Hello, I am the ret.

[Athrai]

I just thought i'd post this here since apparently I cannot find it among the forums and cause ALL paladins must see this before they are a true ret paladin =]
Credit goes to Nikos of Sargeras

Hello, I am the ret

I am the retribution paladin, maybe you have heard of me??

I am the one who is doing the melee dps on you.
Or sometimes also, the monster - but that is hard, because several people do not like it when I do that.

Sometimes I am said to "Hey yous, you ret. Get in the "BACK AND TOSSA LE HEALZ"

I el oh el at this notion - and substitute my own. Often times my retting has gotten me trouble - for example:

Many people don't want me to go with them to Karazhan
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret1.jpg

Or even to simpler places, like adventuring inside of a shadow laboratory:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret8.jpg

Once I even was reported into the AFK's for being specced ret in a battleground:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret7.jpg

But I know what I can be capable of doing!! Even the Alliance has known of me:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret5.jpg

I have already beaten the World of Warcrafting because of ret. The king and Regent Lord have been vanquished:
YOU CAN DO THIS AS A ROGUE? NO! ONLY THE RET!!
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret6.jpg
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret4.jpg

What was the last thing going through General Stormpike's head as I smashed it with my hammer? I will give you a hint - it rhymes with "OH GOD HE IS THE RET!!"
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret2.jpg

Sometimes when I can finally find pals to do the raidings, I let them know the score right away. I tell THEM who the ret is:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret3.jpg
They don't forget at all.

So in conclusion, everybody I wanted you to know me, the ret. One day when more people are ret, I will look behind me and see less twriling fingers making girly heal magics. They will instead be making bruises - OR HOLES with weapons. Onto their enemies' faces, I think. One day, I will show up for the Karazhan raid, and I will see:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/...loimtheret.jpg

AND BEHIND ME will be the rogues, who can not spell their own class, who are left behind. And I will say LOLrogue. They will say "YOU ARE THE RET?? I HAVE BEEN PEW PEWED" and cry. I will toss them a 34 crit heal and solemnly say "Yes, I am the ret, it is time for me to go now, because I have raid bosses to pew." In their anguish and keyboard turning, their A and D keys will explode, leaving them POWERLESS and UNABLE TO MOVE LEFT OR RIGHT - then, we strike in unison.

Thank you for reading bye!

/e
rookie rets, this is how you do it:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/...heretflash.swf

/e
in addition to being a cool guy, you need to also wear a patch - to let the non paladins know:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/trueret.jpg

/e
be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/euronoob.jpg

/3
the rets GET the girls - not holys:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/.../stephanii.jpg

[archibal]

I've been playing my ret pally for a few years now, and only after seeing this thread today, do I consider myself a true ret.

[Deleted]

The Retribution version of ALAMO's guide to play a druid.
I totally crave it

[MoeMm]

win

[Daos]

Freaking epic.

[Vanderhuge]

Oh old Windfury Totem, how I miss you and your WTFPWNAGE combo with that well timed CS/Judge/Melee/SoCasino proc.

[Athrai]

i luvs windfuryy <3

[Bullocks]

Wow this is old

[Cassandrea]

saved and favourited on my mac webpages.... thank you good sir!

[eternalwhitemoon]

I now cannot stop hearing "I AM THE RET!!" in my head.

It's quite loltastic. Thanks for the read.

[Lothaeryn]

be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/euronoob.jpg

Pretty much sums up how useful my warrior was in BC, so i award +1 internetz for accuracy!

"OH GOD HES RET!"- I lol'ed... seeing as that was the case for a very brief time after this was made ><

[Xelkova]

Ahh the memories >.>

[Evilution]

Awesomeness it was, smashed faces he did - for he was the ret.



This made me smile a bit extra, i recall in TBC when 10 pallies on the server went and did Karazhan, just because they could. And they had the ret(s).

[Athrai]

Awesomeness it was, smashed faces he did - for he was the ret.

This made me smile a bit extra, i recall in TBC when 10 pallies on the server went and did Karazhan, just because they could. And they had the ret(s).

I never did play in BC =[ But what happened? Did we suck bad?

[BDF]

I never did play in BC =[ But what happened? Did we suck bad?

The only spec even close to viable for competative raiding as a paladin in WoW was holy until close to the end of TBC when prot became an option and almost needed as the aoe tank. Ret became an option around the same time, but still was always looked down upon as a leveling spec or something you just brought one of for the buffs.

Wrath changed the direction of the game ALOT with the goal of trying to make every spec choice an real option.

[proc]

win.

[Athrai]

The only spec even close to viable for competative raiding as a paladin in WoW was holy until close to the end of TBC when prot became an option and almost needed as the aoe tank. Ret became an option around the same time, but still was always looked down upon as a leveling spec or something you just brought one of for the buffs.

Wrath changed the direction of the game ALOT with the goal of trying to make every spec choice an real option.

Epic

[iktankniet]

The only spec even close to viable for competative raiding as a paladin in WoW was holy until close to the end of TBC when prot became an option and almost needed as the aoe tank. Ret became an option around the same time, but still was always looked down upon as a leveling spec or something you just brought one of for the buffs.

Wrath changed the direction of the game ALOT with the goal of trying to make every spec choice an real option.

I have tanked and healed in Karazhan. What makes that of me? :O

ohw and we had a pala tank for the trash in Mount hyjal. that was awesome :P

[Deleted]

I have tanked and healed in Karazhan. What makes that of me? :O

ohw and we had a pala tank for the trash in Mount hyjal. that was awesome :P

paladin tanks were good if the enemy could bring in between 2 hits per 5 seconds and 8 hits per 10 seconds. this was usually trash, but some bosses, like malchezzaar and Illidan, had a special ability that gave them extra attacks. these extra attacks could be crushing blows due to the then-enough 3 level difference between a boss and a player. paladins could push these, along with normal hits and crits, off the combat table as long as there are less hits than 8 per 10 seconds. warriors had issues with more than 2/5, since shield block had a 5 second CD and only worked for 2 hits when specced for it.

[Quackie]

This vanished when the old WoW forums went away. Thank God it's been saved here in all its glory! =)