National Lampoon's Vacation - 7/10
Classic, not seen it for years.. would you believe it's now 40 years old? Crikey.
National Lampoon's Vacation - 7/10
Classic, not seen it for years.. would you believe it's now 40 years old? Crikey.
Koriani - Guardians of Forever - BM Huntard on TB; Kharmic - Worgen Druid - TB
Koriani - none - Dragon of Secret World
Karmic - Moirae - SWTOR
inactive: Frith-Rae - Horizons/Istaria; Koriani in multiple old MMOs. I been around a long time.
The Northman 7/10
Dear Kirk Cameron and Kevin Sorbo,
This is how you make a movie featuring a bunch of cringey religious fanatics doing the wrong things.
Somehow this managed to be less masculine than Everything Everywhere All At Once but at least the pitchers looked boffo.
Regards*, Ivanstone.
*Actually, fuck you Kirk Cameron. Kevin I hope you change your wicked ways because I liked some of the shit you've done in the past. Here's a how-to guide.
Harakiri: 10/10
Harakiri is a film that is truly deserving of its fame as one of the best films of all time. Unfortunately, in this day and age it is overshadowed by other Japanese films such as Seven Samurai and Ran, when I think it actually should be the other way around. It is not hyperbolic to state that Harakiri is probably the greatest film that has come out of Japan.
Harakiri tells us a poignant, emotional story told through the superb acting of Nakadai who compels you to listen to his every word. Kobayashi delivered frame-by-frame perfect direction and cinematography choke-full with unforgettable images and has blatantly influenced major setpieces from that era in all media. Takemitsu composed a deeply unsettling and atmospheric score that magnificently reveals the mystery little by little. There is a lot of meaning to digest in this film, but the most important one is the meaning of honor. Does it exist after everything is said and done? Is it something we can collectively define and agree upon?
What a masterpiece. Imma go and watch the entire Japanese catalog of the "classics" I haven't seen yet, and rewatch those I have.
Last edited by hellhamster; 2022-05-06 at 10:14 PM.
Doctor Strange & The Multiverse of Madness 5/10
Ehh. These Marvel films are really all the same to me. They all lack bite or edge. They're just cartoons.
Not poorly made, however. This is accomplished work. But what does it even matter? They have nothing to say, nothing to show aside from the spectacle and there are no stakes that matter.
Last edited by Fencers; 2022-05-07 at 12:34 AM.
Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.
Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free.
–The Sith Code
When the main character of Marvel movies has plot armor thicker than a Panzer tank, it kinda ruins all immersion and relatability because there are no stakes for any of us to care. This causes cynicism towards them.
If you stack superhero movies together, you get copy pasted plots and character arcs. They are fine popcorn flicks to watch and just turn your mind off, but really offer nothing as far as film making is concerned. On the 1000th Marvel movie, it just gets tedious.
I don't see how you can say that if you seen the movie. And plot armor is one of the most overused and misunderstood digs at movies right now.
And saying Strange had "plot armor" with how the movie ends just feels wrong to me.
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Well, that is a completely different argument than your first point.
Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.
Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free.
–The Sith Code
You are right, but I am going to put it differently: I don't care what happens to the main character because I can't relate.
Marvel movie plot:
1. Main character learns he has superpowers
2. Has difficulty controlling them at the start and alienates his friends and family
3. Stakes are (artificially) raised as some galaxy threatening entity arrives in the main character's town just because
4. Main character loses the first fight
5. Pulls his shit together, and with the power of friendship with other superpower dudes and dudettes eventually beats the bad guy
6. All movie quipping and basically acting like a psychopath without a fight or flight instinct, never caring about his personal well-being or showing genuine fear.
If Dr. Strange is different, I might go see it. In any other case I'll just assume it's a cartoon movie with cartoon characters and a cartoon plot. There is nothing wrong with that, but I just can't be bothered to see something regurgitated right now.
Last edited by hellhamster; 2022-05-07 at 01:18 PM.
Shang Chi - 5/10.
Love the Chinese myths and stuff, but the acting was bad, the plot was bad and the pacing was slow. One of the weaker Marvel movies.
MAGA - Make Alliance Great Again
Understandable, the movie isn't going to be for everyone. There are movies that I have friends rave about, but I just can't get into because I don't relate to anything going on. Like I saw the First Matrix and absolutely walked out wondering why everyone loved the movie so much, it was just so meh to me.
Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.
Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free.
