1. #1

    I am 650 lbs obese, cannot stop farting

    Now I only signed up to this forum to leak things, but since it's an anonymous venue, there's something I need to get off my chest.

    I weigh 650 lbs. Yes I'm very obese, bedbound, I'm sure you all have very nice things to say about me. Please just entertain the notion that there's a human below all that fat, and that how I ended up this way is unfortunate circumstances that I'd love to own up to and take control of, but with a little self-awareness it's clear to me that I can't or am not capable yet.

    Having said that, there is a cute skinny blonde girl that my healthcare provider sends around my house alongside other healthcare professionals, to get me to a water aerobics class that I'm forced to attend. She's a volunteer from what I gather. She's very sweet and talks to me like a human. It's the first time I've felt like anything more than a degenerate animal in many years. Occasionally she will leave the room and I hear her talking to the other volunteer outside. "Whew that's a heavy smell." She's never vicious but I sometimes overhear that kind of talk and it hurts.

    The truth is - I can't stop farting, morning until night there is either farts inside my guts, trapped between my asscheeks, or wafting around the air. I know a beast like me stands no chance with a sweet girl like her. And that's fine, really. I know it isn't in the cards for me to ask someone out. But I want to do just a little something for her, and that's to stop farting.

    No matter what I do can't stop. Even the days where I follow my diet, I can't stop. I tried cutting out beans, carbs, vegetables, processed foods, none of it works. My gut is a constant factory where farts are made. And I feel like such an impotent idiot for being unable to do a basic thing that all you guys here can do easily.

    Asking the helpers is out of the question because I'm too embarrassed to ask infront of her. I do apologize if this is the wrong forum, but if you guys could tell me ways you've learned to fart less I'd appreciate it.

    tl;dr does anyone have good ways to help me reduce my farts?

    Azgarn

  2. #2
    Have you tried opening the window? Are you able to do that by yourself? Would help a lot with the smell I bet

  3. #3
    Try clenching your buttcheeks more often.

  4. #4
    Should probably ask a doctor, but meanwhile cut carbonated drinks and drink only water. After 4 weeks consider the difference.

  5. #5
    April fools was yesterday.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Warning View Post
    Should probably ask a doctor, but meanwhile cut carbonated drinks and drink only water. After 4 weeks consider the difference.
    It's hard mate but I will try it. I've read that carbonated drinks and especially aspartame is bad for this sort of thing.

  7. #7
    Moderator Crissi's Avatar
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    Go talk to a doctor. We dont allow medical advice

    https://www.mmo-champion.com/threads...medical-advice
    Last edited by Northern Goblin; 2022-04-02 at 05:23 PM.

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