think it deserves it's own thread.
    • How do the physics of this work?
    • Will a Jaws of Life be need to deal with barricades?
    • How many agents will it take? Remember to lift with your knees!
    • Can this be a prime-time event on CSPAN? I'm thinking Super Bowl levels of viewers!



    Ex-Secret Service agents ponder how to drag Trump

    It’s now been two weeks since the end of the 2020 presidential campaign and President Donald Trump still has not conceded to President-elect Joe Biden.

    In conversations with Business Insider, former Secret Service agents pondered how agents could work to physically remove the president from the White House grounds if he barricades himself in a room and refuses to leave.

    “This is such uncharted territory,” a former Secret Service agent told the publication.

    In fact, Business Insider reports that former Secret Service and Department of Homeland Security officials have been talking privately about how they would handle a situation in which the president insists that he is still the president even after Biden is sworn into the office on January 20th.

    “If that happens, many government experts predict that Trump’s physical removal from office would come down to the Secret Service — an agency within DHS that’s charged with protecting the president and also with evicting trespassers from the White House,” the publication writes.

    Such maneuvers could be complicated because the Secret Service is in charge of protecting the president — and they could be violating their core mission if the president puts up a fight and potentially puts himself in harm’s way.

    “We’re not there to evict people; we’re there to protect people,” said a former Secret Service official. “I don’t see the Secret Service going in there and knocking on the door and saying, ‘Time to leave sir, checkout is at 11 o’clock.’ Are they going to physically pick him up and do it?”
    Source with source
    Government Affiliated Snark

  2. #2
    It’s pretty easy. Trump won’t be able to resist the sirens song of the golf course for long.

    The bigger concern is Trump hiring prostitutes to pee on all the beds before he leaves. If he can’t hire anyone I’m sure Stephen Miller would do it for the lulz.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by PresidentElectMilchschake View Post
    This has been on my mind quite a bit. I think it deserves it's own thread.
    • How do the physics of this work?
    • Will a Jaws of Life be need to deal with barricades?
    • How many agents will it take? Remember to lift with your knees!
    • Can this be a prime-time event on CSPAN? I'm thinking Super Bowl levels of viewers!



    Ex-Secret Service agents ponder how to drag Trump



    Source with source
    As of January 20th he would no longer be President and would therefore be a trespasser on the property as it now, by default, becomes the residence of the new sitting President.

    If the Secret Service is tasked with removing trespassers, removing a trespassing ex-President, falls in their jurisdiction.

    Right?

  4. #4
    That's simple, after Noon on Inauguration Day, Trump is a trespasser, and a threat to the President of the United States. The last time I checked, the Secret Service's primary function is to ensure the safety of the President, and are more than capable of dealing with people who try and break onto the grounds.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Machismo View Post
    That's simple, after Noon on Inauguration Day, Trump is a trespasser, and a threat to the President of the United States. The last time I checked, the Secret Service's primary function is to ensure the safety of the President, and are more than capable of dealing with people who try and break onto the grounds.
    Please tell me DC has a 'stand your ground' law. Dress one Secret Service member up as a giant Big Mac, position him so Trump sees him, and when he starts waddling towards the agent the agent can go 'Oh my god, he's coming right at me!' and shoot him, preferably with a shotgun.
    [Infraction]
    Last edited by Rozz; 2020-11-19 at 01:32 PM. Reason: Minor Trolling

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Skulltaker View Post
    Please tell me DC has a 'stand your ground' law. Dress one Secret Service member up as a giant Big Mac, position him so Trump sees him, and when he starts waddling towards the agent the agent can go 'Oh my god, he's coming right at me!' and shoot him, preferably with a shotgun.
    Nah, no need for shooting, they can simply tackle him, cuff his ass, and turn him over to DC police.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Skulltaker View Post
    Please tell me DC has a 'stand your ground' law. Dress one Secret Service member up as a giant Big Mac, position him so Trump sees him, and when he starts waddling towards the agent the agent can go 'Oh my god, he's coming right at me!' and shoot him, preferably with a shotgun.
    Do not advocate for the death another person. That is wrong.

    Especially when that person could be facing prison for a myriad of financial crimes. GOGO Perp Walk!

  8. #8
    This will almost certainly not be necessary...but I would be willing to bet that the SS has already drafted several different plans for how to safely remove Trump from the White House should he prove to be so incomprehensibly stupid to believe that he can just stay President after Biden is sworn in. While Trump is guaranteed Secret Service protection for the rest of his life (Thanks, Obama!) that protection does not come without caveats. Most importantly, his SS detail does not answer to him and are under no obligation to follow his orders. When their Boss says "Escort Mr. Trump out of the White House" they will do so. If he refuses they will either be ordered to arrest him or to Stand Down and another team will. They will take as much care as possible to ensure that no harm comes to Mr. Trump during this process...but that goal will be secondary.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivanstone View Post
    Do not advocate for the death another person. That is wrong.

    Especially when that person could be facing prison for a myriad of financial crimes. GOGO Perp Walk!
    I don't. I hoped the obvious South Park refference and the notion to dress someone up as a Big Mac were clues enough that I was joking.

