When we talk about the "FFXIV community", we are usually talking about discussion of FFXIV outside of the game itself. Unlike WoW, I've seen scant discussion of the game inside the game's chat channels. Probably because of FFXIV's draconian chat policies where people can - and have - been banned for saying mild things that someone was "offended" by and reported. So all of the dissenters learned to keep their mouths shut and not to say anything. That has led to less players talking in FFXIV than in WoW. Sure, people will do the greeting at the start of a duty, but really, do they talk anything after? Besides maybe explaining the mechanics to new players? In contrast, there was a lot of discussion about WoW itself in WoW's tradechat, zone chat, or in raid chat, and people striking up casual conversations in /say or raid chat.
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Katchii and @
Wrecktangle have talked about this before, but while WoW's community seems rougher, it is honest. People say how they really feel. If something is bad, they'll tell it straight. Whereas FFXIV's community is really plagued by a cult attitude where everyone has to pretend that everything is fine, FFXIV is the bestest thing ever, and anyone who says otherwise is either being "toxic" or is a troll and their opinion doesn't count and they weren't true fans anyway.
Twitter, r/FFXIV, the discord, the Something Awful megathread, and the Spacebattles megathread are very cultish. According to them, FFXIV is god's gift to mankind, the community is the nicest people on earth, and god forbid you don't praise Yoshida, Soken, or Ishikawa, or else you're a heretic and you'll be labelled as "toxic" or a "troll". They will ardently defend anything Square does, even if it is irrational. You're not allowed to talk about any of FFXIV's problems, because according to them, they aren't any problems. YOU are the problem for thinking that there is a problem!
The FFXIV official forums are tamer than the above and you see more dissenters posting there and more honest discussion of the game, but the cult attitude is still in effect there. Sadly it doesn't seem like the FFXIV dev team looks at the official forums for feedback; instead it seems like the devs pay attention to twitter.
MMO-C, the Gamefaqs board, and 4chan is where you see the dissenters, where people say "yeah, I like some things about FFXIV, but I have my gripes with it". There is where you will see the most honest discussion of the game.
As far as FFXIV Youtubers/Twitch streamers go, most of them are ass kissers. The only one who doesn't really mince words is slythefox, and to a certain extent, Zepla.