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  1. #1
    I am Murloc! gaymer77's Avatar
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    Unmarried couples calling each other husband/wife

    Ok so I have a little rant I'd like to get off my chest. One thing that really bugs the fuck out of me is when I hear unmarried couples calling each other husband or wife. I'm not referring to couples who have been together for 10+ years or even couples that are engaged (even though if you're engaged you're only fiance to each other not husband/wife yet). Being in the gay community I gave same sex couples a pass for a long time when they would refer to who they're with as their husband or wife simply because until 2015 it wasn't legal for same sex couples to get married here in the USA. Now that it is legal, there are still unmarried gay couples who refer to their significant other as their "spouse" or "husband" or "wife". No, you have chosen not to go down to the courthouse and file with the courts to be legally married like people can do so no that isn't your "spouse", that isn't your "husband", and that isn't your "wife". That's your partner, your girlfriend/boyfriend, or your fiance if you're engaged. If you want to call each other "husband" or "wife" then bite the bullet and make it legal with all the protections, benefits, and drawbacks of being legally married. You are simply in a relationship where at any point in time one person can simply leave the other's life with no consequences at all. I've been with my boyfriend (technically fiance) for 7 years now and 2 years ago I popped the question and he said yes. I don't refer to him as my husband because he's not. Yes we've been together a long time, but we're not married. Our plans for getting married are either 1-2 years after I finish nursing school or within a year of winning the lottery...whichever comes first. Until then, he will simply be my boyfriend...my fiance. Prior to 2015's ruling to allow same sex marriage some of my family mentioned how he was basically my husband which truthfully was the case. We made decisions about our unit together. We planned for the future that involved both of us. But we could not get married at the time. Now that we can, we will plan for our future and await the day we do say our vows. Basically what I'm getting at is, I'm sorry Karen and Chad but you're not married so stop calling each other husband and wife since all you're doing is playing house right now.

  2. #2
    Brewmaster Sorensen's Avatar
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    Their body their choice right?
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  3. #3
    What sort of priorities do you have that this even registers as a thing to get annoyed and write a small essay about?

  4. #4
    The Forgettable Forgettable's Avatar
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    I don't understand why literally every single one of your posts makes a reference to you being gay.

  5. #5
    After a certain time..."husband and wife" become legit.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by gaymer77 View Post
    Ok so I have a little rant I'd like to get off my chest. One thing that really bugs the fuck out of me is when I hear unmarried couples calling each other husband or wife. I'm not referring to couples who have been together for 10+ years or even couples that are engaged (even though if you're engaged you're only fiance to each other not husband/wife yet). Being in the gay community I gave same sex couples a pass for a long time when they would refer to who they're with as their husband or wife simply because until 2015 it wasn't legal for same sex couples to get married here in the USA. Now that it is legal, there are still unmarried gay couples who refer to their significant other as their "spouse" or "husband" or "wife". No, you have chosen not to go down to the courthouse and file with the courts to be legally married like people can do so no that isn't your "spouse", that isn't your "husband", and that isn't your "wife". That's your partner, your girlfriend/boyfriend, or your fiance if you're engaged. If you want to call each other "husband" or "wife" then bite the bullet and make it legal with all the protections, benefits, and drawbacks of being legally married. You are simply in a relationship where at any point in time one person can simply leave the other's life with no consequences at all. I've been with my boyfriend (technically fiance) for 7 years now and 2 years ago I popped the question and he said yes. I don't refer to him as my husband because he's not. Yes we've been together a long time, but we're not married. Our plans for getting married are either 1-2 years after I finish nursing school or within a year of winning the lottery...whichever comes first. Until then, he will simply be my boyfriend...my fiance. Prior to 2015's ruling to allow same sex marriage some of my family mentioned how he was basically my husband which truthfully was the case. We made decisions about our unit together. We planned for the future that involved both of us. But we could not get married at the time. Now that we can, we will plan for our future and await the day we do say our vows. Basically what I'm getting at is, I'm sorry Karen and Chad but you're not married so stop calling each other husband and wife since all you're doing is playing house right now.
    Jesus Christ.

    Creating arbitrary rules about who gets to call each other "husband" and "wife" is exactly why it was so hard to get gay marriage passed in the first place.

    Mind your own fucking business.