–The Sith Code
The Northman - 8.5/10
Argh, this kind of movie is why I hate scoring stuff sometimes. It has some pacing issues, relies somewhat on the viewer's prior knowledge of Norse myths to fully appreciate, some of the fights are not that well choreographed, and the love story is kind of shoe-horned in despite Olga being a decent character in her own right.
That said I did really like this movie still. I'm a sucker for Norse myths and imagery so the above flaw was not a problem for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the raw, unfiltered look at their customs, legends and morals (or least, as best as we can manage to do more than a millennia later). The theatrical linguistics feel stilted at first, but when you understand that it's part of the film's commitment to bring an ancient saga to the picture it starts working quite well. The actors play their part well, Kidman especially has one scene to really shine and makes the absolute most of it. The story isn't exactly complicated but in this case simplicity is strength, and keeping the action contained around one area and a half dozen characters fits the story quite well. It's beautifully shot and while I said some fights aren't very convincing, others really are, the final one especially is really cool.
Speaking of the fighting, I truly have no idea how this movie was only 13+ in my neck of the woods. Some of the violence is really raw. Which is only appropriate for the brutal times on display, but still, can't remember the last time I saw a guy visibly disemboweled like this.
It is all that is left unsaid upon which tragedies are built -Kreia
The internet: where to every action is opposed an unequal overreaction.
Doctor Strange & The Multiverse of Madness
6/10
Marvel/Disney continuing to be uninspiring. Some great visuals like the previous Doctor Strange movie, although it does turn it up more in this one. Benedict Cumberbatch is always great. But its another Marvel movie at this point. Not the worst Marvel movie since End Game, but the quality has been falling since then. I do feel maybe Disney are trying to hit new beats, this movie did feel a bit darker, but they are not hitting for me. Fans of brain dead cinema will love this stuff, turn your brain off and knock yourself out and have a blast, but I got really tired of the MCU over the last 3 years and the movies look tired too, weak plot, uninspiring, 'remember this' tropes, and giving me nothing to grip onto.
Pretty sure I am going to be torn apart of this review like I was Spiderman: No Way Home, but I am sorry these movies are 'not doing it for me anymore' at worst, and 'barley doing it for' me at best.
Still looking forward to Thor: Love & Thunder but at this point, I am concerned. But all these MCU movies are making me do, is wanting to go back and read the comics. :P
Last edited by Orby; 2022-05-08 at 04:07 PM.
I love Warcraft, I dislike WoW
Unsubbed since January 2021, now a Warcraft fan from a distance
It wasn’t R rated where I am either. I never bothered looking at its rating until I bought my ticket and was surprised by it. I was actually expecting it to be far more gruesome than it actually was. People were mostly filthy and the dark cinematography also helped cover up some of the viscera.
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The middling reviews are damping my expectations but most seem to agree that the visuals are excellent and I would like to see excellent visuals on the big screen. I don’t mind shelling out some money for that.
Rashomon: 8/10
The girl did some incredible acting, while Mifune was his usual all over the place self that everyone loves. The premise felt a bit underwhelming, but still an excellent Kurosawa film from start to finish, with a lot of wisdom concerning subjective truths.
I'm not sure there's a single Marvel movie that meets these criteria, let alone it being a template for all of them. Heck, the very first point eliminates most Marvel movies... I don't think any of them "learned" they have powers (/tech) in their first movie. They all either had them already (Thor, GotG), or earned them (Captain America, Iron Man).
Even if you're a bit more generous with the interpretation, this really just describes movies in general. "Main character has some issues, situation to be resolved appears, main character doesn't instantly resolve it thus ending the movie, some more stuff happens, situation is eventually resolved".
Petite Maman 10/10
The best newly released film in the US. A masterpiece.
Yes, I cried like a little baby.
Fantastic Beasts 3 8/10
Best out of the three. Solid movie honestly. I remembered how confused I was watching the second movie so I watched the first two before this, and oh boy what a mess the storytelling is. Very aggressive and dense plot that will pick up storylines that were faintly hinted at two years ago and turn them into main plot. The entire plot of the second movie is basically a red herring. Nagini is in it too for some reason. If you watch them all back to back though it does make sense and the story is pretty good.
Great cast, great story, and really a more mature expansion of the HP universe. Music is great as always, sets are great, huge budget. It's hard to sell a prequel story that we all know the ending of over more than three movies with two year breaks in between, but so far so good. You can tell JK really loves Dumbledore and these movies are pretty much her love letter to that character.