Can Men and Women just be friends?

[Shadowferal]

Pfft...sexually attractive is far different than simply being attractive. If there's no desirability then it's easy since there's no tension.

[Sorensen]

this is so weird to me. there are a lot of people I find attractive - because they ARE attractive. I'm neither blind nor dead. but finding someone attractive and actively wanting to have sex with them to the point where you cannot be friends with them? is a WHOLE other story.

edited to add, no I'm not assexual. I AM monogamous though. but even when I was not in a stable long term relationship, there were plenty of people I thought looked great that I had no interest in fucking. and a few people that i DID have interest in fucking. to put it crudely. moreover - for me at least mutual interest is an absolute must for the sexual attraction to persist. even if I find someone hot in THAT way, if they do not reciprocate, eventually sexual component goes away.

How do you find someone attractive but not wanna smash?

[Egomaniac]

"Threes Company" is a bad example. Jack always wanted to sleep with Chrissy.

But they were still friends...

[Bryntrollian]

Well of course they can

[PC2]

Well of course they can

I'm skeptical of that because every time I've seen an available man and woman in the same age group who claim to be 100% content just being friends I always get the sense that it's actually because one of them is less adequate than the other and that their purely platonic friendship is just the result of an asymmetry. I've personally never seen an equal sided platonic friendship between available and straight men and women.

[Egomaniac]

What people really mean when they say men and women can't be friends is that they cannot see themselves being friends with someone of the opposite gender and are applying that to humanity as a whole. Which is like saying that because you don't like pizza...nobody else likes pizza either.

[Pony Soldier]

Sure they can if there is no physical or romantic attraction between them. It's kind of hard to just settle for being just friends with someone you have a serious crush on. That's what I think anyway.

[Orange Joe]

Yes, and if I knew anyone that said no I wouldn't let them around family member of the opposite sex (same sex if they were gay)

[Endus]

Now you are just projecting with the circular reasoning. You came into this thread arguing with the wind about how men can have platonic relationships with women (which I did not read anybody really saying otherwise, besides the obvious 'troll' remarks), and keep on going as if somebody is disagreeing with you lol

Dude, the OP clearly states that as their hypothesis. That's what I was responding to. Hence why I didn't quote someone else. I have no idea why you're pretending the OP doesn't exist.

[Witchblade77]

How do you find someone attractive but not wanna smash?

the same way I can acknowledge that my relatives are attractive and yet have absolutely no interest in smashing them. same way I can look at statues in a museum and go, damn, look at that muscle definition and yet have no interest in having sex with a statue. same way I can admire someone's mind as much if not more than their body and be more interested in their mind.

how can you go about your life when you want to smash every attractive person is what confuses me, TBH.

[Endus]

You mean this OP?


I imagine what you are referring to was OP quoting other people from the videos he linked, I assume to try and gather some different perspectives on the topic for his readers.

What, exactly, do you think you're pointing to, here?

He asked a question. I made a strong case against one answer. You seem to take issue with that, and your reasons do not make sense.

[Belize]

I've yet to see any proof women are actually real, so I suppose you could keep things banal with your imaginary friend.

[Sorensen]

the same way I can acknowledge that my relatives are attractive and yet have absolutely no interest in smashing them. same way I can look at statues in a museum and go, damn, look at that muscle definition and yet have no interest in having sex with a statue. same way I can admire someone's mind as much if not more than their body and be more interested in their mind.

how can you go about your life when you want to smash every attractive person is what confuses me, TBH.

It's ok to be ACE but some people aren't born that way.

[PC2]

the same way I can acknowledge that my relatives are attractive and yet have absolutely no interest in smashing them.

Sure but the spirit of the question implies that you're excluding socially unacceptable people such as your family members and married people and that you're controlling for variables like age and attractiveness. If you don't properly interpret the question then yeah I can understand why there is so many people who find this to be an absurd topic.

[Orange Joe]

I'm skeptical of that because every time I've seen an available man and woman in the same age group who claim to be 100% content just being friends I always get the sense that it's actually because one of them is less adequate than the other and that their purely platonic friendship is just the result of an asymmetry. I've personally never seen an equal sided platonic friendship between available and straight men and women.

This says more about YOU than you think.

- - - Updated - - -

Sure but the spirit of the question implies that you're excluding socially unacceptable people such as your family members and married people and that you're controlling for variables like age and attractiveness. If you don't properly interpret the question then yeah I can understand why there is so many people who find this to be an absurd topic.

Where do you get that implication in a 7 word question?

[Aurgjelme]

I am sure they can, but people will probably respond tot his question differently according to their own experiences in life.

[PC2]

This says more about YOU than you think.

What do you mean? Can you elaborate?

Where do you get that implication in a 7 word question?

The question doesn't make any sense otherwise. In the video in the OP all the college guys who answered 'no' obviously understood that the question applies to their peers and not to their aunts and uncles.

[Orange Joe]

What do you mean? Can you elaborate?

If you think you can't be friends with a female cause you might lust after them shows you barely have your sexuality under control. I wouldn't trust you around any females I know.

The question doesn't make any sense otherwise. In the video in the OP all the college people who answered 'no' obviously understood that the question applied to a person's peers and not to their aunts and uncles.

Sure it does. Aunts and uncles and the like only reinforce that idea that it very much is possible.

[Shadowferal]

How do you find someone attractive but not wanna smash?

Physical attributes other than the pretty face.
For example Zooey Deschanel...as opposed to Svetlana Bilyalova.
Both may be considered gorgeous, but one would get me feeling all romantic.

[Aurgjelme]

If you think you can't be friends with a female cause you might lust after them shows you barely have your sexuality under control. I wouldn't trust you around any females I know.

You know that females can be the aggressors as well right? Maybe some men just dont want the potential hassle of a female friend turned amorous.