Corrupt-A-Wish Forum Game

[Deleted]

Granted but after about the 5th or 6th one you can't think of any more wishes and the Genie representative in charge of your account gets frustrated and upset with you and proceeds to rip your limbs off while serenading you with Sarah MacLaughlin's ASPCA commercial and song.

I wish for the person to respond next to fall madly and eternally in love with.....a doorknob.

Granted. little known fact: there is a culture out there where the word for doorknob is also used for those people who are everlastingly loyal and are insanely good at everything they or their beloved do. I don't know when, where or what culture it is, but it is out there. I mean, look at how diverse the internet cultures are.

little background information for the wish: Belgium has something called "GAS-boetes". They're local administrative fines which can be called by any civil servant for anyone who is 14 or older. You can get them for a lot of things, most of them involving littering or disturbing the peace. However, there are some really weird ones out there:

1) people have been fined for eating a sandwich on the steps of churches, without even leaving anything behind;
2) people have been fined for using the waterslide in the public swimming hall in the wrong way;
3) people have been fined for fortune telling;
4) one of the most absurd: there is a village somewhere in Belgium where you can get such a fine for "dragging cardboard boxes over the street instead of lifting them".

As you can see, any community has their own definition of what is littering and disturbing the peace, and that's what so many people hate about it, the apparent randomness which this fines are generated with.

as for my wish: I wish there was far more coherent and consistent GAS-fine regulation.

[Blueobelisk]

Holy shit you guys have been busy in God's absence.

I wish blueobelisks next granted wish only contained 5 words instead of a wall of text and too much thinking.

Granted. You die, food poisoning.

I wish I hadn't been able to come up with such a witty corruption so quickly - it scared me.

Granted, your IQ is dropped by a standard deviation. You went from writing for the New York Times to writing facebook posts.

I wish i wasnt so gloriously evil mwahahaha!!!

Granted, you become a good guy, but the police refuse to let your past evil actions go unpunished so they continuously pursue you (or you can go to jail if you want).

I wish i could beat Cirno on lunatic

Granted, you're crazier than Cirno. We have to put you into a mental asylum. No internet or TV by the way. Just Batman and the Joker.

I wish my morning farts would leave such a hideous odor.

Granted, they don't, but you have two seconds to leave the room and lock the door (lock, not just close), and another eight seconds to get out of the house or it'll impair your vision for the day and you'll need trifocal glasses to see.

please Gdiaf. >: (

What...

No sir, I just play by the rules....and dirty.

Now corrupt my wish or be gone sir!

Granted. Danmakus is gone.

I wish I could use "chasm of despair in your soul" more often in daily conversation.

Granted, but you develop a stuttering problem whenever you intend to say those words, and eventually those words are all you can think about, so your speaking abilities are vastly inhibited. You end up living the rest of your life in front of a computer screen and keyboard where you can type without a problem.

I wish for the most perfect waffle in the entire galaxy.

Granted, but you have no syrup.

Granted, you now have a single pancake.

I wish there were more hours in a day.

Lol, pancake.

Granted, there are more hours in the day, but to do so the Earth ends up spinning a lot slower, which throws off its elliptical orbit around the sun, and in 2018 the Earth will be so close to the sun we all die of dehydration (if the skin cancer doesn't kill us first).

I wish someone would pack every boy band since the 1980's into a rocket and fire it into outer space - or at North Korea.

Granted. By the time the rocket is built and flying, the 2010s boy bands have a strong influence on music and you can't go outside without hearing one of their songs. Their songs are fucking annoying by the way.

I wish for unlimited wishes.

Granted, but as the usual request of a genie is 3 wishes, any wish you wish for will have significantly lower power than one you could have had before, since you wishes are unlimited. For example, if you wanted to wish for $1 trillion dollars before, now you can only wish for $10 per wish. Eventually the wishes become not worth the effort.

I wish for the person to respond next to fall madly and eternally in love with.....a doorknob.

Granted. But you know the saying right? "Your Mom's like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn." Turns out I'm in love with your Mom. Just call me big daddy from now on Ashak.

little background information for the wish: Belgium has something called "GAS-boetes". They're local administrative fines which can be called by any civil servant for anyone who is 14 or older. You can get them for a lot of things, most of them involving littering or disturbing the peace. However, there are some really weird ones out there:

1) people have been fined for eating a sandwich on the steps of churches, without even leaving anything behind;
2) people have been fined for using the waterslide in the public swimming hall in the wrong way;
3) people have been fined for fortune telling;
4) one of the most absurd: there is a village somewhere in Belgium where you can get such a fine for "dragging cardboard boxes over the street instead of lifting them".

As you can see, any community has their own definition of what is littering and disturbing the peace, and that's what so many people hate about it, the apparent randomness which this fines are generated with.

as for my wish: I wish there was far more coherent and consistent GAS-fine regulation.

Wtf nzall, you're taking too much of God's power in your wishes. Can't you just ask to win the lotto like everyone else...

Granted, being outside and not on your way to do something specifically will grant you a GAS-boete. This means that in Belgium, people must either stay in their house (or their own property like their backyard or porch) or be on their way to an establishment at all times. If you're caught lingering outside without being somewhere or doing something specifically, you get a fine. (Ex. You can sit in a restaurant to eat, go to work, even have a picnic if you want, but they must be planned activities.) There's no more going outside and just dicking around or hanging out, unless its at a specific place (like bowling or something).

I hope that made sense.

I wish my I had thermal goggles like from Splinter Cell.