    After making this post....you have lost all right to call anyone else a "Karen"

  7. #7

  8. #8
    I am Murloc! gaymer77's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowferal View Post
    Seems like Robinson & Henry need to do a little more research on the issue as that's not what Colorado law requires. Colorado law has held up common law marriage for over the last 100 years in the state. To be deemed a common law marriage both parties have to agree to be in it, they must have cohabitation, and there must be proof of a mutual agreement to be in a common law marriage. Courts have denied a partner's request to recognize a common law marriage by small things such as not wearing rings, Facebook status as "single" or "in a relationship" or "its complicated" instead of "married", wife/children not using the man's surname, filing joint tax returns (that's married not common law married), referring to the other person as a "friend" or "boyfriend" to friends & family instead of "husband" or "spouse", and joint checking account for bills but separate for personal income. Simply having joint health/life insurance is easy to do in Colorado by simply signing an Affidavit of Common Law Marriage. Though signing it can get you insurance for the other person, it doesn't hold up in court as witnessed by Whitenhill v. Kaiser Permanente. Even with meeting all the "usual" requirements of a common law marriage, some information trumps all others. In the case of Estate of Yudkin, 2019 COA 25 the courts ruled that even though the couple met the criteria for common law marriage (they had an agreement to be married, the cohabitated, and they had a reputation in the community for being married) because they filed their taxes as single they were not common law married. But if you want to read up on the actual wording of the law HERE IT IS for you to view it. The statute is 109.5 for common law and 109 for sanctioned marriage.

  9. #9
    So gay people are the new gatekeepers of marriage now?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Forgettable View Post
    I don't understand why literally every single one of your posts makes a reference to you being gay.
    Also kinda this.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Forgettable View Post
    I don't understand why literally every single one of your posts makes a reference to you being gay.
    pretty sure it's a gimmick for him.
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  11. #11
    I don’t think it matters unless it’s a situation where legally you can’t be calling them your wife/husband (documents, hospital situations, legal shit, etc).
    Fairy tales are more than true – not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten. -G. K. Chesterton & Neil Gaiman

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Forgettable View Post
    I don't understand why literally every single one of your posts makes a reference to you being gay.
    Technically they can't help it since it's in their name.
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  13. #13
    The Insane Masark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowferal View Post
    Note that common law marriage only exists in 9 states + DC.

    Regarding the OP, California got rid of it in 1895.

    Warning : Above post may contain snark and/or sarcasm. Try reparsing with the /s argument before replying.
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  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Winter Blossom View Post
    I don’t think it matters unless it’s a situation where legally you can’t be calling them your wife/husband (documents, hospital situations, legal shit, etc).
    I agree, as long it's consensual and not illegal, I really don't care what people in relationships want to call or do with each other.

  15. #15
    Void Lord Felya's Avatar
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    After being together for 20 years... saying anything else, is just asking for awkward questions. My gf and I have been together longer than any married couple in our age group. It’s just easier to say wife... simple as that...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Forgettable View Post
    I don't understand why literally every single one of your posts makes a reference to you being gay.
    It’s in the name...
    Folly and fakery have always been with us... but it has never before been as dangerous as it is now, never in history have we been able to afford it less. - Isaac Asimov
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  16. #16
    The Insane Daemos daemonium's Avatar
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    So is this what all the fear mongers we’re talking about when they said gay people would ruin marriage?

  17. #17
    Not a big deal.
    "It's a big club. And you ain't in it. It is also the club they use to beat you with." - George Carlin

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by gaymer77 View Post
    Seems like Robinson & Henry need to do a little more research on the issue as that's not what Colorado law requires. Colorado law has held up common law marriage for over the last 100 years in the state. To be deemed a common law marriage both parties have to agree to be in it, they must have cohabitation, and there must be proof of a mutual agreement to be in a common law marriage. Courts have denied a partner's request to recognize a common law marriage by small things such as not wearing rings, Facebook status as "single" or "in a relationship" or "its complicated" instead of "married", wife/children not using the man's surname, filing joint tax returns (that's married not common law married), referring to the other person as a "friend" or "boyfriend" to friends & family instead of "husband" or "spouse", and joint checking account for bills but separate for personal income. Simply having joint health/life insurance is easy to do in Colorado by simply signing an Affidavit of Common Law Marriage. Though signing it can get you insurance for the other person, it doesn't hold up in court as witnessed by Whitenhill v. Kaiser Permanente. Even with meeting all the "usual" requirements of a common law marriage, some information trumps all others. In the case of Estate of Yudkin, 2019 COA 25 the courts ruled that even though the couple met the criteria for common law marriage (they had an agreement to be married, the cohabitated, and they had a reputation in the community for being married) because they filed their taxes as single they were not common law married. But if you want to read up on the actual wording of the law HERE IT IS for you to view it. The statute is 109.5 for common law and 109 for sanctioned marriage.
    And none of that has anything to do with this thread.

    If couples want to call each other "Husband" or "Wife"... it's none of your fucking business.

    Some people don't need a signed piece of paper to tell them what their relationships are.

  19. #19
    Void Lord Felya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Egomaniac View Post
    If couples want to call each other "Husband" or "Wife"... it's none of your fucking business.
    How about... I’ve heard “still haven’t figured out if she is the right one? lulz” to last me a life time... it starts after 5 years... it’s ridiculous... shit eating grin on each one... like they are the genius who just thought of that.
    Folly and fakery have always been with us... but it has never before been as dangerous as it is now, never in history have we been able to afford it less. - Isaac Asimov
    Every damn thing you do in this life, you pay for. - Edith Piaf
    The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. - Orwell
    No amount of belief makes something a fact. - James Randi

  20. #20
    Legendary! Zuben's Avatar
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