  10. #10
    The Undying
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    Quote Originally Posted by PresidentElectMilchschake View Post
    This has been on my mind quite a bit. I think it deserves it's own thread.
    • How do the physics of this work?
    • Will a Jaws of Life be need to deal with barricades?
    • How many agents will it take? Remember to lift with your knees!
    • Can this be a prime-time event on CSPAN? I'm thinking Super Bowl levels of viewers!



    Ex-Secret Service agents ponder how to drag Trump

    It’s now been two weeks since the end of the 2020 presidential campaign and President Donald Trump still has not conceded to President-elect Joe Biden.

    In conversations with Business Insider, former Secret Service agents pondered how agents could work to physically remove the president from the White House grounds if he barricades himself in a room and refuses to leave.

    “This is such uncharted territory,” a former Secret Service agent told the publication.

    In fact, Business Insider reports that former Secret Service and Department of Homeland Security officials have been talking privately about how they would handle a situation in which the president insists that he is still the president even after Biden is sworn into the office on January 20th.

    “If that happens, many government experts predict that Trump’s physical removal from office would come down to the Secret Service — an agency within DHS that’s charged with protecting the president and also with evicting trespassers from the White House,” the publication writes.

    Such maneuvers could be complicated because the Secret Service is in charge of protecting the president — and they could be violating their core mission if the president puts up a fight and potentially puts himself in harm’s way.

    “We’re not there to evict people; we’re there to protect people,” said a former Secret Service official. “I don’t see the Secret Service going in there and knocking on the door and saying, ‘Time to leave sir, checkout is at 11 o’clock.’ Are they going to physically pick him up and do it?”
    Source with source
    So, this is pretty hysterical that Trump is such a deplorable human being that the USSS is actually discussing this possibility. However, we have to remember that Trump is an utter coward at heart - he will not put up a fight. If he can't sue to win, he slinks away quietly and declares himself the best bestliest ever, and then moves on to the next business country to destroy.

    On a related note, where do we think his "library" will be? "Library" being used in the most ironical sense imaginable.

  11. #11
    Just tell him there is a new bunker for him to hide out in...right over here....little farther....that's it....click....

    Think of how sad he will be when he is on the other side of the "wall"

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by cubby View Post
    So, this is pretty hysterical that Trump is such a deplorable human being that the USSS is actually discussing this possibility. However, we have to remember that Trump is an utter coward at heart - he will not put up a fight. If he can't sue to win, he slinks away quietly and declares himself the best bestliest ever, and then moves on to the next business country to destroy.

    On a related note, where do we think his "library" will be? "Library" being used in the most ironical sense imaginable.
    Marlargo..somehow....so he can profit off it\
    Buh Byeeeeeeeeeeee !!

  12. #12
    Old God Milchshake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cubby View Post
    On a related note, where do we think his "library" will be? "Library" being used in the most ironical sense imaginable.
    I'm betting that his library will just be a permanent GoFundMe page. Asking for donations until the heat death of the universe.
    Government Affiliated Snark

  13. #13
    The Undying Breccia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PresidentElectMilchschake View Post
    This has been on my mind quite a bit.
    “This is such uncharted territory,” says someone who hasn't been paying attention for four fucking years.

  14. #14
    "Former" employees that may not have had any seniority discuss a theoretical --> "News Story" --> MMO Champ thread about Orange Man Bad.

  15. #15
    I see a 99% chances it does not happen but for the remaining 1% we should remember the fat bastard is all about theatrics: everything in him its just a spectacle aimed at hiding his complete moral and intelectual failure.

    So don't discard a last show , a fireworks function with thousands ( no more) of magatards outside the fences cheering him for "Defending the true americans until the last minute....no matter the consequences".

    I truly believe there's no bottom in the barrel of his misery so...maybe we see ,not being expelled by force, but the SS scorting him out.

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by PresidentElectMilchschake View Post
    I'm betting that his library will just be a permanent GoFundMe page. Asking for donations until the heat death of the universe.
    I think it's more likely to look something like this:



    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by GreenJesus View Post
    "Former" employees that may not have had any seniority discuss a theoretical --> "News Story" --> MMO Champ thread about Orange Man Bad.
    Looks like the fun police are here...

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by GreenJesus View Post
    "Former" employees that may not have had any seniority discuss a theoretical --> "News Story" --> MMO Champ thread about Orange Man Bad.
    Yes, racists are bad.

    Considering Trump keeps lying, and saying he won, this theoretical is becoming more and more likely by the day.

  18. #18
    If the Secret Service is forced to step in and remove the usurper/trespasser, let's hope they follow his advice to police officers when arresting criminals about not being "too nice".
    “Leadership: Whatever happens, you’re responsible. If it doesn’t happen, you’re responsible.” -- Donald J. Trump, 2013

    "I don't take responsibility at all."
    -- Donald J. Trump, 2020

  19. #19
    The Undying
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zan15 View Post
    Just tell him there is a new bunker for him to hide out in...right over here....little farther....that's it....click....

    Think of how sad he will be when he is on the other side of the "wall"

    - - - Updated - - -



    Marlargo..somehow....so he can profit off it\
    Lol - IIRC, Marlargo wasn't a profit center until he was elected. Then everyone realized that to get any influence you had to blatantly violate the Emoluments Clause, and everyone signed up for the inflated membership deposit and dues.

  20. #20
    The Insane draynay's Avatar
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    They could always call animal control.
    /s

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