[Akshak]

Granted but Wayne25uk has hacked into them and set them to stream nothing but PBS shows about traveling art shows, antiquing, and the finer points of basketweaving into them.

I wish my NY Times career hadn't devolved to reading what Blue had for breakfast and why I have a new dad now.

[Firefly]

I wish my I had thermal goggles like from Splinter Cell.

(Granted, but as you use them for the first time you accidentally look into an exploding flashbang grenade through a magnifying glass, blinding you forever.)

Edit: Disregard that, obviously my lack of caffeine has robbed me of the ability to comprehend the english language and made me interpret 'thermal goggles' as 'nightvision goggles'.

Granted, but you accidentally look into the center of a thermonuclear explosion through a telescope, blinding you forever.

I wish the office coffee maker would work.

[Deleted]

(Granted, but as you use them for the first time you accidentally look into an exploding flashbang grenade through a magnifying glass, blinding you forever.)

Edit: Disregard that, obviously my lack of caffeine has robbed me of the ability to comprehend the english language and made me interpret 'thermal goggles' as 'nightvision goggles'.

Granted, but you accidentally look into the center of a thermonuclear explosion through a telescope, blinding you forever.

I wish the office coffee maker would work.

Granted, but it gives you something almost but not quite entirely unlike tea..... and it's poisonous.

I wish MR. Popo was the main character of Dragon ball Z.

[Skippy88]

Granted, but it gives you something almost but not quite entirely unlike tea..... and it's poisonous.

I wish MR. Popo was the main character of Dragon ball Z.

Granted he becomes the main character of Dragon ball Z. In fact he's such the main character that there are no other characters on the show. It's just him. However, that becomes boring pretty quickly with audiences and the show is quickly cancelled.

I wish it was Spring Time.

[Akshak]

FWIW 3 of you skipped my wish and violated the rules! But I digress...

Granted it's Spring Time and the worst on record - multiple EF5 tornados and floods occur and storms pound your area with record size hail - we're talking the size of beach balls. Wear your helmet!

I wish that the next person who corrupts my wish in turn bursts into a ball of flame that cannot be doused.

[icedwarrior]

Granted. I now become waterwarrior (that sounds just terrible...), and flood your area. I'm now a tsunami of water that is on fire. Good luck staying alive.

I wish I had a ''monkey helper'' (a pet monkey which obeys my every command and does not injure unless explicitly told to do so by myself) in real life.

[Deleted]

Granted. I now become waterwarrior (that sounds just terrible...), and flood your area. I'm now a tsunami of water that is on fire. Good luck staying alive.

I wish I had a ''monkey helper'' (a pet monkey which obeys my every command and does not injure unless explicitly told to do so by myself) in real life.

Granted, but it's in a different solar system.

I wish some syrup for my pancake.

[Lora]

Granted, but the syrup turns you into a hardcore justin bieber fan.

I wish for the person that grants my wish to become a die hard one direction fan.

[Vizardlorde]

Granted but in a week One Direction breaks up into 5 directions and unable to pick which to follow i go back to gaming
I wish my wish couldn't be corrupted by your granting of my wish.

[Deleted]

Granted but in a week One Direction breaks up into 5 directions and unable to pick which to follow i go back to gaming
I wish my wish couldn't be corrupted by your granting of my wish.

Granted, but you won't get any since you just caused a paradox which caused another paradox since an paradox would be an uncorrupted wish, but since only a corrupted wish could be granted.... screw it, you get nothing.

I wish GC would give me that pony for my b-day.

[icedwarrior]

Granted. GC gives you Butt Stallion. (S)he immediately tramples you to death.

I wish I was a healthy weight.

[Vizardlorde]

Granted. GC gives you Butt Stallion. (S)he immediately tramples you to death.

I wish I was a healthy weight.

Granted but now you suffer from chronic heart disease.
I wish i had a potato

[icedwarrior]

Granted. You have once, in your lifetime, owned a potato. It was eaten by Butt Stallion.

I wish I owned a horse named Butt Stallion.

[Wayne25uk]

Granted,but its so named that way due to its obsession with wanting anal sex with its owners.

I wish for lube for icedwarrior as he will no doubt need it (i want it so i can just show him it and not give it to him)

[Firefly]

Granted, but Butt Stallion takes the lube in your hand as an invitation for him to mount you.

I wish for snow next week.

[Akshak]

Granted but the snow never stops and your house collapses under the immense weight and thus your food, water and computer are all buried along with you.

I wish the Black Stallion would come back and beat the crap out of Icedwarrior's horse Butt Stallion.

[Deleted]

Granted but the snow never stops and your house collapses under the immense weight and thus your food, water and computer are all buried along with you.

I wish the Black Stallion would come back and beat the crap out of Icedwarrior's horse Butt Stallion.

Granted, but after a fierce battle, Butt stallion and Black stallion realize their love for eachother and they will hunt you down for your wish that turned them against eachother.

Also, your pants are on fire.

I wish the most corrupted wish of corrupted wishes.
Be creative!

[Firefly]

Granted but the snow never stops and your house collapses under the immense weight and thus your food, water and computer are all buried along with you.

NOOOOO my computer!

I wish the Black Stallion would come back and beat the crap out of Icedwarrior's horse Butt Stallion.

[Too slow]Granted, but after Black Stallion is finished with Butt Stallion he gets bored and turns to beating the crap out of you.

- - - Updated - - -

I wish the most corrupted wish of corrupted wishes.
Be creative!

Granted, I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness in the world.
(See what I did there?)

I wish my computer back! (See post above)